Saturday, September 1, 2012

Celebrity Charity Breast Squeeze




 “Erotica will Save the World” was a 24-hour live-streamed fundraising event that took place last Saturday and Sunday (August 25-26) in Tokyo, Japan. The most popular attraction was the “Breast Fundraiser”, which encouraged people to donate to charity, in this fashion:
1. Line up, have your ID checked (must be over 18)
2. Donate money
3. Sterilize your hands (they don’t know where they have been)
4. Squeeze breasts 

Damn!  I can't believe I missed this event!

Boise St. Cheerleaders Laughs at Being Tackled

A Boise St. Cheerleader got tackled on the Sidelines last night during their game against Michigan St.  The Cheerleader wasn't hurt.  On the contrary, she found it hilarious!

The Sexy Female Athletes of the London Games!

The Olympics may be over, but the memories will always be there.  Specifically, the memories of the record number of Olympic Female Athletes that fit into the "Hotties" and "Babes" category!
Here is a video celebrating all of these beautiful Olympians.  Enjoy!

Conan O'Brien on Snooki


Carlton Draught Beer Commercial is Great!

They should have saved this one for the Super Bowl!

Happy Birthday - Salma Hayek



















One of my favorite Mexican Actresses is celebrating a birthday today.  That is right, Salma Hayek is 46 years old.  She is still looking good for approaching 50.  ¡Feliz Cumplea├▒os!

If you are a baseball fan, It would suck to live in Turner, Montana.

Turner, Montana -- The most remote place in the US when it comes to pro sports!!



Just in Case you Missed it - Eastwood-ing

Thursday night, was the grand finale of the Republican National Convention, the Republicans unleashed their secret weapon, 82 year old Hollywood icon, Clint Eastwood. The actor, who was supposed to get the crowd fired up before presidential candidate Mitt Romney took the stage, ended up stealing the show.

Unfortunately for Romney, Eastwood’s speech is all that anyone has been talking about over the past two days. Clint’s speech did get the crowd going and it was memorable because of an improv where he spoke to an imaginary Barack Obama on stage.

If you didn’t watch, or you’ve been under that rock of yours, here’s the video.


Republicans, and anyone else anti-Obama, seemed to unanimously enjoy the jabs at the president, while the liberal Democrats made fun of Eastwood for being old and talking to a chair.  That was all the Democrats could come up with?  That is all I heard on Liberal talk shows yesterday.  They were ripping Eastwood because he is in his 80's and talked to a chair!  They think it is silly, while most of the world things it is acting brilliance.  I thought it was an ingenious way to get his message across; at times comical and at times serious.

Let's see what the Democrats come up with.  I hope it isn't just a bunch of boring speeches ending with Obama lying at the end, promising a ton of things that he will never do during the next four years!

Way to go CLINT!!!

Happy September 1st!

September 1st is here.  YEA! or BOO! depending on your point of view.  Let's examine what September brings:

1.  Property Taxes are due.   BOO!  Double Boo when you get your property tax notice on August 29.  Thanks for the warning!!!
2.  Autumn is right around the corner.   BOO!  I like summer and hot temps.  Remember, I lived in Mexico and Texas
3.  Allergies - BOO!  Hayfever sufferers beware
4.  New Season for TV Shows - YEA!
5.  College Football begins - YEA!  HOOK 'EM HORNS!
6.  16 de Septiembre - YEA and BOO!   16 de Septiembre is Mexico's Independence Day.  YEA when I lived in Mexico because it was a big holiday full of parties and fireworks.  BOO now that I am living in Iowa because here it is just another day.  Que Triste!
7.  Rememberance of 9/11 - YEA (That we remember this dreadful day)  BOO that it happened.

Well, that is about all I can think about for September.  What does September mean to you?

Happy Birthday Dr. Phil!!!!

I see that Dr. Phil is 62 Today.  Happy Birthday Dude! 

We have had our differences over the last year, but I still respect you. Just remember - When I give my Free Friday Advice, even you pay attention.  Thanks for supporting me and I know it will be just a matter of time until you publicly acknowledge my far superior skills at helping people on your show.

And tell your buddy Oprah that I am really sorry I haven't called her back.  I just can't fit replacing her as host of her show in my busy schedule.  That and the fact she wanted it to still have "Oprah" in the title.  Sorry Oprah, but "Madman Oprah" just doesn't sound good.  I think you would agree with me Phil. 

 P.S.  Sorry I am not following you on Twitter anymore.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Rosie Jones is Hot!

WOW!  My buddy introduced me to Rosie Jones (Ok, it is only her twitter page, but ...WOW!)  She tweeted this picture today!

Rosie is a hottie British Model.  She really hasn't done much, other than look great and post some wonderful Twitter Pics!  We love you Rosie!

Who is the Hotter Carl's Jr. Girl? Kate Upton, Sara Jean Underwood or Emily Ratajkowski?

I recently posted about the Carl’s Jr commercial with Sara Jean Underwood and Emily Ratajkowski. Just in case you missed it, it is worth another look. I posted the video below.  Watch it and Then watch the Kate Upton Carl's Jr. commercial and please tell me which one is hotter. Leave your opinion in the comments. THANKS!!!  (Videos are below this incredibly sexy Kate Upton Pic!)



I Love Bimbo's.....................Bread!!!!!!


When I lived in Mexico, I saw Bimbo Signs all over the city.  Bimbo is a bread/pastries company based in Monterrey.  They sell their products all over Mexico and are now selling bread and pastries here in the US.  This picture is from Austin, Texas.  I think my favorite product of theirs were their cinnamon rolls. 

A Funny License Plate


Still More Reasons to Feel Better About Yourself

We are trying hard to make our readers feel good about themselves.  We want Self-Esteem to reach new record levels here on this blog.  In case you missed the first two installments of this series of life changing posts, please check them out.  Here's the First and here is the second!  The more you view, the higher your self-esteem becomes!

1. You never have, or never will, be on Judge Judy for Throwing a Pine Cone (unless little Brandon is reading)

2.  Your First Kiss wasn't shown all over the world on a TV show that made everyone know you were a Virgin!

3.  You don't have a tattoo of Adam Duritz on your back


4.  You Will Never Be a Kardashian!!!





There are actually Songs about Iowa???

I was surprised to learn that someone actually sat down and wrote songs about Iowa.  A friend of mine sent me these after I was bragging about all of the songs that have been written about Texas.  Thanks to Kevin F. for sending me these, although I do not think these songs are quite as popular as the Texas songs.

Maybe someone needs to come up with a chartbusting song about Iowa.  It can be about corn, beans, snow, ice, mud, car/deer accidents and hayfever

To the tune of “Tannenbaum”


You asked what land I love the best, Iowa, tis Iowa,
The fairest State of all the west, Iowa, O! Iowa,
From yonder Misissippi’s stream
To where Missouri’s waters gleam
O! fair it is as poet’s dream, Iowa, in Iowa.

See yonders fields of tasseled corn, Iowa in Iowa,
Where plenty fills her golden horn, Iowa in Iowa,
See how her wonderous praries shine.
To yonder sunset’s purpling line,
O! happy land, O! land of mine, Iowa, O! Iowa.




Another one we sang in Elem. school…just the chorus!




We’re from I-O-way, I-O-way.
State of all the land,
Joy on ev-’ry hand.
We’re from I-O-way, I-O-way.
That’s where the tall corn grows!

The First Day of School

As many of you know, I used to be a High School Teacher.  I had a blog chronicling my High School Teaching days.  I still have a ton of those posts and I repost them from time to time on here.  Here is one that I wrote on the first day of classes for the 2008-09 school year.  Enjoy!

BTW - I am SOOO glad I am not teaching High School anymore!


Top Ten Memorable Moments from the First Day of School
Today was our first day of school, and if you've ever read Harry Wong's "The First Day of School," then you know that it's best when everything is planned out in advance, and there are no major surprises. This would be pretty much the total opposite of my school's first day of school. Also, you may be giggling at the name Harry Wong right now.

Our day was actually full of chaos and mayhem and unexpectedness. Instead of just narrating the day, I thought I'd pick out the top 10 moments and express them in list form.

10) Having people walk in and out of my classroom all day long to check out the air conditioner. The motor was working all day long, and if you held your hand 2 inches from the vent, it appeared to be blowing out cold air, yet the classroom remained at 85 degrees. I'm not really sure why the 2 guys inspecting it were wearing hard hats, but I guess there's no such thing as TOO safe?

9) I was able to offload a few handfuls of my leftover wedding M&Ms before classes began. My morning duty was monitoring the 3rd grade hallway, so I told the kids that I would give a few M&Ms to each student in the quietest class. There were two classes that I figured this would make no impression on whatsoever, and I was right about them. But the other four classes WERE very quiet, which was especially great seeing as how it was the first day, and they didn't know the usual routine. The class who won never asked me who "John and Tamara" were, or what was special about "July 2, 2010." They just shoved the candies in their mouths.

8) Despite the district going to a computerized attendance system, we learned in our meeting after school today (yes, a meeting after school -- memorable moment 8.5) that we would still need to turn in a folder with a headcount each day. We are to a paperless system what Hummers are to Green cars.

7) Getting called out of the 3:15 meeting to meet with a parent who didn't know where her child was. This boy was not supposed to get on a bus, yet he may have, instead of going to parent pick up. The lady eventually went home to see if he was there, and I never heard anything more, so I am assuming she found him. We'll know for sure tomorrow.

6) One of my students from last year coming up to me after school and giving me a hug. I am sorry to admit that I did not remember her name (I remembered it later), but it was nice to see her.

5) After-school bus duty was hectic and hot. It was about 104 degrees outside, and I was out there for about 20 minutes, due to several missing kids. The kids were finally found, but my buses were the last to leave, and I probably lost about 10 pounds through sweat. Also, there are usually 6 faculty members monitoring the first two buses, but today my buddy Ed U Cater and I were the only 2 out there between both buses. Not sure what happened to the others, but I have a feeling it had something to do with our bus duty never being officially announced.

4) The cafeteria ceiling collapsing. We were told to have lunch with the kids in the classroom, and things were delayed for a while, but I didn't find out until a little later the reason why. It seems a few sections of the ceiling fell (leak? gas? bigfoot?), narrowly missing one class of students.

3) The announcement at 2:55 that "the brother or sister of so-and-so needs to go to room 202 to pick up so-and-so." Turns out that the sister (cousin, really) was in my class, and that earlier, I had needed to send her to the office with a message. And she hadn't known where the office was, so I had to send another student with her. Yet here she was, being asked to find a room on the second floor, in the 5th grade wing. Thankfully, at that time, the 5th graders were walking by on their way out to the buses, so I snagged one and sent my student with her.

2) The teacher break room now looks like a high-scale Starbucks. There are fancy tables and chairs, the walls are bright colors, complete with trim, and the lighting is soft. It's good to know that I may not have working air conditioning in my room, the hallways were just painted last week, and our cafeteria may need to be condemned, but at least I can have lunch in style. Priorities.

1) My kids. It would appear that I have a really good group of kids this year. There were several on both rosters that did not show up, but of those who did, there were only a couple that gave me any problems today. One kid fell asleep, and a few others couldn't stop talking and playing. But other than that, they listened, they did what they asked, and when we did a fact family triangle, they completed the fact family with little trouble. I hope this trend continues

Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Oregon Ducks' Cheerleaders - In Bikinis!!!

I really don't need to say too much here, other than they have some mighty fine Ducks in Oregon!!!


Sexy Self-Pic Fail

Maybe we can ask her little one How Mommy's Ass Looks?

Open Letter to Tostitos and their "Scoops"

Dear Tostitos Scoops,

Sorry guys.  I know you are probably wondering why I am writing this now.  After all, you guys have had these things on the market for a couple of years.  I just want to say thank you.  Whenever I eat my wife's  delicious homemade salsa, I have to have the Scoops!  If there are no scoops in the house, I get a little sad.  My wife notices and thinks it is because I don't like her current batch of salsa and then bad things happen.  I get glares and bad looks.  I have to have the Scoops!  When I have the Scoops, everything is right at my house, not to mention the outside world (OK, maybe I am going a little too far, we have earthquakes, tsunamis, violent crime, etc.) but things are good in our house!  My kids love the scoops too! 

With you scoops, I know that all the salsa or cheese dip is going to get to its rightful destination (my mouth and ultimately my stomach).  It is perfection.  No Mess!  And your shape looks like a cradle that would be used to rock a baby to bed.  You have to like that! 

Thank you Scoops and I have one request -- Could you please send me a year's supply?  I will advertise your scoops on my blog daily :) 

Keep On Scooping,
THE MADMAN, A Scooping Lover!

The Bum Bum Song

Remember Tom Green?  One-time Drew Barrymore Love? The guy with one Testicle?  He actually is pretty funny.  I haven't seen much of him lately.  I see that his movie "Freddy Got Fingered" is on TV tonight.  I may have to sit down and watch it.  Not the greatest movie, but there are some parts in there that make laugh my ass off!

Until the movie starts, here is the full version of Tom Green's "The Bum Bum Song"

Genital Penile Reconstructive Surgery - Phalloplasty


This kid has not penis, but he will get one soon
thanks to phalloplasty!
Poor Luis Canelos!  He accidentally  destroyed his penis when he was 9. He shot it off with a rifle. Now he is 17 and Miami doctors are going to rebuild it. (Does this sound familiar?  Think John Wayne Bobbitt)

WOW!!  We now have the technology to rebuild a penis, one that is functioning in both the peeing and sex departments!  Hooray for Science!

The procedure, known a phalloplasty, will build a new penis for Luis using a fibular bone from a cadaver (He is going to have a deadman's bone in his dick!) with the hope that he will have a fully functioning penis when the operation is done – and even be able to father children.

$50,000 later, he should be able to. And that's just great. More kids living in a straw hut.

Only in Iowa...

The Joys of Iowa...
'Nuff Said!!!

Evander Holyfield - That is one funny tweet!

I would nominate this tweet by boxer Evander Holyfield for "Tweet of the Year"
And here is the pic from the tweet:

And for those who have no clue what I am talking about, here is a picture of Mike Tyson:

That's some funny Shit!

Murphy's Laws of Teaching

As a former classroom teacher, I know that there are many, many things that can go wrong in the classroom.  No matter how much you plan for a class, things happen.  Fire Drills, students getting sick, fights in the classroom, crying students, etc. are all incidents that teacher have to deal with.  I found a site that lists Murphy's Laws of Teaching.  It is worth a look whether you are a teacher or not.  See how many of these have happened to you.

Here is the site:  http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-teaching.html

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Shake That Moneymaker!!!


WOW!!!  Can Butts Get Whiplash?

A Paperweight or...?

I think this father has a shock coming to him when he finds out what it really is!

FOUND!! RofSMM Favorite Melanie Iglesias Video from 2010

As many of you know by now, Melanie Iglesias is a favorite here at Ramblings of a Semi-Madman!  She is one of the Hottest Women I have ever seen.  We have featured her a couple of times on this blog:
--The Cheeseburger Challenge with Fellow Hottie Lisa Ramos
--Melanie Iglesias Hula Hoop Video in a Sexy Bikini

We all have a major crush on her and have invited her to spend some time with us (We haven't heard back yet, but we know she is busy)

While we wait, enjoy this video of Melanie Iglesias back when she was a finalist for Maxim's Hometown Hottie Contest

Step Brothers -- Movie Review

This movie was on one of the movie channels last night so we watched a part of it.  Unfortunately, the kids were up and wouldn't leave us alone so we had to turn it when the cussing started.  I have seen this movie in its entirety twice before and I love this movie.  It is hillarious.  My wife likes it to and can't stop laughing.  Are we in the minority?  I don't understand why so many people thought this movie stunk up the place. 

Step Brothers (2008) was massacred in the press and in public by the average Joe Moviegoer. When it came out, the majority of people that I talked to said that it was horrible and not worth spending the money to see it.

The Critics were just as negative:

Roger Ebert from the Chicago Sun Times gave it one and a half stars, said it was too mean-spirited, and the characters swore too much for his liking.

Peter Travers from Rolling Stone gave it two and a half stars, and he said that while much of it is gut-busting funny, some parts are "funny not so much."   Let me get this straight, the movie busts your gut from laughing so much but there are a few small parts of it that do not work, so it deserves only two and a half stars?  Is that out of three?  I mean it is a comedy movie, isn't it supposed to make you laugh?  Sorry Peter, but you messed up on this one. 

I disagree with the majority.  It is a hilarious movie and I give it a 7 out of 10.  Check it out, it is worth it.

Coco Has Some Interesting Twitter Pics


COCO is the big ass and big titted wife of Rapper and actor Ice-T.  She likes to tweet skanky pics of her body on twitter.  Here are a few:





Now I am not a huge Coco Fan, but I do admire her.  She does not have to tweet all these pics of her boobs and her big ass all over the Twitterverse, but she does.  She does it because she wants to and that is cool.

Maybe she just can't get the stripper out of her.  What is the old saying?, "Once a Stripper, Always a Stripper".  She also loves the attention.  She is kind of a Media Whore, although not as annoying as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.  Coco does it with some class and fun, not in an annoying way like the other two.

And I also admire the fact that she shows off her body, even though it is not the tight, hot body she had years ago.  You have to admit, her ass is getting a little saggy in places.  And she is putting on some weight now.  But she still posts these pics.  I follow her on twitter just to see what crazy pic she is going to post next. 

My advice to all the ladies out there --
Follow Coco’s Lead!  Don't be shy, post those pics on Twitter.  

--Enrique Santos

Weird - Corey Feldman Singing on the Howard Stern Show in 1992- We have Video!

Here is a weird as hell video of Corey Feldman on a televised Howard Stern TV show  I guess in the early 90's, Corey attempted to become a pop singer.  The video is awkward and weird (Did I say that already?)  I think he is trying to be way too much like Michael Jackson.  (If I remember correctly, Feldman was one of the boys that had to testify against MJ in his child molestation case).

A Bald Howard Stern kind of steals the show if you ask me.

The song is called "What Up With the Youth" My question is:  "What's Up with Corey Feldman?"  Thank God he realized he sucked as a Pop Singer and did not pursue that career.  Instead he pursued a career that suits him much better, Druggie and washed-up has been child star.

I Would Hate to Know This Woman

Imagine if this were your mother.  Or what if this were your wife!

Let's look at this picture:
1,  She has a donut stuffed into her mouth.  This signifies one of two things:
    a.  She loves donuts and has a donut eating problem, hence she is overweight.
    b.  She likes to have stuff in her mouth, which means she may give a good blowjob, but has probably given thousands of them in her lifetime.
2.  Related to 1b - Is the cream on her face some kind of blowjob reference?
3.  She has Nickelback written across her chest.  You have to be a little off to admit that you are a Nickelback fan in public.
4.  She has to be in her 50's or 60's, yet she is trying to act like a hot 20 year old!  Lady, you are not even a semi-attractive MILF! Give it a rest lady!

This picture was taken 3 years ago.  I would love to see what has happened to her in the past three years.  My guess is she has either become the big slut on the elderly circuit or she died of a heart attack from eating too many donuts!

More Reasons to Feel Better About Yourself

More Reasons to Feel Better About Yourself.  Let's pump up your Self-Esteem!
And  check out our first installment here

1.  Your Best Buddy is not a Tuba:

2.  You know how to spell "Ambience"

3.  If you read my blog, or have a life, you already know Beyonce and Jay-Z are married, so this will not happen to you:
4.  You Have no Reason to Protest a Fish Fry:

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