Saturday, November 10, 2012

I Really Don't Know What To Say...

...other than that might be the perfect ass!  OMG!

Jena Sims Hand Bra in Stop Motion Video...IS SEXY

That beauty up above is model Jena Sims. She is wearing a nice hand bra, isn't she? She shot a stop motion video entitled Crazy as I May for Kaloopy Media. Very Hot, you have to check it out.  Almost half of the video is Jena and her hand bra.  :)

Rihanna Filming a Music Video - It Must Have Been Cold



Christina Cho in Body Paint (That's Kim Kardashian's Enemy)

Do you remember way back in March when Kim Kardashian was flour bombed by a PETA activist?  If you don't, we wrote a post about it and have the video here.

So why am I talking about this nearly 8 months later? 

Only because a reader sent a picture and a short link that highlights the perpetrator of this wonderful crime. The lady who did the flour bombing is Christina Cho.  Ms. Cho is an infamous PETA activist who goes around disrupting events in order to get that organization’s message out.

OK, so that wasn't a big deal, but he laso included a picture of Christina Cho.  In it, she is protesting wearing nothing on top but Body Paint.  Yes, you can see her boobies!  That is why we are writing this post.  Boobies always win in the end!

Spitter and Swallowers



I was out drinking with some female friends this weekend. I love the way Alcohol loosens everyone up.  Whenever we go out drinking, the talk turns to sex!  I love it!  This particular night, we had a rather long discussion dealing with Blowjobs.  Specifically, whether it is better to spit or swallow.

Now being a guy, I gave my opinion right off the bat.  I, like all guys, would prefer the girl to swallow.  This makes sense since a girl spitting out our love juice after a BJ comes off as a slap in the face to the guy.  We view a spit after a blow job on the same level as a wipe of the mouth after a kiss.   Of course, the 6 ladies just smiled and giggled and ignored me.  They immediately got into the topic.  I just sat back, watched and enjoyed (and made several mental notes just in case I ever hook up with one of these ladies.)  

This group of ladies were 4-2 in favor of swallowing. I immediately committed to memory the 4 in favor.  
The ones in favor said that they swallowed because it was:  
1.  Sexier and Kinkier
2.  It tasted great.
3.  It wouldn't be respectful or nice to spit.  

The ones against said:
1.  It tasted horrible
2.  It was just plain gross!

Then these lovely ladies started asking me about my opinion.  (I told you they basically ignored me!)

I told them what I had stated earlier, but with a little more detail.  You see, the sexiness of having a chick swallow probably goes back to Porno films. As a fairly young, horny guy, from time-to-time I watch a porno flick.  You see the likes of Audrey Bitoni, Nikki Benz and Jenna Jameson swallowing all the time.  It is sexy and normal, so us guys figure it must be enjoyable and we want it!

But, in the end, it is all about the blowjob.  Us guys try so hard to get a woman to go down on us, that we are just happy as heck when it actually happens.  When we do cum, we aren't even thinking about the whole Spit or Swallow thing.  It is kind of an after thought.   If the woman does swallow, we feel kind of proud about it, but it isn't like the end of the world if she doesn't swallow.  Most of us do not like the spit.  I would rather have a girl tell me she doesn't want me to cum in her mouth, then I will let her know when I am ready so she can stop and I can shoot my jizz on her face, boobs or onto the couch.  Whatever works for her.  

We then talked a little more about blowjobs, and I brought up the teeth issue.  I have had a few blowjobs in which the lady has either intentionally or accidentally gotten some teeth rubbage on my member.  This is not cool.  Anytime I have to fear for the safety of my dick while receiving a BJ is not a good thing.  Sometimes, it ruins the mood and I either tell her to forget it or let's just get straight to the main event.  I had one girl that made me scream and she even drew blood and left bite marks on my pee-pee!

Needless to say, I did not get any blowjobs from any of these women last night, although I did try to talk one into going home with me.  We made it to Katz's Deli for a late night snack, but she was falling asleep there so I dropped her off at her place.  I went home, drank a couple of more beers, called a couple of chicks for booty calls (Both were asleep and didn't feel like a 4 AM booty call), then I passed out on the couch.  

Construction Worker FAIL!

This guy thought he would be funny.  He took a big hose forcefully releasing water and pretended like it was his dick and he was peeing.  I guess you get what you deserve when you are messing around on the job!

The Luckiest Guy Alive?

If this does not touch your heart, then you just don't have one.....
An incredible story of luck and inspiration!


Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in the lottery last Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later.
Talk about LUCK!

I Always Thought Obama Wanted to Be A Star!

Hilarious Mash-Up Video of Barack Obama Rapping MC Hammer's Hit, "You Can't Touch This"

The Guide To Women's Behinds


Badass #1 - Andrew Jackson

We are starting off our Badasses series with a President, in honor of the Presidential election this week.  I love history!  I have a BA in History and consider myself a Historian.  So I am going to go back in history to present our first Badass.

Badass #1 - Andrew Jackson

Andrew Jackson was the Seventh President of the United States and probably the most Badass president we ever had.  He was known as "Old Hickory" because he was as tough as a chunk of Old Hickory wood.  I thought twice about including him on the list because of the way he treated the Native Americans.  He really was a world class a-hole when it came to the Natives and I will discuss that later.  In spite of his idiotic treatment of them, I included him because he did do some wild things that proved he was a Badass. 

The guy loved to fight and didn't take crap from anyone.  This guy was so badass that once, he actually beat up his own would-be assassin.  A guy approached him in the U.S. Capitol building and drew not one, but two pistols at him and attempted to shoot him.  It was the first assassination attempt on a president in history.  Jackson, then 67 years old, took his walking cane and started to beat the guy down.  Members of Congress had to restrain Jackson because he would not stop.  The guy almost died.  Screw Secret Service agents for protection, Andrew Jackson could handle things himself.  In true Badass fashion, Jackson had a sculpture made of himself and placed it in the Capitol at the site of the beatdown. 

Jackson was a Duelist extraordinaire.  He fought 103 duels in his lifetime.  He would fight anyone that would dishonor his wife, Rachel Jackson.  You see, Andrew married Rachel soon after she had gotten a divorce.  Many people did not like that and would let it be known that they thought Rachel was a girl with loose morals.  If Andrew found out that someone had been badmouthing his wife, he would challenge them to a duel.  He once dueled Charles Dickinson, a man who had killed 26 people in duels, because he insulted Rachel.  This is the crazy part - Jackson let Dickinson shoot him in the chest during the ensuing duel. Jackson looked down and saw the blood, took his finger, got some blood and then licked it.  He then aimed and fired at Dickinson, hitting him in the throat and killing him.  Now that is badass defined! 

He was also a pretty good soldier, although he had a rather dubious start.  At the age of 12, he enlisted in the Army to fight the Brits during the Revolutionary War.  He was captured and held by the British.  Thus, he is the only U.S. President to be held as a Prisoner of War.  Once, a British General asked the young Jackson to shine his boots.  Jackson told him to "F a Donkey" and spit at him.  Even at 12, the dude was a badass.  He was eventually released and went back to the army and continued fighting. 

Jackson fought once again in the War of 1812, which saw his greatest feat as a soldier.  He was the leader of the group of Americans that fought the Battle of New Orleans.  Recognizing that he needed more troops, Jackson actually went out and enlisted the help of a group of Pirates!  Even with the pirates, he was commanding about 4,000 men going into the battle while the British had over 8,000 men.  "Old Hickory" took his troops into battle and kicked some British Tail.  At the end of the day the British had suffered 2,037 casualties, including the deaths of all three senior commanding officers, while the American forces only had 13 men killed and 58 wounded.  The Americans held the city, and the victory was total.  The war was over and the British sailed away with their tails between their legs within a week.

Jackson was also known as a party animal and a man who liked the whiskey.  He frequently opened up the White House to the public, throwing wild parties for the common folk.  There are many accounts of his legendary parties, complete with people passed out on the White House lawn after a "Hard Night" of excess. 

My only problem with Andrew Jackson was his treatment of Native Americans.  He wanted to remove the Indians from all of the "Good" lands and place them on reservations.  He did this in order to make more room for white settlement, farmland, and gold mining  He was the president responsible for the infamous "Trail of Tears", which is one of the lowest points in American History and should have never have happened. 

His treatment of Native Americans was deplorable at best, but it's tough to deny the badassedness of a guy who put together an Army of Pirates, fought countless duels to defend his woman's honor, and was generally just crazy running on adrenaline non-stop.

This Is How They Close The Border Between India And Pakistan - DAILY!

And I have been there to see this.  I was there in the late 90's.  It is truly impressive.  They do this every single day.  I posted some pics of mine after the video.





We Rely Way Too Much On Technology


Friday, November 9, 2012

Star Wars Undies...

...look really good on that ass!

Lucy Pinder - Big Boobs

You all know that we love Lucy Pinder here at the blog!  She is one of our favorite British Babes.  Thanks to Sam from London who sent us the link to this video of a photoshoot she did for NUTS magazine in the UK.  The video features Lucy and two of her big friends!




Girl or Guy?



We have been running a feature here on the blog in which we post pictures of would be Hotties, but some of them are not your regular hotties.  Some of them are actually Guys who have done the hormones, etc. to get boobs.  We post the pics and you make the call on whether they are Girls or Guys!
To see past contestants on "Girl or Guy", click here!

Sexy Models Destroy Office Furniture

Nothing like watching some sexy models in skimpy outfits getting all pissed off and destroying office furniture, right?  I knew you would agree.  Thank me later...

Sexy Models Go Apeshit on Office Furniture by Spi0n

She Needs Help - What Would you Do?

Would you stop to help her?

I have to say, she looks pretty hot.  But her car is in a mess.  You are going to get muddy, wet and who knows what is going to come out of it.  She is probably married anyway.  So would you?

My Friend John's New Apartment...

...is disgusting!!!  I told him last night that we are not going over there for our pre-drinking routine that we go through before hitting the bars.  Seriously, he is living in a friction' dump!

Why is it so disgusting.  Let me count the ways!

1. The kitchen smells.  Why?  Because he has no garbage disposal. That  means all food goes into the garbage and John is not the cleanest dude in the world.  I bet he takes the trash out once a week.  So all that garbage ferments in the trash and stinks up the whole little apartment.  To counter it, he has a ton of deodorizer thingies in the house, but the smell doesn't cover up the rotting food.  It actually combines with the food and makes it worse.

2. Apparently the owner of the apartments doesn't have a recycling container on the property (it is a small, older place with only 10 apartments.  I think that is illegal here in Austin, but I would have to check on it.  I am a big recycler, so this kind of pissed me off.

3. The bathroom floor is always mildewy.  The place feels like a sauna.  They have some kind of weird humidity problem.  Everything I touched felt moist.  The couch was damp, the napkins were damp.  I swear I could see water beading on the TV screen.  It was downright uncomfortable. And to make it worse, it was not humid outside.  Outside, it was like 40% humidity.  Inside, I bet it was at least 80%.   I told him I would buy him a dehumidifier if he needs it.  Problem is, with all the humidity, he will probably have to be emptying it out every few hours.

4.  The bathroom has pink tile in it.  Pink!  Not very manly for a manly man like John!

5. John's place has laundry machines, but the problem is that they are not attached to the apartments.  They are in a little shack next to a four car ancient garage.  So you have to go outside and walk to the laundry room, which is never locked so anyone in the neighborhood can use it (And the neighborhood doesn't look that great.)  John told me a the girl in the apartment next to him has had clothes stolen from there a few times.  Plus, the dryer rarely works.  So you would have to dry them in your apartment, which would never happen due to the high humidity.

6. No central air. Can you believe they still have places like this in Texas?  They have a window unit in the bedroom and one in the living room.  The kitchen is always hot as hell!  And the AC units are loud as hell!  I have no idea how he sleeps with all that noise!

7. It's very close to a couple of grimy bars that attract a questionable clientele. Being next to bars is usually a good thing, but not these bars.  He has been living there three weeks and he has already heard 4 fights and has heard the cops coming to the bars at least 6 or 7 times.  And the cops always show up late, like 1 in the morning late and it is usually on weeknights, when he has to get up early and go to work.  

8.  The other tenants that we saw look like crack whores!  Seriously!  John says he thinks at least one of the ladies that live in the complex use her apartment as a brothel.  He says he has seen her and sometimes another lady there and they always have guys coming and going all afternoon and evening.  Sometimes, he will see 6 or 7 guys go in and out over 8 or so hours.  They are either Hookers or drug dealers.  

9.  There is no parking!  Unless you pay an extra $30 a month for one of the garage spaces, you have to park on the street or in a lot about a block away.  Remember, this neighborhood isn't all that great.  Not sure I would trust my car there long term. Of course, John drives an old 1992 Piece of Shit car, so he really doesn't care about that.  

The only plus is that it is cheap, especially for Austin.  He is only paying a couple hundred a month.  His bills for the first month will probably be about $100.  He was living in a place (with roommates) that cost $1500 a month (he was paying $500 and about another $200 in bills)  So he is saving about $400 a month.  His plan is to live there for a little while until he gets settled in with a job (he was laid off in May and he is still looking for something.)  

The Origin of Dubstep

So That's How it started. I guess that makes sense!

Lake Water Trampoline

It's called the Blob and it Looks Like Fun - Sign me Up!

Clever Advertising - Lord of the Rings Tide Detergent Commercial

I know it isn't a real commercial, but it should be!!!  And the lady isn't bad to look at either!

Enrique's Patterns

This phone call may or may not have happened yesterday and it may or may not have been me on the phone.  For ease of posting, let's just assume it was me, but I am not saying it was me.  Got That?

Debbie from Visa: Is this Mr. Enriqe Santos?

Enrique: Hell Yeah!  That's me!

D: Uh. Okay. Hope you are having a good day sir.  I don't want to alarm you, but I'm calling to check if there has been some fraud or theft involved with your account.

E: Shit! I hope not.

D: Let me just review some purchases with you. Did you spend $575 at Haverty's Furniture today?

E: Yes. That one was me. I got a nice new couch.  Good deal too.

D: Ok, How about another one in the amount of $265.86 at Home Depot?

E: Yup. That was me again. Bought me a new window air conditioner.

D: Okay, good. Lastly, how about $195.70 at Target?

E: That's mine too. Had to get a bunch of stuff for the new place.  Pots, Pans, Silverware and other house stuff.

D: Well, good to know. Just wanted to be sure because it didn't match your usual patterns.

E: My patterns?  What are you talking about?

D: Well Mr. Santos, In offering you extra security and protection, we have our system looking for things that throw up red flags.  If you have a charge that is not ordinary or seems suspicious, we are alerted and then we call you.  Our system finds things that are not in line with how you usually spend.  Sir, according to our system, you rarely spend over $150  anywhere, unless it is a bar or restaurant. And this almost exclusively happens on Fridays and Saturday Nights, with a few Thursdays thrown in from time to time.

E: Wow!  That is kind of weird.  Are you sure you are not spying on me Debbie?  Maybe you want to experience my lifestyle?  Tell me about yourself...

D: No, No Mr. Santos.  We are not spying on you and I am engaged Sir.  Sorry to disappoint.  Anyway...

E:  OH, That's too bad.  Anyway, I know what this looks like.  Not good, right?  Trust me, I am only a social drinker, I don't have a problem.  The reason the tabs are so high is because I am a friendly guy.  I buy a lot of people drinks when I go out.

D:  Why that is nice of you sir and I am not one to judge.  Well, anything else I can help you with?

E: No, I'm okay. You seem nice and I love your voice. Are you sure you don't want to get a drink sometime?

D: Sorry Mr. Santos, I can't.  Besides being ENGAGED, it is against our policy here at Visa to have a personal relationship with someone we have met on the job.

E: No Problem Debbie. Listen, if you ever quit Visa and you and your guy friend end up breaking off the engagement and you find yourself in Austin, you have my number.  And you know my patterns.  Just look at which bars I frequent and you can find me there...

D: Good Afternoon Mr. Santos.

E:  Bye Debbie...

CLICK



--Enrique Santos


This is How Tequila Works


So True...
--Enrique Santos

Free Advice Fridays - More Livin' Advice from The Madman

1. It's more fun to color outside the lines.

2. If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.

3. Ask why until you understand.

4. Hang on tight.

5. Even if you've been fishing for 3 hours and haven't gotten
anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you're still better off
than the worm.

6. Make up the rules as you go along.

7. It doesn't matter who started it.

8. Ask for sprinkles.

9. If the horse you're drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.

10. Save a place in line for your friends.

11. Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished
studying.

12. If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.

13. Just keep banging until someone opens the door.

14. Making your bed is a waste of time.

15. There is no good reason why clothes have to match.

16. Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

17. You work so hard pedaling up the hill that you hate to brake on
the way down.

18. You can't ask to start over just because you're losing the game.

One More Disturbing Halloween Costume

A friend just sent me this pic of a Halloween Costume.  I know it has been over a week since Halloween, but this one deserves a post.  Look at the Pic and then my analysis. 

I think I posted this as a compilation post of terrifying Halloween Costumes earlier this week.  It is so strange, I had to comment on it.  A Tigger costume with a Spiderman mask bikini brief bottoms.  There are so many things wrong about this picture.  Can we go ahead and get a restraining order for this guy so he cannot be anywhere near schools, parks or anywhere else there are children.

Perhaps most disturbing is the movie poster behind the wacko dude.  Am I the only one that thinks it is a little strange for a grown man to have a poster of "Spy Kids" in his house?  FREAK!!!!

This Day in History -- Nov. 9

This Day in History -- Nov. 9

1970 -- Former French President Charles De Gaulle dies.  No one really notices.
1989 -- East Germany opens its borders, allowing their citizens to travel to the west.  The biggest rave in German history spontaneously breaks out along the Berlin Wall. 

Birthdays

Lou Ferrigno is 60.  Time for new Calf implants??
Sisqo is 34 and still looking for the perfect thong.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Original Stimulus Package


AMEN!!!!!

Monica Leigh's Hot Behind the Scenes Video

Former Playboy Playmate Monica Leigh recently did a hot Bikini Photoshoot.  When I say Hot, I mean Hot!  We have the video of the Behind the Scenes action at the photoshoot.  My computer screen is smoldering...



Can you believe that she was the March 2006 Playboy Playmate.  That is 6 and a half years ago!

A Drunk/Drugged Girl Tries to Have Sex With a Tree


The Ultra Music Festival must be a pretty wild one! Women are getting drunk and then getting it on with trees! WOW! The Ultra Music Festival is an annual outdoor music festival held in Miami, Florida. We all know ho crazy that town is. It is also one of the largest Electronic Music Festivals. Electronic Music Festivals are like a big Rave, with tons of liquor and drugs (usually Ectasy). So this chick may have been drugged out too. is. if I had to Google it, then some of you probably do as well.

Anyway, enough with the intro. I am sure you all just want to see a girl get down with a tree. Here you go:

Heather Rene Smith - Athletic Gymnastic Hottie

Heather Rene Smith is a very sexy model, and former Playboy Platmate. She’s also an ex-athlete and gymnast.  We have a thing for fit women who are limber and hot.  She pretty much could be the poster girl for that category of ladies!  Enjoy...






Someone Please, Tell Us Who This Lady Is?


And if you can help us identify any of our other hotties in our "Who is This" section of the blog, let us know... 

Halloween or Just a Weird Guy?

You tell me?  My guess is just some wacko.  Look at the letters on the sign.  I doubt it is from a country that celebrates Halloween.  Anyone know where this picture is from?  I think it is Russian...

Tearing It Up and Then Going to Work the Next Morning


I went out to 6th Street last night for a friend's birthday party.  I swore I was only going to have one or two drinks and be home by 10:30.  Well, that sure as hell didn't work!  I got drunk and didn't get home until about 1:30 AM.  I was hungry when I got home, so I went back out to Taco Cabana to get a bite to eat.  Then I watched Sportscenter while eating.  At 3 AM or so, I somehow remember convincing myself that I can make it on 2 hours of sleep.  I thought it would be no problem.  AHHH, how the drunk mind can deceive!  I think I ended up going to bed at about 3:30 or 4 AM. Woke up at 6:30!  I took a shower, but I think I still smelled like beer and booze. I know my breath did, even after brushing my teeth twice and chugging some mouthwash.

Needless to say, Today Sucked.  I had the day from Hell.  Way too much to do and I felt like crap all day!  I had a headache so bad that it felt like someone shot me in the head, point blank. I still felt a little buzzed as I was going to work.  Hell, I might still have been legally drunk as I was heading in.

The whole day, I was wishing I had gone to bed at 10 PM and got a full 8 or 9 hours of sleep.  I have to stop doing this crap during the week (No way in Hell I am going to stop praying during the weekend!)

Of course, this is probably not going to happen.  The next time a buddy calls me and says "A bunch of us are hitting the bars tonight" and it is a Tuesday or Wednesday night, I am sure I will be there!   Maybe someday I will learn...or maybe not!


10 Important Scientific Questions

I found this list of some of the Most Important Scientific Questions in a New York Times from a few months ago, and decided to see if I can answer a few of them. I hope that you all find this enlightening.

1. Will humans ever visit Mars? Although they don't offer tours, you can visit Mars Candy Co. anytime you like.  It is in New Jersey I think. 

2. How does the brain work? In magic and mysterious ways.

3. What is gravity, really? I think it is the name of some new cheap cologne.

4. What should we eat? Tombstone pizzas, tacos, lasagna, pork tenderloins, and barbecue

5. What happened before the Big Bang? Monday Night TV was just not as interesting.

6. Can robots become conscious? If you believe the movies, yes.  Of Course, Hollywood would never feed us B.S., right?

7.  Can Science prove the existence of God?  Good question. You'll have to give me a couple of days on that one (it is only fair since Science has had a couple of decades).

8. How did life begin? According to their web-site, Life began in November 1936.

9. Can drugs make us happier? Smarter? No!!  They can make you more stupid and more depressed though.

10. Where are those aliens? They are everywhere, living amongst us (Don't you watch V?)

The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall

A Big guy falls for the Butter Prank in the kitchen.  He slips and falls hard.


I have done this prank on two occasions.  Once, it was all good. My buddy laughed it off.  The other time, it was all bad.  My friend Jason ended up going to the hospital.  He broke his wrist.

My point:  Do this prank and you have a 50/50 chance of an injury.  It is worth it, trust me!

--Tony Giordano

OOOPS - She Burned the Spaghetti

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago and we have been hanging out lately.  Not dating, but just seeing where it goes.  She came over last night and wanted to surprise me with a dinner.  She told me to relax and she will cook everything.  Being Monday night, I cracked open a beer and watched some football while she began cooking.  She told me she was making Italian and got to work.

After about 15 minutes, she joined me on the couch with a glass of wine.  We were watching football when I noticed a burning smell.  As I was asking her "Do you smell something burning?" the smoke detector in the Kitchen went off.  


Rushed in there and this is what we found:


Amazing that just a little burning spaghetti could set off the smoke alarm.  

Cyndi was in tears and I wasn't helping as I was taking pictures of the Spaghetti and laughing.  I calmed her down and talked her into going out to eat.  As I was changing, I started smelling something else.  Cyndi was watching the game and waiting for me as I walked past her and the living room into the kitchen.  There I noticed smoke coming from the oven.  I grabbed an oven mitt and pulled this out of the oven:



Seems Cyndi had forgotten that she had put bread in the oven.  Luckily, we noticed it before we left for dinner or I am sure we would have had the smoke detector going off and the neighbors would probably have called the fire department since the kitchen window was cracked open and smoke probably would have been pouring out of the window.  

The disaster was averted and we headed out to Chuy's to eat some Tex-Mex.  I also told her that I will do the cooking from now on!  

Jay and Silent Bob - The Drinking Game!

My Friend Bob sent me this today.  It is a Jay and Silent Bob Drinking Game.  You just have to watch the movie and have plenty of alcohol.  I have the DVD so I am thinking about inviting some friends over this weekend to give it a try.
Jay and Silent Bob Drinking Game Rules
1 Drink:
- Whenever the word ‘f*ck’ is used
- Whenever you hear the word ‘Hollywood’
- Whenever you hear a Bassline in the background (usually a bass slide)
(The word “f*ck” is used 248 times so this rule alone is more than enough; however, to make things more fun it’s usually better to have more than one rule.)
Down Full Drink:
- When Silent Bob speaks
This drinking game was created by Craig, owner of Beerbongbros.co.uk, a site dedicated to beer bongs(Awesome!). Remember to drink responsibly, know your limits and stop when you know you’ve had enough.

Badasses!


Always innovative and on the edge of the Blogosphere, Ramblings of a Semi-Madman is starting another new feature.  I can feel your excitement and giddiness from here in Iowa.  Yes, another series of feature posts are coming up.  This time, I am going to present to you some of the people that I feel are Badasses!!! 

These folks may be Good Badasses, such as my buddies Jason Statham and Chuck Norris, or they may be some mean S.O.B.'s such as Genghis Khan or Benito Mussolini.  You will just have to wait and see who I pick.  I will try and post someone at least once a week, so stay tuned.  The series starts this weekend!

A Slip 'n Slide Fail Compilation

Don't you love Slip 'n Slides? I had one as a kid and used it almost daily during the summers. Thank God they didn't have phones with cameras back then. I would have had 2 hours worth of fail videos.

Check these out. There are some good ones in there!

The NBA All-Star, All Ugly Team - Terrifying Tuesdays Retro Edition

I originally posted this in 2009, but it stands the test of time.  Enjoy!

The NBA season has just begun, so it is kind of early for any type of all-star list, but I think this one can be done since it isn't really based on stats, but on looks.  I spent a ton of time making this list, going through extensive research, time-consuming ranking and rating of people who could be on the list, and exhaustive Internet research to come up with what I consider the most horrific ten players to ever lace up a basketball shoe. The 15 minutes of Google image searching was incredibly draining, but it was worth it!

You May wonder why I have 11 in the list and not some round even number such as 10.  The reason -- There are just a bunch of ugly dudes playing basketball. I could have easily done a top 20 or 30 but that would take too long.  I narrowed it down to these 11.

So, Here they are.  Let me know if you think anyone else should be on the list. 

The NBA’s All-Time Ugly Team

#11 Tyrone Hill



Just an average player who came off the bench, put in some decent minutes and that was it.  But he is butt-ugly.  Some lists I have seen rank him in the top three.  Just look at his face. It looks like he is just a collection of bones that is at least 100 years old.  He has no muscle in his face, just skin on bones.  And his eyes are so deeply sunk in, it is scary.  He probably never needed to find a Halloween costume thanks to that face.


#10 Andrei Kirilinko



He hails from Russia and plays for the Utah Jazz.  And he is Ugly!  When I look at Andrei Kirilenko I think of one other person: Ivan Drago, Rocky's Russian Nemesis. Kirilenko resemblence to Drago is uncanny, with the slicked back blond hair and an over protruding chin. Not to mention both men hail from Russia and are very tall. Thankfully we no longer have to look at Drago unless we want to watch Rocky kick his ass again. Unfortunately, we still have to watch Andrei Kirilenko.


#9 Pau Gasol

Not sure what it is about this Spaniard that makes him so ugly. Maybe it’s the facial hair, his head of hair, his euro-attitude, or what it is…And how did he score such a hot wife!!!  I guess money and being a celeb really can get you a hottie wife, no matter what you look like.








Lena Gasol -- Pau's wife. 









#8 Mark Eaton

This former Utah Jazz giant is big and ugly.   I would hate to meet him in a dark alley.

#7 The 1987 Boston Celtics



One of the greatest teams to ever play the game, but you have to admit that the likes of Dennis Johnson, Danny Ainge, Larry Bird, Robert Parrish and Kevin McHale had some ugly mugs.   Some of the others that didn't play much were ugly too.  I don't think you could pick just one.  I actually considered putting three or four of them on the list, but decided to group them together.  I really think that a group this ugly will never be assembled again, ever!  I did some research and talked to a statistician and we figured that the odds of getting a BBall team that ugly again is .0045%.  Seriously!!

#6 Patrick Ewing



One of the all-time great centers to play the game.  But he never was one for good looks.  Even at Georgetown.  Anyone remember him wearing those grey shirts under his uniform at Georgetown?  His pit area was covered in sweat and dripping before the game started.  He had to have had some kind of sweat gland problem.  I remember Olajuwon saying in an interview that Ewing was one of the Sweatiest dudes ever.  Ugly and sweaty, not a good combination. 

#5 Steve Nash

He looks like a caveman.  A skinny, weird looking caveman from Canada.  Maybe I should have bumped him up into the top 3. 
#4 Popeye Jones


Remember that dude from the goonies?



 
 
 
 
Does this foto help jog your memory?  I don't think that I need to say much more. 
 
 
 
 
 
#3  Chris Kaman

This man is the walking definition of ugly. Long flowing hair with an ugly face on a 7+  foot frame is not a great combination.  He really did not have anything going on for him in the looks department, so he was probably banking on his great basketball skills.  Problem was, his skills weren't that great.  So far, he has had a disappointing career.  Many NBA scouts predicted that he would develop into one of the better big men in the league.  So far, they are wrong.  Another great pick by the Clippers!  So Ugly, I had to put two pics of him. 

#2 Gheorghe Muresan

What a strange looking guy.  So strange that he co-starred in a movie wtih Billy Crystal.  Remember that crappy movie called "My Giant".  That was Gheorghe in all of his acting glory.  No surprises that was the only movie he ever did. 





Another Muresan foto with:
a.  Groupies who like tall ugly dudes
b.  Drunk women on a bachelorette party night doing their scavenger hunt.  Guess they can check off "Picture with an Ugly Giant" item.
c.  Call girls.  How much did he pay them?





#1 Sam Cassell



No contest for #1.  He truly looks like an alien.  Is there another guy in any sport that is as ugly as Sam Cassell.  Here are some comparison pics. 



Wether it is ET, an Alien or Gollum, you have to admit Cassell has a stunning similarity to all three. 





And once again, an ugly NBA player with two girls who are not all that bad (Definitely 1,000 times better than him, but even Oprah is a little bit better than him).  Since they are both holding drinks in their hand, I think we can safely assume that they are drunk. 




Well….there you have it!  I think this top 10 is pretty accurate.  Let me know if you think of anyone else.
Follow us on Twitter for to get the latest happenings, Check Out Our Facebook Grouppage, our Facebook Fanpage or Return to our Homepage

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...