Saturday, May 12, 2012

70-Yr-Old Virgin Ready for Some Lovin'



YOU GO GIRL!  If I were a 70 or 80 year old guy, I would probably volunteer my services (assuming I can still get it up at that age.  If I can't, I will supply the Viagara!)

Cameron Diaz Did Softcore Porn

WOW!!  Cameron Diaz did a softcore porn video back in the early 90's.  This is a short clip to it.

WARNING!!!  NSFW!!!  There is a brief boobie shot in there, so watch out where you watch it.


Cameron Diaz - Softcore SM 1992 by airjackson1988

I am shocked.  I guess Cameron definitely wasn't an angel.  She doesn't look like an S&M type of girl!

April Rose Rides a Mechanical Bull

Anytime a hottie rides a mechanical bull, you know it is going to be good!  This is Maxim's April Rose riding one in my former hometown of Austin, Texas. ENJOY!!!


Facts About Poop

Admit it.  You really want to know...

Just click on the Poster to enlarge and learn all there is to learn about Poop. 

I'm Sorry Canada

I have a lot of Canadian Friends, so let me start this off by saying "I'm Sorry!"  Hope you guys laugh at this!
And don't forget to play my "Spot the Canadian" Game


Either Steroids in the Ass or Photoshop?

Which one is it?  This is either a photoshopped pic or this girl has been injecting steroids into her ass.  That is a big ass for such a little body!  What do you think?

Ouch! This is Why You Use Small Piñata Sticks

Friday, May 11, 2012

A 4 Second Knockout

You wouldn't guess who did it either.



The tall guy looked like a nerdy Science Geek type of guy.

Now That is a Nut Shot!!!

Apparently a well-deserved one!


Trabzonspor's Didier Zokora was given a yellow card for this tough to watch kick to the balls on Fenerbahce's Emre. Didier claims the kick was in retaliation to a slur Emre dropped on him in an earlier match. "Emre and I came face to face during the match," Zokora said. "I'll tell you what he said word for word. He called me: 'A dirty n*****'."

Emre received a two game ban in addition to the kick in the Balls!    

Nothing Says Happy Mothers Day Like a Personalized Tattoo


And Mom looks like a possible Milf!

Having a sex change helps prevent return of prostate cancer

I saw this on CNN of all places.  I missed the first 10 seconds or so and did not get the name of the study. 
A recent study found that men diagnosed with prostatic carcinoma who later underwent a sex change with removal of their prostate, testes and penis in favor of a surgical reconstructed vagina and clitoris had a 90% reduction in the reoccurance of their prostatitic carcinoma.

Doctor's are quick to point out that there needs to be more studies conducted to verify these results but in light of this news some more aggressive doctors are starting to recommend pre-emptive sex change operations with prostatectomy for their high risk patients.
OK, So why would this be such big news?  This makes no Sense!!  Of course you are going to have a reduced risk for Prostrate Cancer when you get your Prostrate Removed!!!!!  And we are actually paying for studies on this? 

Maybe some people would have a sex-change to prevent cancer, but I think I would pass on that and take my chances on it coming back.  I kind of like my junk.

Free Advice Fridays From the Dos XX Guy


Time Magazine -- WTF?


What a weird cover?  A 3? year old boy sucking on his mommie's boobies?  (I put in the question mark because there is some discussion as to whether the kid is actually 3 or maybe 4 or 5.  Apparently there is a report out there that the kid is older but Time didn't want the age difference to be so much.  I have yet to find any proof on that.)  Anyway, that is a F$%^ed up cover!  

Here is Time Magazine’s explination for the cover.
The subjects on this week’s TIME cover aren’t models in pose. Jamie Lynne Grumet, photographed by Martin Schoeller with her 3-year-old son, is a mother from Los Angeles who subscribes to attachment parenting, the subject of staff writer Kate Pickert’s cover story. Attachment parenting has been on the rise over the last two decades, since the publication of The Baby Book by Dr. Bill Sears and his wife, Martha, in 1992. Its three main tenets are extended breast-feeding, co-sleeping and “baby wearing,” in which infants are physically attached to their parents by slings.
I still think the cover is too weird for my taste.  How am I going to explain that to my son and daughter?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

6 Yr. Old Unassisted Triple Play!

A Six Year Old Little League player pulled off the rarest of all baseball plays this week"  The Unassisted Triple Play!  Sign this kid up to play in the Majors!


I Love Mexico!



I used to Live in Mexico, so I know the country and the women.  Love them!  It is a country filled with Hotties!  And Julia Orayen is just one of many.
Mexico's Federal Electoral Institute (IFE) is apologizing because former Playboy model Julia Orayen stole the show at the country's presidential debate this weekend. Clad in a cleavage revealing white dress, Julia handed out cards to the debaters indicating who would come first to the mike.

They Look So Happy in the Picture...

...but it looks like that Mom won't be getting a Mother's Day card from her "Loving" Daughter!

Lucky Monkey!

I don't often want to be a monkey, but I would trade places with this one. Think he copped a feel? 

Blue Ovaries?!?!?!

Is that even possible?  I know about blue balls (and yes, It happens!  although they may not actually turn blue, it is a feeling.  I think you have to be a guy to understand).

Anyway, the other day at work, a colleague of mine was talking about how she has not had any "good" sex in forever.  According to her, her recent sexual exploits have been "too boring, too plain...They just want to get on top for a few minutes and get off.  I am tired of it and it sure as Hell doesn't do it for me!"  Then she muttered the now infamous words that are circulating around the office "I have fuckin' Blue Ovaries!"

She said this loud enough in the break room for about 7 people to hear it.

Now I am the one that is know for witty comebacks and one-liners.  After she said it, at least half of the people turned to look at me, expecting me to say something that was either funny or offensive.  Trust me, I was tempted to say something, but I let it pass because the Boss was sitting in the room in the corner.  He is knew and I wasn't sure how he would react.  Also, "Blue Ovaries" was a new one for me.  I have to admit, it caught me off guard.

So ladies, is this "Blue Ovaries" thing a myth or is it reality?  Is there a female equivalent to our "Blue Balls"?

Maybe the lady from the Previous post has some experience with this...

Babes In Bras on a Roller Coaster



It seems that an amusement park and an underwear manufacturer teamed up to make this video.   BRILLIANT!

From the Youtube Page:
Alton Towers Resort teamed up with Britains leading underwear brand, Ultimo to make sure women dont make a boob on the rides this summer. 

A group of test-riders donned a variety of Ultimo bras and were put through their paces on several rides, including Rita Queen of Speed and Spinball Whizzer, to test the durability and lift support of bras-and to make sure they were a snug fit. 

Morwenna Angove, Sales and Marketing Director for the Alton Towers Resort said: With a number of ground-breaking, world-first rollercoasters at the Resort, we are pleased that their G-force is such a thrill for our visitors. Whilst we understand that in warmer climates women will wear skimpier clothing, the tests show that well-fitted brassieres such as those from the Ultimo range, will help to control the risk of further unprecedented exposures in the future.

I Don't Think She is too Fun in the Bedroom

The Pizza Vending Machine

The Administration needs to put one of these on the Campus here where I work.  I am sure that would increase production and probably cut down on those extra long lunch breaks at Jethro's and Godfathers!  


Mother's Day Idea - Via Wal-Mart



Seriously Wal-Mart!!!  What are you thinking? 

Unless you market this towards Cougars and their kids.  Then, it could work!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Brandon Inge Hits a Home Run, a Guy's Balls and a Chick's Face - All in One Swing

Sexy Bond Girls -- The Flow Chart!

Which one is your favorite?  For the full size one, Head over to Buzz Feed!

Awkward Moments

A new feature here at Ramblings!  Awkward Moments!  We have all had them and we probably don't always want to share them.  These are moments that have happened to me, been found by me whilst scouring the internet or been sent to me by my wonderful readers. Enjoy!

First one was found while scouring the internet.  Come on and admit it people.  This has happened to you, Right?!?!?  I know it has happened to me on several occasions.  Very awkward indeed.  And if you are coming in, it is even worse.  You wait hoping the guy leaves before you are done.  I am sure the guy in the stall is hoping you leave before him.  It is like a game of cat and mouse.  You DO NOT want to have to see each other again, face-to-face!

Why Would You Have Dirt On Your Teeth?


Do you eat grass or something?  Maybe this dude Grazes?  Anyway, This little post kind of turned me into a hater, so go ahead and "Brush Me Away!"  

Can You Spot The Canadian




10 Things that Piss Me Off!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fu*k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say, ''Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too. ''Fu*k off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

5. When people say, ''It's always in the last place you look.'' Of course it is. Why the Fu*k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, ''Did you see that?'' No dickhead, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the ceiling?

7. I still get pissed off by that 90's radio ad: ''Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't.'' Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake

8. People who ask, ''Can I ask you a question?'' Didn't really give me a choice, didja there buddy?

9. When something is ''new and improved.'' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fu*king pulled me over.

Something My Students Can Expect Next Semester...

I like this!  A friend sent me this.  Apparently, there is a professor that makes her students sing a random song if their phone goes off during her lectures.  It is too late for this semester (we just finished classes) but I am thinking I may try this next semester. Beware English Students!!!  


Happy Birthday Rosario!!!

A Big Happy Birthday to Hottie Rosario Dawson!  She turns 32 today!  




Tuesday, May 8, 2012

12 Most Terrifying Tourist Destinations


I lived in Bolivia and have driven over the death road 6 times (3 round trips).  Personally, I would put that one up a little higher!  

12. Chernobyl Tours
11. Death Road Tour
10. Bungee Jumping into an Active Volcano
9. Swim in Shark Infested Waters
8. Volcano Helicopter Tours
7. Climbing Mont Blanc on the French/Italian Border
6. Swimming with the Jellyfish
5. Cliff Jumping at Bash Bish Falls
4. Climbing Mount Cook in New Zealand
3. Beautiful and Deadly Destination
2. Tobaggan on an Active Volcano
1. Walk the Plank at Mt. Huashan China

[via SkyToday]

Beef Poster - Just So You Know Where Your Beef Comes From

Not sure why I am posting this, other than it brings back Iowa State Fair memories.  I used to get one of these every year when I was little at the Beef booth of the Ag building. 

Flags of the World



Check out this website if you are a Flag Buff!  You just run your mouse over a country and it shows you the flag and what the symbols/colors mean.  Very cool.

Billboard Music Awards - A Little Behind the Times?


Hold Up Billboard!  What are you trying to prove?  This is a joke.  Foster the People and Scotty McCreery are the only two "New Artists".  Bad Meets Evil and Big Sean have been around a few years, they certainly aren't new.  And Wiz Khalifa?  Really?  He was nominated for best new artist in the Grammy's or some other award show TWO years ago.  How can he be new?  

Billboard, You guys are screwed in the head or something!

Inflated Animals = Inflated Car Sales?

I’ve got a question for you -- Whenever you see a car dealership that has one of those big blue gorillas wearing boxer shorts, do you feel like you to stop inside, test drive a vehicle, and then leave the lot with a brand new car?  I DIDN'T THINK SO!!!  Obviously these people failed Advertsing 101.
Blue Gorilla Inflatable in Boxer Shorts
Seriously, why do car dealerships even bother with the inflatables? Are they bringing in folks off the street? Is there some kind of weird psychological plot that all these car dealerships are involved in?  Maybe they are trying to mess with our minds -- The big gorillas will come to life and tear you apart if you don't stop in!!!!  Who knows?!?!?  I just call it ineffective advertising and a waste of $$$. 

Is this Breakfast or Lunch?

This is called a Cinnaburger.  It is a cinnamon roll cut in half with a burger and cheese in the middle.  That would be the Breakfast thinkers point of view.  For the lunch lovers, it is a cheeseburger with a cinnamon roll as a bun. 


As for me, I think it is just plain disgusting!  It is like eating a burger with sugar all over it.  YUCK!  I will pass!

Monday, May 7, 2012

THE THONG!!!

What is it about the power of the thong that to this day -- now that pretty much every female walking the earth is wearing one -- holds men enraptured? Dude, I recall that, in the dark, pre-thong era, seeing a glimmer of some chick's underwear when she bent over was so cool. In high school, if you catching a glimpse of a girls underwear was an achievement that you bragged about to your friends for weeks. Your friends would look at you in awe as you described the color and design of the hot cheerleaders underwear you saw. But seeing underwear 10 years ago never instilled the lascivious, sinister thoughts that somehow the sight of a thong incurs.

Case in point: I just returned from the mall, and one of the girls working at some clothing store was a big girl; not immense, but she had to go at least a good 200 pounds. Every time she bent over, she flashed some big  thong action, and every guy within a 50 yard radius would stop and watch, spellbound. I mean, every guy. And not in a "holy shit, look at that" kinda way, but more in a "mmmmmm.... thongs" kinda way. I doubt they were turned on by it. I mean she wasnt exactly a looker. But the guys were turned on by the thong. My  friend Brent says a thong automatically raises a girl a point or two on the hotness scale.

It's magic, people. Anyway, to every chick out there wearing a thong today, I salute you. 






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