Saturday, December 15, 2012

MY GOD - Look at those Abs!


This is the beautiful and fit Melyssa Buhl.  Look at that Body!  WOW!  More pics below






Kanye West Is Stealing Clothes from Kim Kardashian

He wore this at his concert this week:








































Unless he is Scottish, I don't think the skirt look is very becoming of him!

And let me say this: If Man Skirts become a Fashion Trend, I am moving to Greenland or somewhere that I will never have to see them.  Even if you are wearing jeans under them, they look stupid!  Now a Kilt, that is a different story.  Those look kind of cool, but you shouldn't wear them unless you are Scottish/Irish or Welsh.

Hottie of the Day - Alice Goodwin

Alice Goodwin is another one of those Busty British Babes that we love so much here at "ROSMM." This beauty has appeared in Zoo, Nuts, and Maxim. In 2009 she was voted Zoo magazine’s hottest topless babe of the year.  I am pretty sure she smoked the competition.  Finding pictures that were safe for this blog was hard.  She has alot of beautiful topless pics.  Do a Google Images search and you will see her in all of her glory! Follow her on Twitter as she likes to post self-pics on there.   You also may want to like her Facebook page. She has a ton of pics there and is constantly adding pics. If you don't have the time, or for some weird reason you don't want to find more pics of this hottie, we are providing some for you.  Enjoy our Hottie of the Day!    

Love-Making Bloopers

Awhile back, we asked you, our esteemed readers:

What's The Funniest Thing That's Ever
Happened To You Or Someone
You Know While Making Love?

Here are some of the replies that we have gotten so far.  Keep those emails coming in.  Remember to write to: semi.madman@gmail.com

Anna-Lee in Alaska:
"After attending a football game, my boyfriend and I went back to my house to have a little fun. While we were having sex, my kitten had jumped onto the answering machine. Somehow the feline had pressed the record button, taping out moans of pleasure onto the machine. An hour later my mother called to ask how the game was. Her exact message: 'How many touchdowns does it take in order to satisfy you?'"

Chris in Illinois:
"Me and my fiance were having a romantic night with candlelight. We started going at it and when we went to change positions I hit the table where the candle was and hot wax spilt all over my penis."

Diane in Missouri:
"I wanted to share how I embarrassed my hubby's doctor. He got a vasectomy and after the operation the doc asked if I had any questions. He said not to worry because he has heard it all before. After thinking for a minute, I asked, "Hey doc, will it taste the same?" I never knew I could make a doctor blush ."

Anonymous in Illinois:
"8 months after the birth of our first child, my husband and I decided to have a little fun. So he made a pallet on the floor for our child, then came back to the bedroom and proceeded to pleasure me with his hands. We had all the lights off, and it was dark, when he reached for the K-y jelly, squirted some on his hand, and started rubbing me with it. It didn't seem to be working very well, so he reached for some more. When that didn't work either, he turned on the light and realized his mistake. He had grabbed the baby Desitin instead!! I immediately took and shower and washed it out, but needless to say, the mood was totally ruined!!"

Meet Me On Dildo Street

OK, OK, I know it is actually Dilido St. but admit it - You thought it was Dildo too when you first saw it!

"Why Are You Looking at My Girlfriend?"

Vitaly Zdorovetskiy is a Russian actor who moved to the U.S. in 2004.  He specializes in filming prank videos.  This time  he does the classic "Why Are You Looking at My Girlfriend?" Prank.

How to Survive the Mayan Apocalypse

It's days away! The Mayan 2012 Apocalypse is almost here! Comedian John Hodgman decided to guide us through it so we could survive.  Thanks John!


The Obama Jealousy Pics!

Looks like there is some Jealousy in the Obama Household, and Bill Clinton is loving it!

Friday, December 14, 2012

A Music Video From the Hood! (NSFW)


I nominate this music video for "Most Ghetto" Music video in the history of music! The song is called "Aquafina's in this Bitch"   Wonder what her kids are going to think someday.

Female Rappers, Beware!

Macho Doll Shows Us How to Do Yoga

I am not into Yoga.  Never have and probably never will.  But I am into Sexy Women Wearing Bikinis.  And if there is a Sexy Woman wearing a bikini and doing sexy Yoga poses, even better!

Macho Doll is a Czech Fitness Girl who likes to work out on the beach in a bikini.  She also loves Yoga.  Macho Doll is not all that bad looking either. She has a smokin' hot body and is definitely MILF material.  Check out this video of her going through a bunch of Yoga poses.  You might get a nice little workout yourself!


Sex and the Motorcycle - Motorcycle Sutra

Strange Video entitled "Sex and Moto".  It is basically Motorcycle Karma Sutra!

And the background music just happens to be one of the greatest songs ever, "Song 9" by Blur!


My Kind of Party




Playing cards on the floor, alcohol, drunk ladies and a bunch of girls doing a Train!  This is my kind of party! Now if only I was somewhere in the middle of that train...

Hottie of the Day - Elizabeth Velasquez

Our Hottie of the Day is Elizabeth Velasquez (@LizVelasquez).  She probably looks familiar to you if you are into Hip-Hop videos.  She has appeared in the videos of Pitbull, YG, Waka Flocka Flame, Nipsey Hussle, Game, and David Banner. She is also popular in the Car Modeling circuit. Enjoy the pics of Today's Hottie:




The Three Theories of Time Travel




Free Advice Friday - Winter Driving Kit

Another Friday and I am dishing out more unsolicited advice!  It has been a busy week, so I am posting something that a reader from the Orlando, Florida area sent me last week (Thank you T-Mug).  He sent me a list of what Floridians keep in their cars for their winter driving kits.  Here in Iowa, we have ice scrapers, blankets, a small shovel, chains, extra gloves, etc.  In Florida, they have:

  • Sunscreen.
  • Some cool shades.
  • A beach towel.
  • PiƱa colada mix.
  • Jimmy Buffett CDs.
  • An umbrella for fruity cocktails.
  • Sturdy flip flops.
  • A mirror to alert other motorists that you're catching some serious rays.
  • Golf clubs, shuffle board or beach volley ball equipment.
  • An old captain's hat to protect your head and scalp.
  • A bikini.
  • Nair.

How to Open A Wine Bottle Without a Corkscrew

Always here to give you the best free advice (you're Welcome!), we found this video to help you when you are seducing that hottie and you brought a bottle of wine over to her house (to get her drunk, not because you are a romantic) and you find out she doesn't have a corkscrew to open it with.  This could be a life saver and could keep you on course for a night of Romance!  Pay attention and take notes!

Adam Sandler Sings "Sandy

Adam Sandler took the stage at the 12-12-12 concert.  He might have stolen the show with his new song, "Sandy, Screw Ya!"

1 Hour of the the Best "Wins" and "Fails" of 2012

If you have an hour to spare, then check out this video presenting the best Wins and Fails of 2012

Shoot Down Santa

It's Shoot Down Santa (Actually called Santa Slay, but that sounds worse) and it's a pretty hard game. The crosshairs are hard to see and having to constantly move about you tend to lose track of where you're shooting.

I managed to score 950 on the "easy" level.

I would rate this game PG-13 -- Don't let any kids that believe in Santa see this one.

Music on your phone

Next time you are bored at work or home, give this a try:

...You can play music on your phone by pressing the buttons on the top (1,2,3)...and along the side (6,9,#). But don't play the 4,5,7,8,*, or 0. They sound even worse than the others.




Happy Birthday

112163
112196
11#9632
969363

Auld Lang Syne
11113212
321139#
#9331212
321##91

Frere Jacques
12311231
369369
9#9631,9#9631
191,191

Mary Had a Little Lamb
3212333
222,399
3212333
322321

Louie, Louie
111-66-999-66

Help
911
911
911
911

If you can't tell, today has been a slow day at work.  I am bored!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Heady Betty Sexometer



A Girl I met the other night told me about this thing, so I looked it up online and sure enough, it was for real.    Personally, I thought sex was all about pleasure, sensation, intimacy and connection (except when having a one-night stand, but that is a different post.)  Now, I guess sex is about COMPETITION AND “MEASURING UP”! At least that is what the people at LuvInMotion want you to think.  They want you to think about that so you will want to buy their Heady Betty Sexometer.

The Heady Better is a motion counter that attaches to either one’s head, wrist or waist and “enhance your love life”by counting your “lover’s motions, how long he or she takes/lasts, and even tracks calories burned”. Hell, that is always the first thing I think of after sex: "How many calories did I burn?"  NOT!

They even have a video on YouTube promoting the product and showing you how to use it.  (Video is below and is SFW)

And could you imagine picking up a chick, going home for a little wild sex, and she says, "Wait, I have to get my Heady Betty on." and they you proceed to have sex with her while she is wearing that thing on her head?

Hottie of the Day - Courtney Shoemaker

I introduce you all to Courtney Shoemaker. I have been following Courtney on Twitter for awhile now. She is a model over at Model Mayhem. Courtney is a young hottie from Scottsdale, Arizona.

Enough with the info and on with the pictures!







The Situation Continues To Pester Pussies



The Situation is now in an ad for Peta. Look at that poor little kitten, who is probably freaking out by being snuggled up too tightly to the Situation's steroid pumped chest.  And the situation says "Too Much Pussy Can Be a Bad Thing."  This coming from a guy who has slept with just about every whore and slut in New Jersey and the surrounding area.  The guy probably has herpes, gonorrhea syphilis and genital warts.  I hope he doesn't kiss the cat or it may get oral herpes!

What the hell is PETA thinking?  Can't they get any real celebrities to do their ads anymore?
If there is one message that this poster really delivers, it is that you should spay or neuter your Mike Sorrentino today.

At Least Tom Arnold is Honest


Dave VanWinkle - Not a Smart Man


DAMN!  This guy gave someone a blow job so he could get a roof rake.  I am not ever sure what a roof rake is.  Does it rake out the gutters?  Rakes snow off the roof?  It must be an awesome roof rake if he gave a blow job for it (unless Dave Loves to give Blow Jobs!)


10 Funniest Christmas Songs

Even though I went on a rant last night about Christmas music on the radio, I have since calmed down (Probably because I haven't turned on the radio or TV today).  We were talking about Christmas traditions and we started rambling off some of our favorite funny Christmas songs.  I decided to make a list of what I think are the 10 funniest.  Let me know if you agree or if I forget a song.  These are in no particular order. 

Twas the Night After Christmas – Jeff Foxworthy
Here’s You Sign Christmas – Bill Engvall and Jeff Foxworthy
SNL Christmas Song – Adam Sandler
Twelve Days of Christmas – Bob and Doug McKenzie
The Hanukkah Song - Adam Sandler (Technically not a Christmas song, but deserving of a spot)
I want a Boob Job for Christmas – Virginia Kegel
Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer – The Irish Rovers
All I want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan – Kenny Chesney
I saw Mommy Kissing Santa – John Mellencamp
Who’s That Up on the Roof? – The Caroleers

I am sure I am forgetting a Weird Al Yankovich Song, but I can't think of it off the top of my head.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Don't Drink and Drive

2 Drunk Guys, 1 Scooter and one car honk!  The end is predictable, but still worth seeing...

Who Wears this Stuff?

These shirts (the entire wall of them) can be found at an Iowa Truckstop.   They can also be found all over the Midwest and the Southwest in Gift stores, department stores and travel stores.  I remember seeing a ton of them at Wall Drug in South Dakota and at some little roadside tourist trap in Colorado. 

Who the heck buys these things?  Who would want to wear a wolf (or three or four), bison or Indians and eagles on their shirt?  These shirts are cheap and tasteless.  They would probably look ok on canvas, but on a T-Shirt -- Forget It!!!  Despite my opinion, there must be quite a market for them since I have seen them all over the country and there are always alot of shirts available.  Lately, I have been seeing women's purses, jackets, baseball caps and sweatshirts with the same type of artwork on them.  They are expanding their market.  Heaven Help Us!!

Living in South Korea

A friend sent me some pictures of his apartment building in Seoul.  His company transferred him to Korea for a year.  He lives on the third floor of the third building from the left.  The bottom floor on each building is retail.

Look at the advertising on all of the buildings.  He says his whole area is like that and probably 75% of Seoul is like that.  They use billboards on every possible space available.  He has an advertisement on both of his windows that blocks the view.  The owner won't let him take the ads down because he makes  $$ off of that.

I don't know about you, but it looks a little trashy to me.  I guess $$$ takes priority over appearance

A WTF Hairstyle!


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