Saturday, June 2, 2012

Our Favorite Bikinis - 2nd Installment

On Tuesday, We started presenting "Our Favorite Bikinis."  Throughout the summer, we will present some of the coolest, wildest and sexiest bikinis that we have seen.  Our first one was HOT, HOT, HOT (The Bikini and the Girl!)

This one is Hot in a "almost wearing nothing" sense.  Not sure how many of you ladies out there would actually wear this one.  It leaves little to the imagination.

--Enrique Santos


Check Out All of Our Favorite Bikinis

Most Awkward Sex Scenes on TV During the Last Season

I Have to Be Honest here, except for the scene from Game of Thrones, I didn't recognize any of them.  I need to expand my TV Watching.  Looks like there is some interesting stuff out there!  

(Warning:  NSFW)


The Most Awkward Sex Scenes From The 2011-2012 TV Season

--Enrique Santos

The Ass Man

I am an Ass Man!  I love a good Ass!  I would rather have a woman with a perfect ass rather than big fake tits (not that there is anything wrong with big tits; I guess I would love to have both, but if I had to pick one or the other, I would pick the ass...Anyway, back to the post)

I am making a new certificate for all of the lovely ladies out there with a Great Ass.  I will be randomly handing these out on 6th Street tonight to all the hotties that have a great Ass!  So if you have a stranger approach you and hand you a "Great Piece of Ass" Certificate, take it with a smile and a sense of pride.  

And if any readers out there think they deserve a certificate, send me your pic and I will gladly send you a certificate if I deem it "Certificate" worthy.  It does not need to be your naked ass (I know many of you are modest), it can be an ass with a thong, bathing suit, tight jeans or dress, short shorts, etc.  Just send those pictures to:  espleasure@gmail.com  I will post the best ones!!!  


--Enrique Santos



Getting Limber for the Doggy Olympics

I was LMFAO!!!  I have never seen a dog do this.  


Welcome to June!!!




What's Going on in June, 2012:
June has several special "Month" designations:
Aquarium Month
Candy Month
Dairy Month
Fight the Filthy Fly Month
Gay Pride Month
National Accordion Awareness Month
National Adopt a Cat Month
National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
Rose Month
Turkey Lovers Month

Special Days and Holidays in June:
1 Dare Day
1 Flip a Coin Da
2 National Bubba Day
1 National Doughnut Day
2 National Rocky Road Day
3 Repeat Day
4 Applesauce Cake Day
4 Hug Your Cat Day
4 Old Maid's Day
5 World Environment Day
6 National Gardening Exercise Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
8 Best Friends Day
8 Name Your Poison Day
9 Donald Duck Day
10 Iced Tea Day
11 Hug Holiday
12 Red Rose Day
13 Sewing Machine Day
14 Flag Day
15 Smile Power Day
16 Fresh Veggies Day
16 Nursing Assistants Day
16 National Hollerin' Contest Day
16 World Juggler's Day
17 Eat Your Vegetables Day
17 Father's Day
18 Go Fishing Day
18 International Panic Day
18 National Splurge Day
19 World Sauntering Day
19 Father's Day
20 Finally Summer Day- Summer Solstice
20 Ice Cream Soda Day
21 Go Skate Day
22 National Chocolate Eclair Day
23 National Columnists Day
23 National Pink Day
23 Take Your Dog to Work Day
24 Swim a Lap Day
25 Log Cabin Day
25 National Catfish Day
26 Beautician's Day
26 Forgiveness Day
27 Sun Glasses Day
28 Insurance Awareness Day
28 Paul Bunyan Day
29 Camera Day
29 Hug Holiday
29 Waffle Iron Day
30 Meteor Day

AWKWARD SITUATIONS IN WHICH IT WOULD BE "OK" TO MESS WITH TEXAS

Not sure where I got this; it has been on my hard drive for a couple of years.

AWKWARD SITUATIONS IN WHICH IT WOULD BE "OK" TO MESS WITH TEXAS.
  • Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.
  • Texas partied too late, asks to copy your homework.
  • Texas asks if it would be “cool to hook up with your ex.”
  • Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.
  • Texas steals the remote just before Lost.
  • Texas demonstrates little respect for “personal space.”
  • Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you’ve been hiding in the back of the pantry.
  • Texas needs you to cover rent “just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear.”
  • Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy.

Not a Problem

I know my lips wouldn't want to touch yours either!  So we have come to a mutual agreement...



Friday, June 1, 2012

2 of My Favorites - Smirnoff and Boobs

This reminds me of last night.  A Little too much partying on 6th Street led to an after-party that lasted until 6 AM.  There was a lot of Smirnoff involved throughout the whole evening!  Some boobage too...

--Enrique Santos

Snookie - Pregnant and Still Looking Like a Tramp

For those of you who thought Pregnancy might make Snookie Grow-Up, I would say you are wrong!  Just look at her fashion sense.  It has actually gotten worse.  She looks like a Pregnant Monster.

Snooki, You sicken and disgust me!  I feel sorry for your little boy...

Would Anyone Ever Buy These?

On Sale at Wal Mart; Hamburger and Hot Dog T-Shirts!   I know it is summer and time to fire up the grill, but who the hell would buy one of these ugly T-Shirts!!!

Pablo Picasso - Guernica in 3D

Found this while browsing YouTube.  This is pretty cool.  It is a 3D rendering of Picasso's famous painting "Guernica."


For those of you who are not into Picasso or Spanish Art, Guernica is a painting by Pablo Picasso, depicting the bombing of Guernica in the Basque Country.  The bombing was carried out by German and Italian warplanes at the request of the Spanish Nationalist forces, on April 26, 1937, during the Spanish Civil War.

Guernica shows the tragedies of war and the suffering it inflicts upon individuals, particularly innocent civilians. This work has gained a monumental status, becoming a perpetual reminder of the tragedies of war, an anti-war symbol, and an embodiment of peace. Guernica in 3D was created by art student Lena Gieseke from the University of Georgia, USA.



Even if you are not a big art fan, the 3D rendering of Guernica is pretty impressive.  


Could Einstein Have Been Wrong?

At least someone thinks so.  That someone is a 12 year-old Boy Genius.  According to a Time magazine article, this kid thinks he can prove Einstein and his Theory of Relativity Wrong.    Click to read the entire article:
12-Year-Old Genius Expands Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Thinks He Can Prove It Wrong

Could Einstein's Theory of Relativity be a few mathematical equations away from being disproved? Jacob Barnett of Hamilton County, Ind., who is just weeks shy of his 13th birthday, thinks so. And, he's got the solutions to prove it.

Barnett, who has an IQ of 170, explained his expanded theory of relativity — in a YouTube video. His mother Kristine Barnett, who admittedly flunked math, did what every other mother would do if her genius son started talking mathematical gibberish. She told him to explain the whole thing slowly while she taped her son explaining his take on the theory.
Can't wait to see if the kid can do it!  Take that Sheldon Cooper!!!

Free Advice Friday -Learn To Use Toothpaste the Right Way

I was over at a buddies house this week.  Dropped him off after a round of golf and I had to poop real bad, so I asked him if I could use his bathroom.  Being the nice friend that he is, he said "No Prob!"  


I get in to Rick's bathroom and I see this tube of toothpaste lying on the Kitchen counter by the sink. I am not sure if it was him or his wife, but I hate when someone uses toothpaste like this... 




Does anyone else hate it when someone does this? You're either one of these people or you ain't... 

Can we not just get the Crest people and all the other Toothpaste companies to put a big label on their tubes of toothpaste that reads "For best results squeeze at the end of the tube".  Is that too much to ask?





Summertime and Water Parks


Facebook Poses - Bingo Edition

This guy decided to make a game out of facebook poses.  He shot himself making all of the stupid poses we see all too often on facebook.  Print off the pic and you and your friends can scour facebook looking for the poses.  First one to fill their card wins!!!

Erin Heatherton Will Make Grown Ups 2 Bearable



Coming out in early 2013 is Grown Ups 2. Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and David Spade will all be there for the sequel. Alot of sequels nowadays are pretty lame and when I first heard they were shooting it, I immediately thought this would be another lame-o. I had no desire to see it. Then I found out that Victoria's Secret Angel Erin Heatherton is in the movie. And she is wearing a cheerleader's outifit. And she is washing a car. And she gets all Soapy. I am in!!! Erin is a beauty! Leo DiCaprio is a lucky guy!
Check her out in her latest (and very hot) Victoria's Secret Commercial

For more pics from Grown Ups 2 head over to Celebrity-Gossip.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

This is Kind of Scary--In a Sexy Way!!

This Hottie crushes Watermelons between her thighs!! I have mixed feelings on this one. Kind of sexy, yet scary. If she got pissed at ya and put you in a leg lock, it is over!!!

On another note, thinks she gets turned on with a Watermelon between her legs?

How Come I Have Never Seen Anything Like This On The Subway!


For All You "Game of Thrones" Fans


Sexy Samsung Motion TV Commercial

And Funny Too!

Thanks Cosmo!


I was at the Dentist this week waiting for my routine check-up and cleaning.  There were no decent magazines so I picked up a Cosmo.  I know it is a Chick Magazine, but they always have some hotties in there and some cool articles on Sex from a Woman's perspective.  I came across an article about using things around the house to spice up your sex life.  This was one of them:


WOW!  Donuts wrapped around your penis for oral sex.  I like it!  I would have to have a decent sized hole (LOL!!!)  but I really like this idea.  Cosmo, you are an alright Mag!  I just hope your readers really do try out the things you suggest.  This is a winner.

P.S. -- Ladies, glazed donuts work great, but I would also like to try something with a Jelly filled center...Just saying!

Gotta Love West Campus @ University of Texas

For those of you who do not know Austin, Texas or the University of Texas, it is a pretty liberal place.  I graduate from UT and there was always a spot on campus where all the crazy people and not-so-crazy people gathered to debate, protest, circulate petitions or just be seen.  That place was West Campus.  Right next to the Drag (Guadalupe St.) and in front of the PCL (Perry Castaneda Library) and the Union.  That was always the place where you could see people arguing with each other over politics, religion, and other burning issues of the day.  I got this pic recently on West Campus, right in front of the PCL.  Seems like a conservative Christian Group was protesting Pornography and this guy quickly made a sign up and joined the protest.  Hilarious!



-- Enrique Santos

Hilarious Aussie Ford Commercial - Cane Toads




Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Penis Bread

Weird title for a Post, Right?  I am sure you will agree that this loaf of bread looks like a penis.  It was made at a local bakery here in Austin. A Friend of mine works there and she had to get a pic of it. She wanted to take it home, but they actually bagged it and sold it.  I wonder if the person who bought it saw what it looked like or just grabbed a random loaf!

--Enrique Santos

Surra do Bunda -- Weird New Dance Craze in Brazil

DUDE!  What the Hell is this?  This is from a Brazilian Game show.  Or something like that.  Apparently, it is a type of dance that is called "Surra do Bunda".  Looks pretty much like one of two things:
a.  Oral sex with the panties on
b.  A woman assaulting a man with her Va-Jay-Jay!!!



I like wild, crazy and kinky, but not when it could lead to whiplash or a broken nose!

The Boob Clamp-Stupid Idea but a Great Advertisement


This is a weird product -- BodyGeeks presents the “Boob Clamp”.
 The entire ad for this strange product is in Chinese, but in between the breast squeezing and laser sound effects (including a cool "power-up"), this product appears to make your body look skinnier, suck fat from your belly into your breasts, stimulate breast growth and even tone your ass.  And all without any Plastic Surgery!!!
Things like these are two sided.  Sure they make you look bustier and slimmer, but what is going to happen when you get home with the guy you met at the bar and have to take the thing off.  First off, most guys wouldn't even know how to take the thing off.  I am used to the hook, which I can unhook in a matter of seconds.  Secondly, what is going to happen when you reveal your unclamped boobs for your lover to see?  Is he going to be disappointed, confused...Or maybe he will be drunk enough he won't care.  Of course reality would set in the next morning (unless you put the uncomfortable thing back on after sex).

I just don't get it.  I mean women, and men for that matter, go to all this trouble to keep their stomachs in, look bustier, have a bigger ass or broader shoulders, etc.  Doesn't everyone realize that when it is time to get busy, the real you is going to show!  Sure, many guys and girls won't care, but there are also many who will care.  I guess I can understand all the boob jobs and surgeries.  At least that is there all the time, not just temporarily while you are out at the bars!

My final question is:   Why aren’t all advertisements like this?



Low Jeans and High Thongs!


I LOVE THONGS!!!! VIVA LA THONG!!!! But there is one way to ruin the thong. I have never liked the girls that wear those low, low cut jeans and then pull their thong up so you see about 4 inches of thong. It is even worse when they push down the low cut jeans another couple of inches. Come on!!! The magic of the thong is in catching a glimpse of it. Part of what makes thong watching fun is when some chick bends over to pick something up and there it is, the thong!! It appears for a second, then it is gone again. Or maybe when a girl is wearing some tight workout shorts and you can see the outline of the thong underneath. Or a girl wearing jeans and the top of the thong is barely visible. This is excitement. This is what the Thong is all about. Anyway, you get my point. I did find a pic of a girl that found a way to get around the low jeans/high thongs delimma.


I think that is a good and acceptable option. If you aren't gonna wear a thong, don't wear anything at all!!




The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody Trailer

Another Porn Parody.  We have already introduced you to the "Family Guy Porn Parody" and "The Three Stooges Porn Parody"  Now, I present to You "The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody" (The trailer is Safe For Work)

I can only imagine that this movie is kind of like an orgy starring Earth's Mightiest Heroes.  And former wrestler and Reality Show/Celebrity Rehab star Chyna is in it.  She plays the She-Hulk. 


Scrabble


Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body
which is even more useful when erect.
P N E S I
People who wrote SPINE became doctors… The rest are all my friends…

Words To Live By...

...and the tattoo isn't bad either!

Live Beautifully, Love Completely
--Enrique Santos

That is Disgusting Julie!


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Summer Is Here!!!

As Nelly sang: It’s getting hot in here … oh, I’ll let you fill in the rest. Summer is  upon us, my friends, and there are many reasons to rejoice for the warm rays. The most important reason is that as the weather goes up, the amount of clothing pretty ladies need goes down. That’s an equation I can get into.

Summer means two things, Water and Bikinis! Whether you live in a coastal state with a beach, or a land-locked state (like me), there will always be plenty of water around.  Lakes, Pools, Rivers, Waterparks, Beaches, etc.  All of these areas are the parade grounds for hot women who want to get outside and showcase the bodies they’ve been working on all winter. Ladies, suit up, head out, get wet. Nuff said.






The Reason I Lived Alone for So Long


For one semester back in college I was sure I’d be the first man killed by a psychotic sleep walker. I had two roommates, James and Gabe. James was never around. He paid his rent, but his girlfriend had a place of her own paid for by Daddy Big Bucks. Gabe was always fucking there. The Dude had no other place to be. He had a blonde afro the size of Epcot Center, and it was on purpose. He had it permed every couple of months. Even had a mustache like Magnum P.I. But he paid his share of the rent and managed to make the preppy/redneck style look good and that was all I cared about.


I was up flipping channels on the TV at 2:00 one morning when I heard his shower come on. I thought it was odd that he’d get up in the middle of the night to shower, but maybe he’d been spanking the monkey and forgotten to use a sock or tissues to avoid the mess. It happens. He got up at 6:00 and showered again. I asked him why his ass had to use up all the hot water when he’d just showered a few hours before. He said I was full of shit. Why would he get up in the middle of the night to take a shower?

Whatever, bro.

A few weeks later I was up again watching TV when I heard shouting. Gabe’s door flung open so hard it hit the wall and he ran into the living room screaming. “He’s in my bed! He’s in my bed!”

Bullshit. Who in the hell would get into Gabe’s bed? He stood in the corner, whining and shaking his left arm with his right hand. Crazy bastard. I reached around the wall and flipped the light switch without going in, just in case he wasn’t out of his goddamned mind after all, but when I looked in there was nothing but a pile of crumpled sheets.
“Dude, there’s nobody in here.”

“I felt him, I felt him! I touched his arm.”

To this day, I believe that he had fallen asleep on his arm, it went numb, and he touched his own hand thinking it belonged to another man in his bed. By morning, Gabe had no recollection of the entire thing.

The day Gabe brought a 9mm back to the apartment I nearly shit my pants. “What in the – Fuck no! Uh uh, no, bitch. Take that shit out of here.” Gabe was going through his gangsta phase. Listening to NWA, drinking 40’s, and trying to be a gangbanger.

He said he needed it for his protection. He was starting to run with a rough crowd.

“Protection from what? You're the weirdest fucker in the whole complex" I said.

He insisted he needed the gun for his safety. He put it in his nightstand in his bedroom and told me where I could find it if I ever needed it. Yeah, when hell freezes over.

A few days later it was just after midnight when Gabe’s door creaked open. I looked up and saw four fingers, an eye and part of a ‘fro showing through the narrow gap in the doorway. The eyeball started roaming all around the room, not looking at anything in particular, then it and the ‘fro slowly disappeared behind the door, the fingers slipped back inside, and the door closed gently.

I went to my bedroom, locked the door, and didn’t come out until the sun was up. The next morning, Gabe and I had a long talk. I told him it was either him or I. One of us had to go. I knew damn well he couldn’t afford to split the rent two ways. He got on the phone, made a few calls. I went to class and when I got home, he was gone. He had cleared out his clothes, but left all of his other personal shit. CD’s, books, notebooks, his walkman, etc were all still there. I waited weeks for him to come back for the stuff, but I never saw him again. He was gone. Mr. Gabe had a new place to live. I learned that he dropped out of school later that week and no one knew where he went. His parents called to talk to him about 2 weeks after he left. They had no clue that he had moved out. To this day, I am not sure what happened. He could be dead for all I know. Maybe somebody was after him. All I know is that he was a crazy motherfucker!!

After him, I lived alone for about 12 years. Sure, I would have girls spend the night sometimes, maybe even a week or two, but I never really moved in with anyone long-term for a good while. One weird psycho roommate is enough.

This Will Blow Your Mind!


Selenophobia

No, it is not the fear of Selena -- She is dead anyways so she can't hurt you. It is one of the stranger phobias I have read about.   Selenophobia is the fear of the moon.


REALLY!  Afraid of the moon?  The moon is like 240,000 miles away from us.  How can you be afraid of something so far away?  I just don't get this one!

Our Favorite Bikinis -- Bow Tie Bikini

It's Summertime and I love it!  Babes, Bikinis and Beer!  Going to the lake, grilling on the back porch, camping...That is what summertime is all about.  Did I mention Bikinis?  Here at Ramblings of a Semi-Madman, we are starting a new feature that will last all summer long.  It is called "Our Favorite Bikinis"  All summer long, we will be posting pics of our favorite bikinis.

I know what you are thinking!  You think this is just a reason for us to post pics of hotties.  Well, You are right to some extent.  We will be posting pics of hotties, but there is a criteria they have to cover.  They have to be wearing a unique and cool bikini.  Not your basic, two-piece.  It has to be flashy.  

So let's begin!  Here is our first hottie, BIKINI.  I like the bow tie.  That is the only reason I choose this one.  A Bow Tie on a Bikini - That is Classy!  




Check Out All of Our Favorite Bikinis

The IRistocrats, Siri and John Malkovich

John Malkovich wants to test his new IPhone and Siri out, so he asks her to tell a joke.  She ends up telling the IPhone version of the Aristocrats Joke.

Enrique Is In The House!

HI everyone!  My name is Enrique Santos and Matt has been kind enough to invite me to become a regular contributor to "Ramblings of a Semi-Madman"  It is fitting since I am kind of "mad", so this blog will be a perfect fit!
A little bit about me:
Matt and I have been friends since our days at the University of Texas.  We met our Freshman year and have been friends ever since.  We have shared many adventures together.  Remember the "Broken Hand" ?  Well I was one of the guys partying with him that night! I am sure we will share many, many other wild and crazy stories!

I graduated from UT (Go Horns!) with a Business Administration degree, then decided to go to Law School.  I was a lawyer for a firm for several years, but recently I decided to go into business for myself.  I do business consultation and I still practice Law for a few select clients.  I love working for myself.

If you want to know more about me, you can find me on these fine social media sites:
Twitter:  @espleasure  -- https://twitter.com/#!/espleasure
Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002979275870
Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/113992411865165462639/posts

I will be blogging about everything.  My favorite topics are women, sex and sports, but I will diversify some...

That is all for now.  I have plenty of free time, so I will be blogging on a regular basis.  Let me know what you think! 

My Thoughts on the World Cups in Russia and Qatar

I love soccer.  I played it, coached it and watch it as often as I can.   Russia won the bid to host the 2018 World Cup. They beat out competing bids from Belgium/Netherlands, England, and Portugal/Spain. I have no problem with this decision.  As a matter of fact, I think it was kind of expected.  Russia is becoming a major player in both international soccer and European Club soccer.  It is a big country, with tons of Soccer fans and a fast-growing economy.  It was a matter of time before Russia got a chance to host a world cup.  Congratulations to Russia. 

But Qatar winning the bid to host the 2022 Cup is a shocker!  Only 1.7 million people live in that tiny country.  I guess money can buy just about anything.  It is pne of the wealthiest countries in the world (per capita).   Yet it is still tiny.  It is the 164th largest country in the world.  How many soccer stadiums are there?  And how many of them can hold 60 or 80,000 people.  Remember, the World Cup usually plays games in at least 10 to 12 stadiums.  And what about Qatar's tourist infrastructure?  Do they have enough hotels?  Transportation?  Restaurants?  What about the liquor?  I have been to two World Cups and I know that it is a HUGE PARTY!  That is half the fun of the World Cup.  It is the World's largest party?  Do they even allow liquor in the country? 

Qatar defeated bids from the US, Japan, South Korea, and Australia.  Now I am not saying that the US should have won the bid, although I would have loved it to happen since I live here and could go to a few games.  I actually thought Australia had a pretty good shot at winning. 

I know that FIFA wants to expand the Global Game of Futbol to other parts of the world, areas that are not traditional football powers.  That is why they choose Korea and Japan a few cups back and why South Africa got it this year.  But Qatar? This sounds crazy!  Maybe there is some weird secret deal and some other country is going to step up and co-host it.  Maybe all the Arabian peninsula countries will host a few games.  I have no idea. 

And what about the weather? June and July in Qatar see average daily temperatures surpass 110 degrees. And for night games, the country has an average LOW temperature of 87 degrees.  Can you say Heat Stroke?  For the players, coaches and fans. 

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Qatar.  I have a couple of friends who are from Qatar.  They are great and they say nothing but good things about the country, but even they were a little surprised that they will be playing host to the 2022 World Cup.

Like I stated earlier, Money can buy alot.  I have no doubt that some of that Oil money came into play in this decision.

Monday, May 28, 2012

A Triangle Never Looked so Good!


Things To Do Before I Die

I am starting another new feature here on "Ramblings of a Semi-Madman"  My Bucketlist.  I will, from-time-to-time, list some things I want to do before I die.  Let's start simple.  Here is my first entry on Matt's Bucketlist:

Wear this Dora Mask to the Drug Store and buy condoms while wearing it

That is just weird!  Imagine the cashier seeing a guy coming up to the counter with a box of condoms and maybe even some Lube.  I wonder if they would get the manager, call the cops...?  I could just say that I live around here and want to hide my identity.  

Now, I have to find the Mask!  If anyone has seen these in the Des Moines area, let me know

Bikini-Clad Dancer Fail!

This hottie makes a Big Thud!!! Looks Painful, but I was still LMFAO!

The Most Depressing Commercial...Ever!

I saw this commercial again today!

I hate it. It isn't that I hate animals, I just hate the commercial. You can be watching the funniest show in the world and you end up feeling like crap and pissed off at the world after seeing this commercial.

And The worse thing is that the commercial is 2 minutes long and not 30 or less like normal commercials.  90 seconds of sadness and "Bring-me-down" time.   Here is the commercial:

Everyone hates watching these poor animals looking all sick and sad and anytime we hear that song I cringe a little and (I am man enough to admit it) I get choked up a little too.

Since I posted this pic I might as well link to ASPCA.org where you can help.  Help those poor animals.  If we all start helping and save these animals, then they won't need to make these depressing commercials!

Reasons I Scrub My Balls Every Morning

Every guy hopes for the unexpected BJ and this is something that runs through our crazy guy minds while we are washing our balls... 

This is actually the reason we take a shower at night before we go out again... 

You Never Know!!!

The Broken Hand

This happened to me while I was in college at the University of Texas.  I remember the pain as if it were yesterday!

I was partying it up at the bar, and needless to say I was pretty blasted.  Apparentely I punched a chair and then tried to karate chop a pool table....later on in the evening I somehow made it home. I have no idea how.

I wake up in the morning with my hand just throbbing and feeling like it is shattered!! I look at my hand only to find a sock over my hand with a clenched fist and duct tape wrapped up to my elbow as a make shift cast!! Don't remember doing this, but it gets better! So I get up to go to the can and find my clothes all over the floor on the way to the washroom and in the hallway there is a bag of pita bread! Where the hell do you get a bag of pita bread at 3 in the morning!! So I decide to go to the hospital and have my hand looked at. I get dressed and head out to my car. It isnt out there. I lived in an apartment complex so I start walking all over the parking lot to find the car, but no luck. I say screw it and I take the bus to the hospital. People are staring at me since I have a sock with duct tape on me and I look like death!!! I finally make it to the hospital and my hand is broken in two places. They put the cast on, I call my friends to pick me up and we go back to the place of the party and find my car. A fun night that I don't remember!

I have had many of these nights!  Oh the stories I will be sharing with you on this blog!!!

Schoolhouse Rock - Obama Style


This is hilarious.  It is the "Bill" episode of the 1970's Classic educational Cartoon series "Schoolhouse Rock".  This is the updated version of the lyrics to the song for the Barack Obama Era.

Happy Memorial Day!!!



Happy Memorial Day Everyone!!!  A day of rest, relaxation and rememberance. 

My plan for the day:

Blog until 10 AM or so (It's 9:15 right now, so I am almost done), then eat, then do some yardwork, then go to the lake, crack open a few beers and grill some burgers.  Looks like a beautiful day. 

Have a great Day!!!


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