Saturday, May 18, 2013

What is Up With All The Locks?

Seriously?  That is so not fair!!!  :(  


Go Ahead and Cuff Me Up!

I am Guilty!!!

18 Minutes Of Bikini Contest Videos

Why?  Because it is summertime.  And How Can We Refuse Showing a Bikini Contest?  That would be unethical!

This one is the Bikini Contest at the 2013 Southeast US Boat Show.  ENJOY!


Here are some more Sexy Bikini Contest Videos and pics.  

Hottie of the Day - Jessica Cediel

Jessica Cediel is a Bikini and Lingerie Model from Colombia. Another Lovely Latina has been named our "Hottie of the Day."   Don't forget to check out her video after all of the pics!














And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

I Disagree...Not A Great Gift Idea

I mean who really wants a bottle of ketchup as a gift?  Even if it is in a custom labeled bottle, I can think of thousands of things better than ketchup as a gift!!!

A Sign of Things To Come?


Hillary and a run for the presidency in 2016?  Already getting ready for her run with a Nutcracker.  I bet she has busted some nuts over the years!

Shoot a Microwave? Yeah, Why Not!

Want to Know What Happens When You Shoot a Microwave?  Watch and learn my friends:
(Warning: Language is NSFW)

Surviving a Bear Attack - Really?

Seriously?  Does this work?  I just think a bear would be a little too smart for the whole "Let me pretend like I am dead and the bear will go away" mindset.  I mean they are smart hunters, can fish better than humans and are pretty adept at getting food from tight spots.  Anyone tried this technique and actually lived ?

Friday, May 17, 2013

Giddy Up Cowgirl!

I SOOOO Need to go back to Texas, and Soon!!!

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture

This is what I think of when I hear Outkast's Song "Hey Ya" and it gets to the part where they say "Shake it, Shake It, Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture"

Our Favorite Dresses - Clubwear See-Thru

I love these dresses!  Luckily, I have seen a few even here in Iowa at the clubs down on Court Avenue.  Thank God this fashion has made its way to Iowa!


Hottie of the Day - ELISABETTA GREGORACI

Elisabetta Gregoraci is an Italian fashion model and TV personality. She is a 33 year old hottie who is unfortunately married to a Rich old Italian Business Man named Falvio Briatore who started all the Benetton stores. Lucky Guy! She must want the 63 year old for his money!!!


 We also have a few pics of this Hottie NAKED!  WOW - What a Body!

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!





Family Photo Fail!!!


A double Fail for a family photo -- They are all wearing denim AND they are all wearing hats!!!

Free Advice Friday - How To Pretend to Be Smart

Thanks to John Allen from Texas for sending me this.  He asked if I could use this for my "Free Advice Friday" post.  Well John - CONGRATULATIONS!  You're post was chosen!  You have won...wait for it...wait for it...a candy bar of your choice!  :)  Next time I am in Texas, I will buy you whichever candy bar you want.  (See, I make sure you all are treated right!)


HOW TO PRETEND TO BE SMART - John Allen

Appearing to be smart is actually more important than being smart itself, because if you are really smart, then you have to do stuff like study Physics and write books. But if you are only pretending to be smart, you get all the benefits, without any of the downside. It’s a good deal, trust me. I’ve been doing this for 25 years now, so I can claim to be somewhat of an expert.
Here are some tips to make you appear smart:
1. Use words that sound familiar.
It is a common misconception that you have to use big-big words to sound smart. If you use very big words, your victim will have no idea what you’re talking about and completely switch off. This is also known as MBA-speak. Avoid it. The key is to make your victim think that he *almost* got what you said.
So, use words that sound familiar, but don’t mean anything. Good examples of such words are “edothermic“, “biomechanical“, “macro-economy” and “data-mining“. Nobody knows what these words mean, so they’re safe to use.
Example:
Victim: “What is this whole ‘credit crisis’ thing we keep hearing about?”
Wrong Answer: “Imploding Hedge funds precipitated by highly leveraged exposure to CDOs and exotic commercial paper further worsened by tightening credit conditions.” (Too much MBA-speak)
Right Answer: “The problem is that these high-flying bankers burned their fingers on mortgage-backed securities that they shouldn’t have bought in the first place. I mean, it’s not rocket science!”
Notice the clever use of “mortgage” and “securities“. Everyone has heard of these words, but no one knows what they mean.
2. Make sure your victim only understands half the sentence.
The idea is that your victim should feel that he is vaguely following what you are saying, but didn’t really get it. He will then conclude that he is a moron for not being able to understand such simple things. This is the win-win situation you should be aiming at.
A good strategy to use here is to structure your sentences into two parts. The first part makes sense and your victim understands it. The second part is where your victim should get confused and the rest of the sentence should go over your victim’s head.
Example:
Victim: “…and that’s why the traffic problem is so bad in Bangalore.”
Wrong Answer: “No! The real problem is these stupid auto fellows who drive like wild monkeys. They should shoot all of them!” (Makes you sound like a cheap zoo keeper)
Right Answer: “I think the real problem is that all of Bangalore’s commuters are angry and frustrated because the economic incentives are misaligned by the subsidized fuel and unchecked extranalities brought about by macro economic prosperity of our country in general. I mean, the GDP is growing at 9%!”
3. Appear confident and make jokes. 
This is probably the most important – You need to appear confident and at ease with yourself. You can easily achieve this by reminding yourself that nobody else in the room has any clue either, and everyone is just playing along. Only, you have learnt the secret from the Pointless Wanderings blog while everyone else is struggling.
Another thing is that you need to tell jokes and stories. Note that these jokes and stories don’t have to be funny at all. They just have to further re-enforce the feeling in your victim that he really didn’t get it.
Example:
Victim: “…and soon, we’re going to have floods because of Global Warming!”
Wrong Answer: “Yeah. And then we’ll all drown and get washed away. Oh My God! The WORLD IS GOING TO END! HELP! HELP!” (Makes you sound like a crackpot)
Right Answer: “Isn’t it ironic that despite having well-understood models of Chaos Theory, mankind’s myopia is leading us to the brink of disaster. The Butterfly has already flapped it’s wings, people! Hehehe…”
Victim: “He he he…eh?”
You now have the know-how and power to pretend to be smart. Go forth and change the world. 

YEA - It's Friday!




They Keep Starting Them Earlier and Earlier

For the Future Pole Dancers and Chippendale's Guys in the world...Nothing like starting them early!


Now This is Art - Bill Murray On The Back of a Car


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Thong Thursdays - Elegant Black Thong


Don't forget to check out all of our other Thongs that have made an appearance on "Thong Thursdays!"

Hotties Washing a Car With No Hands

Must-see video.  I wish all car-washes were like this!

WTF - This is Some Weird Looking Meat!


I have never seen meat look that looks like a Vagina!  And it is a Beef Tongue...Appropriate I guess!



Thong Thursdays - White with a Bow


Don't forget to check out all of our other Thongs that have made an appearance on "Thong Thursdays!"

An Atlanta Braves Fan Walks Into a Tattoo Parlor...

...and comes out with a tattoo of his own dorky self!  


Guess How Old I Am?


This joke appeared in my inbox.  Thanks to Jeff for sending it to me.  

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".
"I'm really 47!", he says, feeling better than ever.
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was standing behind you at McDonalds."

Iowans Are Resourceful

Only in Iowa have I seen people use a Doritos Chip bag to cover up a broken taillight. That is ingenuity!  

Trying to Book a Flight on Virgin Atlantic - What am I?

WOW!  I am doing some business traveling and I was looking at booking a flights in Europe.  Virgin Atlantic isn't messing around when they ask you for your title.  So many Options!


Google Street View Hyperlapse

Very cool video of Various Google Street View cars cruising the country, shown at Hyperlapse speed. Check it out:
Google Street View Hyperlapse from Teehan+Lax Labs on Vimeo.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Tianna Gregory - Underboob and Abs

Tianna is a very fit girl!  I am thinking she is going to have to be featured as one of our "Hotties of the Day" very soon.  What do you think?

What is the Point of Bodysuits?

Seriously? Why wear these things UNDER clothes. They are "Suits" after all. Suits are outerwear. Men's Suits, Bathing Suits, Pant Suits...All of them are Suits and they are worn as the last layer of clothing.  The layer that everyone sees.  Ladies, Just wear them outside please. The will then be worn as they are inteded to be worn since they are a suit.  Also, Us Guys can appreciate them more if we can see them.

 Just a suggestion...


What a Beautiful View of the Ocean


Reasons Why I Have Broken Up With a Girl - #1 Clowns

I am a happily married man, but I have had some girlfriends in the past.  I am a little picky and I have been told by my friends I am kind of like Jerry Seinfeld when it comes to dating.  If you remember, Seinfeld would date these great girls, but there would be one little thing wrong with them and he just couldn't get over it.  I have that same problem. 

So I got to thinking of some of the reasons I have broken up with girls in the past.  WOW!!  I am beginning to realize that I was way too picky!!!  I broke up for some stupid reasons.  I am going to start a list and post a new reason every now and then.  Feel free to comment or "Bash" me, I can take it!!!

#1 - She was a Clown

No, I don't mean a clown like an idiot.  I mean a real clown.  This girl I was dating my sophmore year at Texas was working her way through college in an entertainment group.  This group would perform funny shows at elementary schools, birthday parties, etc.  She was a clown!!! 

Her being a clown was a little weird and freaky, but there was something even more disturbing to me.  One time, I went over to her apartment and she was practicing making those balloon animals.  For me, the sound of a twisting balloon gives me the heebie jeebies. I sat there for about 30 minutes listening to that wicked sound and nodding politely every time she asked me "Does this look good?"  About a week later, the same thing happened.  It was driving me crazy.   The next night, we were at dinner and I asked her how long she planned on doing this "Clown Thing".  She told me it was good money and wanted to do it until she graduated (2 and a half more years). 

Needless to say, we broke up on the next date.

The Vaseline High Five Prank

I Know What I am Doing This Weekend!!!

Can I Sign Him Up?

This kid is one and a half years old and he kicks the soccer ball better than many older kids.  Is there anyway I can try to pass him off as a High Schooler?  He could play striker for me.  :)

The Only Advertisement Adidas Ever Needs

If Adidas wants to dominate the Sporting Goods Market in the Male 14-99 age category, I suggest that they take this pic and incorporate it into every sing one of their advertisements!  I am gonna start buying Adidas!

PS:  If any of those Madison Avenue Marketing firms wants to hire a Marketing, Advertising and P.R. genius...I am available!!!


Advice From Lanthie About My Pregnant Friend

Matt, I have just read your post about your dear friend who has now fallen pregnant for the third time in about 3 years and now wants you to become the Godfather. (for those of you who missed this post, read it here)

My alarm bells immediately went off.  What this woman needs is a box of condoms and possibly a lobotomy and you need to find a nice way of telling her this.  Perhaps she has a birthday coming up and you can wrap a box or 2 of condoms up as a gift.  In today's world, there is really no excuse for any consenting woman to fall pregnant.  Go on the pill for goodness sake.

I mean really - her first baby daddy wanted to become a woman, that's just real creepy and then it gets worse.  She decides to go through a promiscuous phase and falls pregnant again after a one night stand. And then it gets even worse.......

She falls pregnant again after just 9 months.  I'm glad daddy no 3 is sort of in the picture.  But you say he hits women - not sure he is worthy of the title of daddy or a man.  He sounds like a real douche and as you say, "A worthless piece of shit".  You have to talk her out of moving in with him at all costs.

Not sure how she plans on looking after her kids and it is going to be real difficult for her to find a man who is willing to take the whole lot on.  She is blessed to still have friends like you around.

I am not very religious but being a Godfather comes with all sorts of responsibilities.  Are you ready for them?  Quite honestly I think you should sit her down and explain that you have too much on your plate to accept this huge responsibility.  And then run!

I Wish I Had Time to Climax

Unfortunately, I was in a hurry and had to pass it by.  I am talking about Climax, Michigan which is just off of I-94.  Get your Heads Out of the Gutter People!!!


Want To Know What NBA Players Say When The Mic Isn't Around?

Ever wonder what your favorite NBA players are saying off mic? Well, the wait is over.  You don't have to wonder anymore.  HILARIOUS video but there is some strong language.  You have been warned!

I Thought Your Wedding Day Was Supposed to be The Happiest Day of your Life

...Something tells me this couple is off to a bad start!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

MS. Bikefest Bikini Contest

Another Bikini Contest Video...Need I say more?

Here are some more Sexy Bikini Contest Videos and pics.  

Summer is Almost Here!


That means girls in bikinis riding bikes!!!  That is Katee Owen (aka Katee Life)...BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE!

You can watch the whole Video here!

Our Favorite Lingerie - Underboob Lingerie

I am in Heaven!  There is actually lingerie out there that is made to accentuate the underboob!  God Bless Whoever Came Up With This!!!

Want to see some more of "Our Favorite Lingerie?"  Click Here!

Who Will Win The Battle of the Gorilla Vs. The Goose?



What do you expect from a Gorilla with a Diaper on?

WTF - A Dual Use Plunger?

Not sure about you, but this sure looks like a toilet plunger with Anal Beads on the Handle.  I would call this a "Dual Use" plunger!!!


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