Saturday, May 5, 2012

Hooray for Beer!!! It Makes Us Smart!!!

You knew beer makes you smarter. And now there's science from Chicago to prove it. Cognitive psychologist Jennifer Wiley of the University of Illinois at Chicago found that people with a 0.07 blood alcohol level (BAC) were better at creative problem-solving tasks than those who were not given any drinks. “We have this assumption, that being able to focus on one part of a problem or having a lot of expertise is better for problem solving,” says Wiley. “But that’s not necessarily true. Innovation may happen when people are not so focused. Sometimes it’s good to be distracted.”

That’s because the alcohol helped study participants access remote ideas, ideas that develop through association not linear analysis. In fact, linear reasoning can keep people focused on ideas they think are important but really aren’t.

For example, if Wiley asked you to tell her what word goes with the following: blue, cottage, Swiss. And you said, “cheese,” you’d be accessing your remote ideas, not linear ones. That is, you associated blue, cottage, and Swiss with cheese, a commendable and constructive thing to do.

Those who drank to 0.07 solved 40% more of the problems than their teetotaling counterparts. The drinkers finished their problems in 12 seconds while it took the non-drinkers 15.5 seconds.

Go study.

Don't Add Your Mom On Facebook

Disgusting and Disturbing!  One can only hope Phyllis didn't know what a MILF was.

Peeing on the Golf Course

I cannot make this stuff up!!!  This is a true product.  There is a golf club that allows you to unscrew the handle and pee into it while on the course.  Check out the website for the UroClub.

Not sure about you, but I prefer finding a big tree on the edge of the course...or just using the port-o-potty.

Spam - How I Hate Thee!

Here's a comment to a recent post:



What else could an ordinary, testosterone-driven, manly male, super-stud, who happens to think he writes on the level of Hemingway, do but feel a rush of pride upon reading this comment?

I wanted to thank gooooood girl (did I get all the o's?), so I hurriedly clicked on her name to visit the profile of this obviously intelligent, well-read, educated blog reader.

Here is what I found when I clicked on her profile:



Fulltiltpoker.com?  This chick was a spammer!  She wants to recruit smart, handsome males who know how to write into joining that stupid website.  What a joke!!!  I have to admit, I felt a little used and sad, but I will bounce back!!!  Mark my Words!

Oh yeah -- One more thing:  fulltiltpoker.com can kiss my butt!

Internet Power Sites as Superheroes


Another Cinco de Mayo Post

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Cinco de Mayo once again.  This time, I have Salma Hayek sending her best Cinco de Mayo Wishes.  So Get out there and drink a Dos XX, Tecate, Sol or Pacifico!!!



Another Shameless Plug!



First and foremost, Thanks to all who read this blog! I truly appreciate my readers.  You guys are awesome!

Now, my shameless, selfless plug benefiting nobody buy myself.

If you are reading this blog, you are one of my blog readers!  Hooray!!!

So I please ask that you follow my blog via Google Friend connect.  It is located to the left where all the pics are of the pretty people who follow the blog already.  It says "Fans of the Semi-Mad Man"  You can add your pretty pic there just by clicking the join button.  It is easy to do!

Also, I would ask that you like my blog page on Facebook.  You can find it at http://www.facebook.com/RamblingsOfASemiMadman or just click the Like button on the left hand column under all the flags.  You probably have to scroll down a little.  You can even get your pic on there as well.

Lastly, for those who have Networked Blogs app, please scroll down that left column to near the bottom.  You can follow my blog via Networked blogs by clicking that follow button.  Or you can just click on this link: http://www.networkedblogs.com/blog/ramblings-of-a-semi-mad-man

Oh wait, I almost fogot.  You can add me as a friend on facebook too. Here is my personal facebook page.

And if you have twitter, follow me as well:

@semi_madman


I also have a Google + account.

Damn!!!  I am connected!  Thanks for following and liking and friending and all that other stuff.  I will follow back, friend back and like back as well.  Just let me know!  I am also going to make a badge.  Maybe we can exchange badges (Damn, that sounds so Elementary Schoolish!)

Have a great day and thanks for Reading "Ramblings of a Semi-Madman"

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

Happy Cinco de Mayo.  A little history behind the holiday -  The holiday stems from the defeat of the French by the Mexican army in the Battle of Puebla.  You see, the Mexicans owed alot of money to the French so the French decided to invade Mexico and take it over until they got their money back.  Needless to say, the Mexican Army won, handing France another Military defeat, and Mexico was cleared of all their debts to France.  So it was a double whammy against the French.  They just can't win!!! 

I lived in Mexico for 6 years and in Monterrey, Cinco de Mayo is not a big deal.  There is school, businesses are open, etc.  You could go the whole day and not know that there was a big wild celebration going on North of the Rio Grande.  Unless you are in Puebla, Cinco de Mayo is not all that widely celebrated.  Cinco de Mayo is big here in the US because of the beer companies.  Looking to tap into the growing Latino market 40+ years ago, the beer companies decided to market Cinco de Mayo as a huge Mexican Holiday.  They spent millions on advertising and literally created the first "Mexican-American" Holiday.  Many of these execs wrongly thought that Cinco de Mayo was Mexico's independence day. WRONG!!! That would be 16 de Septiembre.  Get it right!!!!

Anyway, have fun celebrating this "Pseudo" holiday and stay safe!!!

Is Facebook Male or Female?

A friend found this out there in Cyber Space and wanted my opinion:
Considering that Facebook changes something on a weekly basis, I am thinking that I have to agree with Ed. What do you think? 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Jesus Was Here!


The Cat Daddy Dance Featuring Kate Upton

Remember that Kate Upton GIF I posted a couple of days ago.  It was taken from this video.  Enjoy!


Holy Crap!

IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So the picture has nothing to do with the weekend, but it was hilarious!   THANK GOD THE WEEKEND IS HERE!  Have a great weekend

The Joys of Teaching High School!


Pro Poker Player? Maybe That is My Calling!

Poker Income vs Sports Salaries Infographic

Free Advice Fridays - How to Save a Wet IPhone

Special thanks to Midori West for making this video that is full of advice!

What is Strange About This Picture?

I didn't put the pic on here because there are 2 girls in a bikini (although that is usually reason enough for me to post a pic).  Look closely!  Do you see anything a little weird?


Free Advice Fridays - Fun and Unusual Date Ideas

Sent to me by Amanda J., a blog follower in Indiana.  (Via 9gag.com)  Thanks Amanda!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My Thursday Night

Got home from work and mowed the lawn, did the weed eating and decided to treat everyone to BBQ ribs and beer!  This is what my Thursday Night is looking like!



My Guess is...NO!


Peak Oil Theory

I was working on my Master’s Degree in International Relations at the TEC in Monterrey, Mexico while I lived there and I remember coming across an interesting article on “Peak Oil” theory.  I ended up writing a paper on it.  I couldn't find the paper, but I remember it, more or less.  The reason I bring this up now is that I saw someone on CNN talking about "Peak Oil" yesterday and thought I would share my opinion on it.

The “Peak Oil” Theory was conceived in the 1950’s. The theory is based on the idea that gas and oil are finite resources that one day will be depleted. A novel concept and one that makes a lot of sense, but it was not widely followed until recently. There are still some naysayers out there.

For most of the 20th century, the oil industry operated on the assumption that oil and gas reserves are based on inelastic supply and demand laws. They believed that as long as there was a demand for oil, there would be oil. For example, old lanterns in the north were fueled by whale oil. So as long as people used these whale-oil lamps, there would always be a supply of whale oil. This was true as long as you did not run out of the supply.

The peak oil date is the date that oil production begins a steady and continuous decline. There are different peak oil dates, but most believers in this concept agree that it will happen between ten and 25 years from now. That is not a lot of time. It should happen during our lifetimes.

So what will happen when the world hits this peak oil date? There are many different theories as to what will happen. Let me give you mine.

I believe that the years after we hit the peak oil date will lead to social disintegration. Society as we know it will quickly break down as we begin fighting over fuel.

The price of the fuel that is left will skyrocket leading to an economic crisis. The international banking system will collapse since it is based on the increasing prosperity of an oil-based economy. This will lead to you, the Average Joe, guarding your packets of dried milk and your canned vegetables with a shotgun as you fend off gangs looking to loot anything that they can use to survive. People will have to start burning their furniture and the trees in their yard for warmth. Going to the Ration Centers to get your monthly loaf of bread, stick of butter, sack of sugar and flour will turn into a walk of survival.

The Kelly Kelly Attack One-Year Anniversary


One year ago today, the WWE's beautiful diva diva Kelly Kelly (Barbara Jean Blank) got attacked  on RAW. I remember that night vividly.  I am not a WWE or Raw fan.  I could care less actually.  I was a big Pro Wrestling fan when I was a teenager, but I lost interest.   The only time I will watch it is when they have their HOTTIE Divas on TV.  (Trish Stratus is still my favorite -- Pic Below!)


Anyway, I was channel surfing that night and I came across this incredibly gorgeous blond wearing a skimpy bikini.  I had to linger on the channel to watch.  Look at that body!!!  Anyway, one thing led to another and she got attacked and her bikini top came off.  Of course they blurred out her boobs, but I have an active imagination.  That and it isn't hard to google her to find pics of the Hottie Diva (both clothed and unclothed.)


Why did I post this?  This was an important moment in my life.  Kelly Kelly briefly topped my "fantasy" list and therefore deserves a memorial post.  She has since dropped out of the top 20, but she still holds a place near and dear in my heart. 


Oh yeah, here is that Trish Stratus pic I promised:


Glad You Are Trying to Get in Shape, But...

...maybe you could wear a sport bra or something next time you go for a jog!

It's just a suggestion.  :)

Only in America!

This is a sign from Hussey's General Store in Maine.  American Society is great, isn't it?  (Sarcasm for those who can't pick it up right away!)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

It's the Exorcist!


Another Sexy Kate Upton GIF

This time, she is dancing in a bikini!  I have another hot GIF of Kate here.  And a video here.  Oh, and don't forget a pic of Kate dressed as a sexy Nun!

Viagara Corporate Offices

A picture of the the Viagara Corporate Offices in Toronto, Canada.  I think they are taking it a little too far, don't you?  

Next Time You Need a Beer in a Public Place...


Fool proof!  No one will know.  Just buy the extra large Mcdonald's Drink, or Casey's, or Burger King, or any other fast food or convenience store drink.  Dump it and place a beer in there.  

I hate drinking beer through a straw and I know that it can sometimes be a little "Girlie", but when there isn't an alternative and you gotta have a beer...Well, you get the idea.  

Don't forget to keep the cup.  You can use it over and over again.  I have taken it to the Farmer's Market, the Mall, Parks and Rec softball games, and even to church (it was pre-wedding and I was the best man.  I needed something to calm my nerves!)  

Wanted - Clown to Annoy my Neighbor

This was recently posted on Craigslist.  There are some Weird People out there!


Clown for Kicks (Mendota Heights)
Date: 2010-08-28, 11:12AM CDT
Reply to: sale-hqu43-1346837248@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I am looking for someone to dress up like a Clown and hang out with me. I would cook you diner – or we could BBQ something. I’m interested in making my neighbor lady wonder. I have already had a man in a panda costume last month – and also had a heard of sheep come in for the day to cut the grass. (sheep do a good job by the way). A clown would be something.

Maybe you could bring some balloons – or make balloon animals to hang in my tree. I’d like to have this done some evening between 6pm and dark. The longer you can stay the better (like if you could stay for the whole 3 hours). Do you have any tricks you could do?

Like I said – I could cook diner and get you drunk – I’d even be willing to pay your cab fare to and from. I don’t have much to offer – and my neighbor lady is driving me nuts – so I want to drive her nuts. If you had a Mime friend – it would be cool to see you two chase each other around the yard or do relay races while I time you.

Let me know your thoughts – open to Men and Women Clowns.

Talk About Karma...

The Carson-Gore Academy of Environmental Sciences, a school in Los Angeles named for Former VP/Environmentalist Al Gore and the founder of the environmental movement Rachel Carson, was built on a toxic site.

That is just too funny!!!  What are the odds?  (Actually, in California the odds are probably pretty high you are building on some kind of toxic site)

So True...


10 Highest paying States for Teachers - IOWA is not one of them

Found a list compiled by The Apple, a website for teachers, that lists the 10 highest paying states for teachers.  If you look closely, Iowa is not on the list (That really is not surprising considering this state has virtually no respect for teachers (or maybe it is just my district, who knows).  Anyway, the top 10 are:

1. California
2. New York
3. Connecticut
4. New Jersey
5. District of Columbia
6. Illinois
7. Massachusetts
8. Maryland
9. Rhode Island
10. Alaska

Not many of those states are places I would want to live.  DC is great to visit, but their schools are pretty rough.  And many of the states are east coast.  I am just not an east coast type of guy.  I remember seeing a list awhile back (I think I posted it here on this blog) and Iowa was pretty low.  I think they were in the upper 30's or maybe even #40 in teacher pay.  Looks like I am going to be working well into my 70's...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Don't Say "No" to Stacey Ortiz


After her live-in boyfriend repeatedly rebuffed demands to have sex, a Florida woman allegedly attacked the man in their bedroom, chased him out of the house, and broke the windshield on his truck, police report. 
Stacey Ann Ortiz, a 34-year-old waitress, was busted on a misdemeanor battery charge following the confrontation last Wednesday morning at the Port St. Lucie residence the couple has shared for the last seven months. 
As detailed in a Port St. Lucie Police Department report, Ortiz and her beau, 27, quarreled after returning home from a night of drinking at a pal’s house. While Ortiz sought to have sex, her boyfriend wanted to “lie in bed and watch TV.” 
After the victim repeatedly turned down Ortiz’s sex entreaties, matters turned physical, according to police. Ortiz allegedly attacked the victim, who told cops that “in an effort to get away from her he ran down stairs and out the garage.” Ortiz, the victim added, chased after him. 
At this point, the man called 911 to report that “his girlfriend was chasing him down the street and was attacking him.” When cops arrived, the victim was “only wearing his underwear” and had a cut on his forehead and several scratches on his chest. 
Ortiz, pictured in the above mug shot, told police that she got into a “verbal argument which escalated into a physical argument,” adding that her boyfriend “head butted” her during the dispute. Ortiz–who copped to using a metal mop handle to break the windshield of her boyfriend’s truck–said she chased the victim down the street because she was “mad.” Ortiz, however, declined to discuss what triggered the couple’s argument. 
Since cops judged Ortiz the “primary aggressor,” she was collared on a domestic battery charge and booked into the St. Lucie County jail. Free on her own recognizance, Ortiz is scheduled to be arraigned in Circuit Court on May 8.
Not sure how bad the dude was beat up, but you have to wonder if it was worth.  If he got his ass kicked and face all beat in, and then he had to have all this public (that he got beat up by Stacey); then it might have been better to just give in and have a quickie.  Just sayin...

Poor Rian...Never Touched a Boob!

Who the Hell would admit that on TV?  Seriously?  You know your friends and a million others will be watching.  You are setting yourself up for endless jokes and ridicule.

And I don't believe this guy.  There is no way someone can go the first 28 years of their life without touching a boob unless you just don't want to or you don't like women.  Think about it.  You could always get one of your friends to let you touch hers when she is drunk.  Or you could go to a strip club and get a little feel before they kick you out.   Or give 10 bucks to a Crack Whore or Meth Addict and I am sure she would left her shirt up and let you feel both of them!  

If this is true, then DUDE, you are missing out!  They're awesome!  Boobs are actually two of my favorite things...









Terrifying Tuesday -- Terrifying Cities

This week's Terrifying Tuesday Topic deals with the places we live.  It is a list of the 10 most terrifying cities in the United States, as ranked by me!!!  Enjoy and let me know of any additions or changes to the list.

1. Las Vegas, NV



A year or two ago, Men’s Health declared Las Vegas to be the fattest city in the U.S. It is also full of people who come to the city thinking they are going to leave millionaires but find that they are actually going to leave broke.  I have seen people in the Vegas airport that spent 12+ hours in the airport in a bewildered daze because they lost all their $$ and were forced to check out of their hotel early. 

Don't even think of venturing off of the strip or the downtown area.  Vegas is a rough town with some areas full of crime.  Criminals are just waiting for a drunk tourist to wander into these crappy parts of town, which are usually only 6 or 7 blocks away from the strip or downtown area. 

And how come Vegas brings out the worst in people fashion-sense wise.  60 year old women dressing like skanky 20-somethings, 45 year old overweight guys wearing designer tank tops and shorts that are way too tight.

Also, remember those Vegas adds that say "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas"?  Not true!!  I bet Vegas has caused more divorces than any other city in the states. 

2. Tacoma, Wash.

This city carries a number of dubious distinctions.  The city is in the top 5 for suicide rates.  It has also been named the most stressful city in the United States.  The city's divorce rate and unemployment rate is also in the top 3 in the U.S. My tip -- Stay away from this city!

3. Baltimore, MD



Contrary to popular belief that New York is lair for rats, Baltimore is actually the most rat-infested city in America. Make sure you check under your hotel room bed next time you are there.






4. El Paso, TX

A recent study done by Hallmark Cards showed that El Paso has the worst sense of humor of any city in the country. They also have the lowest greeting card sales numbers. I guess living across the border from perhaps the world's most dangerous city (Juarez, Mexico) is enough reason for people to be a little prudish. 

5. Detroit, MI

This place secured the top spot on Forbes’ list of Most Miserable Cities. Don’t move here unless you want to be the victim of violent crimes and high unemployment rates!  Their tourism numbers have dropped to almost nothing.  No one wants to move or visit here.  CNN named it a "Dying" city, meaning people are moving away fromt he city at such a high rate that the city's population could be halved in as little as 12 years. 

This pic is of a neighborhood a few blocks from downtown Detroit.

6. Hollywood, CA

Sure, there are celebrities in the area, but not many are in Hollywood these days.  The Celebs live in Malibu or Beverly Hills and work in the movie studios that have all moved to the suburbs.  What does Hollywood have now?   Celebrity Impersonators (Bad ones at that), gangs, prostitutes, drug addicts, and other freaky people. 



7. New Orleans, LA

Voodoo, dark alleys, and a corpse every now and then floating through the city from the days when they buried bodies, not thinking they were using a swamp as a graveyard.  Two words cement New Orleans on this list -- MARDI GRAS.  If you have ever been to N.O. for Mardi Gras, you will know what I am talking about.  Every freak in America comes to the city. 


8. Death Valley, CA

Isn’t this one a little obvious? I mean, why would anyone voluntarily enter a place called the Valley of Death? Scary!

9. New York City, NY

Aside from having the worst housing in America, this place is easily the most intimidating city in the country. I remember talking to a friend who moved there and he told me that there were close to 7,000 people that lived on his block!!!!  It’s just way too many people crammed into one place. There’s plenty of space in Montana and West Texas!






10. Los Angeles, CA



The city with the largest class stratification in America, complete with plenty of slimy millionaires, down-on-their-luck beggars and tons of boob jobs.  If you want to see a little of everything, visit L.A. 

And Don't forget the Smog!!

Stopping Traffic!


So I'm driving back home from downtown Des Moines yesterday and all of a sudden, traffic hits a standstill. And it wasn't in one of the typical places either (i.e. a long light, a busy interchange, or a bottleneck during rush hour). So I figure it's gotta be an accident. And I sit and I stare and I crawl along and aftera few minutes of creeping along, I see what's slowing us all down. A car by the side of the road with a girl in impossibly tight pants bent over it, checking something in the trunk (not her trunk, the trunk of her car). People were literally slowing down to look at her ass, and I even saw a couple dudes in a Jeep in front of me taking pics with their phones.

Not too many people can say they have an ass that actually caused traffic to stop. This girl can.

If I Were a Cat...

...This would be "How I Roll!"

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