Saturday, October 27, 2012

I am Craving Late Night Tacos!

One thing I dearly miss about Monterrey, Mexico are the 24 hour taco stands.

It is about 11:30 and I am craving some tacos right now!  Maybe I should open a stand up here in West Des Moines in my neighborhood.  Just a thought.  Carry on and have a good night!

Hello Kitty Condom Holder

Seriously?  What kind of woman would be walking around with one of these in her purse?  I thought Hello Kitty Type of Ladies are all pure and innocent!  Or they are way to young to even know what a condom is!  

Ooops, I guess these pics prove me wrong:







This is a Traffic Accident Waiting to Happen


I am pretty sure I would have rear ended something...

Jenna Jameson Is Stripping Again


My Buddy Clement, who lives out in Vegas (Lucky Bastard) recently saw Jenna Jameson Stripping at the Crazy Horse Strip Club. The pics above and down near the bottom of the page are from that event.

Remember when Jenna Jameson looked like this?

DAMN, She Was so Hot!!

I remember a few years ago when Jenna announced on some talk show that she was done with the sex industry.  No more porn, stripping or anything related to it.  

Guess she couldn't turn her back on what made her a multi-millionaire.  So she is back and stripping at the Crazy Horse strip club. Her retirement didn't last too long.  That didn’t last too long. 


How I yearn for the Jenna of Old.  The one in the pic immediately above.  Jenna, you have ruined yourself with too much surgery and botox.  Why did you mess with perfection?  
Now, we are left with this:
The body isn't bad, but that face!  You have ruined your beautiful, angelic face.  I am off to mourn.  

--Enrique Santos

Rumer Willis - In a Bikini

Rumer Willis is 24 years old now!  I honestly did not know that.  I found this pic of her in a bikini at the beach and I had to ask a couple of friends if she was 18, because we would never post pics of anyone under 18 in a bikini.  We don't roll that way.  (Unless it is Jessica Simpson's Girl, we posted that pic here).

Anyway, Rumer is 24 and all grown up.  She was in Cancun last week flashing that hardbody of hers in a two-piece bathing suit.  Not bad Rumer!

This Week in Unnecessary Censorship

This is a weekly routine that Jimmy Kimmel does on his show.  It is usually hilarious and this week does not let us down! Check it out and enjoy.

So Here are The Facts About Halloween

All in one convenient place!  Thanks to Sam W. at Grand View for sending me this one!

Halloween 2012 Infographic

Wet Republic Bikini Contest




I don't really have a reason for posting this video other than it is a bunch of hotties in a bikini contest.  That should be reason enough, right?

This was from the Wet Republic Bikini Contest this summer.  Enjoy!!!

Florida Everblades - Great Ad

ECHL team Florida Everblades have a great ad agency. Boost Creative put this clever ad up under the visitors bench.  Hilarious!!!!!!  

The Camel is on the Right

Found this strange picture at Getty Images It is a picture of a couple Rockettes with a Camel as they prepare for The Radio City Christmas Spectacular rehearsal in New York this week. Here is the caption that accompanied it:

A camel named Ted (R) poses with Rockettes stands with two Rockettes during a photo opportunity in front Radio City Music Hall, on October 26, 2010 in New York City. Camels, sheep, and a donkey, who are part of the cast of The Radio City Christmas Spectacular, were on display for the media.

Did everyone understand that?   Ted, the camel, is the one on the right.  Got it?  Like we really needed the (R) to distinguish Ted the camel from a Rockette.  (Now if it was a pic of a camel with some trailer park trash from Arkansas, then we may have to have to letter to distinguish, but we are good on this one)

Squirrel Gets Head Stuck In Halloween Decoration; Scares The Neighborhood


Maybe I am Wrong, But Isn't The Bride Supposed To Be The Center of Attention?



I guess Justin Timberlake didn't get that memo!  And Jessica Looks so happy and calm.  Maybe that is what she always wanted -- Marry a rich guy that acts like a little kid!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Gym Hotties

And not just one video, but three!  You're Welcome Guys!



Candice Swanepoel - Elle Brasil Video


This is an incredible video! Last month, Candice Swanepoel was the covergirl for Elle Brasil.  Like everything Candice does, the video is stunning, awesome, jaw-dropping, mind numbing, and definitely worth a few weeks of fantasy time!  Enjoy!

 

10 Facts About Boobs


I am a man. I am a man who loves boobs. Therefore, I love videos about boobs. As a man who loves boobs, I recommend that you check out this video. No Nudity, just fun facts!

Some of the Sexiest Halloween Costumes

From Year's Past.  Stay tuned for the sexiest costumes from Halloween 2012!






Free Advice Friday -- Halloween Safety


As we all prepare for the upcoming Halloween season, please take a few minutes to read some simple rules to help keep everyone safe.

1. - Don’t assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

3. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

4. - Don’t go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!

5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.

6. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.

7. - Don’t have sex. Especially if you’ve noticed a few of your friends are missing!

8. - As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

10. - If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, don’t stand there sighing with relief, GET THE HELL OUT!

11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!

12. - Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
13. - If you find a town that looks deserted, there’s probably a good reason for it. Don’t stop and look around.

14. - Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.

15. - If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

19. - Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

Penelope and Monica Cruz in a Super Mario Bros. 2 Ad




They are so sexy!  And I love those accents! I just might run out and buy the game and continuously play the add in the background so I can hear their sexy accents the whole time I am playing!  WOW!  Advertising Really Works!


Free Advice Friday -- How to Be Cool

Everyone wants to be cool, but very few can actually achieve coolness.  I have reached the pinnacle of coolness and now I figure it is time to share my tips with you, my beloved readers.  The following are the cool way to do things:

--Cool way to pick your nose: Of course, you should not pick your nose in public, but sometimes you just have to.  If you do, use your pinky - it looks much more stylish than digging in their with your index finger.

--Cool way to sit on a folding chair: Backwards, straddling the seat with both legs.

--Cool way to do the devil's horns thing with your hand: Extend both arms above your head and widely extend the pinky and index finger. Use the thumb to clasp the middle and ringer fingers in place. Screaming or using both hands to emphasize the sign is optional.

--Cool way to hand someone a business card: Pinch the card between the pointer and middle finger and kind of flip it toward the person, not letting go though. 

--Cool way to smoke: Smoking is not cool.  So don't do it.  If you are around smokers, do the cool thing and rip their cigarette out of their mouth and stomp it out.  Say you are doing it because you care about them.  That way, you look concerned and cool -- And they probably won't kick your butt either. 

--Cool way to put on a pair of pants: Sitting on a bed, chair or similar surface place the left foot into the left pant leg first. Stand up and perform the same move using the right foot into the right pant leg.

--Cool way to wave a pedestrian or another driver to go first: Simultaneously extend your index and middle fingers. Next, move the entire hand - not just the fingers - in the direction you want the other person to move.

--Cool way to pay at the tollbooth: There aren't many in Iowa, but in Mexico and Oklahoma, there are a ton.  Open the window and without looking flick in the change in the direction of the toll basket. DO NOT wait for the light to turn green, once you've paid it is vital to peel out of the toll booth.

--Cool way to answer the phone: Avoid saying hello and instead simply state your name. Bonus coolness if state only your last name.

--Cool way to shoot a kid's squirt gun: Hold it sideways and point.  You will soon have every kid on the block copying you. 

--Cool way to recycle dryer sheets: Keep the used dryer sheets at the bottom of the laundry basket after you finish folding clothes. Maintain this for weeks until you've collected 30 or more dryer sheets. Then throw them out.

--Cool way to open a ketchup packet: Using your teeth, bite into the packet and rip a hole. Then spit out an packet fragments that you ingest in the process.  For added coolness, spit them out into a trash can from about 4 feet away.

--Cool way to cross the street: Keep your head pointed forward and use your eyes to scan for traffic from left to right. Once in the street, do not look at traffic or cars coming toward you and do not run.  Just walk straight ahead.  DO NOT FLINCH!!

--Cool way to carry a pack back: On the left shoulder.

--Cool way to be photographed: Appear moody and do not look into the camera lens. Look beyond the camera and use black and white film.  Trust me, they will want to put the pic in Time!

--Cool way to clean up hairballs from your cat: Wait for the hairball to dry and hope that someone else gets it first. If not, use a minimum of six paper towels to wipe up the mess.

--Cool way to clip fingernails: Always use a toenail clipper for both hands and feet.  A Toenail clipper just looks so much more impressive. 

--Cool way to acknowledge someone you see on the street: Simply tilt your head backward until they do they same.

--Cool way to sign e-mails: Use only your initials or a nickname.

--Cool way to surf the Internet: Wearing sunglasses in a darkened room while listening to 80's hair band hits.

--Cool way to laugh at something funny: Laugh quietly, point and say "Oh my God that's just so hilarious."

--Cool way to talk: Use one of those Stephen Hawking voice boxes.

--Cool way to eat hummus: It really isn't cool to eat hummus, so just pass it to the next person and say "I am a Man!!  No Hummus for me!!

--Cool way to open a browser: On your new state of the art smart phone.

--Cool way to answer a question, any question: Nod your head to one side and raise your hands as if to say "huh." Then look down, briefly and say "Whatever."

--Cool way to wait in line for a flu shot: Strike up a conversation with someone.  Be very loud and tell them how you survived Rabies shots not once, but twice, so this win be a piece of cake.

--Cool way to shake up bottled orange juice in the morning: Always shake with up and down movements, never side to side.

--Cool way to drink a cup of coffee: After taking a sip, make a frown face with your lower lip and then audibly say "ahh" in a low, barely audible gravely voice.  You will be emitting the essence of cool...

--Cool way to act cool: Just stand around and try to look cool. Practice in the mirror at home before going out.
--Cool way to squint: Squint a little but not too much. Just enough so you can see. Also, be sure to chew on a toothpick.  A toothpick is always cool.

--Cool way to hand someone money: Fold the bill length wise and pinch the money between your index and middle fingers.

--Cool way to sleep: On your back with your right leg out exposed while the rest of your body is covered.

--Cool way to steer a car: Using your right hand to grab the top of the steering wheel while your left hand is comfortably resting on the door by the window. 

If you have any other "cool tips", please leave them as a comment.  Enjoy and STAY COOL!!!

And don't forget to check out all of our other Free Advice we have been dishing out.

Maybe This Should be My Halloween Costume


Free Advice Friday - Halloween Tips to Keep the Ghosts Away

Found this here.  It says the author is unknown so I decided to reprint it all since it does not appear to be copyrighted.  If it is, I guess I will get sued!


ADVICE TO THOSE WHO WANT TO KEEP FROM BEING EATEN BY A MONSTER


  • When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.



  • If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery,was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.



  • Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.



  • Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.



  • If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.



  • When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off or go it alone.



  • As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.



  • Never stand in, on, above, below, beside,or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.



  • If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat,leave the room immediately if you value your life.



  • If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.



  • Do not take *anything* from the dead.



  • If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.



  • Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.



  • If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.


  • If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.



  • Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.



  • If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.



  • Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.



  • Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.


  • Check out all of our "Free Advice Fridays" Posts!

    A Halloween Light Show to the tune of "This is Halloween"

    I would love to see this Dude's Christmas Light Show!!!

    This is Going to be a Long Day!

    Insomnia Sucks!  Been battling it all week.  I kind of feel like this ecard.

    I even went to bed super early last night, but my mind just kept going and going.  I think I got about 3 hours of sleep last night!  UGH!  And I have two meetings today and then I have to drive from Dallas to Austin (I am in Texas this week for work.)  Wish me luck!!!!

    Thursday, October 25, 2012

    This is Why I Love Halloween!





    Cookie Monster Approves of This Self-Pic


    Female Refs - HooHaw!!!

    I had written this post when the NFL had the scab refs from the Lingerie Football League replacing the original refs.  The day before I was going to post it, the ref strike ended and I forgot about this post.  I was looking over some of my old posts that had yet to be published and figured there are just too many hotties on here to delete this post. This is for all you guys that like to see female refs with a little sex appeal!





    Interesting Sprite Bikini Commercial

    This is an interesting Brazilian Commercial for Sprite.  And of course, if it is Brazil, then it has Bikini's in it. 
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