Saturday, October 19, 2013

Which One? - 2nd of the Day

My choices: 1,4,3 and 2 in that order!  Although all would be nice  :)



Even More Tough Decisions – Check out our NSFW “Which One” Pics.  

Which One? - We offer Diversity!



Even More Tough Decisions – Check out our NSFW “Which One” Pics.  

Is This a Dress or Lingerie?


Whatever you call it, she sure does fill it out nicely!

Somebody is More Obsessed With Jenna Marbles Than We Are!

Some dude made a YouTube video of a bunch of Jenna Marbles' Pictures.  I would say he is obsessed.

Jenna - Will you now, please, drop the restraining order against us???  :)

Doctor Gets More Than He Bargained For

This Joke was Sent to us by Randy Jackson, from Houston, Texas.  Thanks!!!!

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is blown away by how stunningly awesome she is that all his professionalism goes right out the window..He tells her to take off her pants, she does and he begins to start rubbing her thighs."Do you know what I'm doing?" The doctor asks. She replies "Yes, checking for abnormalities"He then tells her to take off her top and bra and begins fondling her breasts and asks "Do you know what I'm doing now? She replies "Yes, checking for cancer"Finally he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table and starts having sex with her. He says to her "Do you know what I'm doing now?"She replies "Yes, getting herpes that's why I'm here"

 Here are our other "Reader's Jokes."  Send those jokes in and we will try and post them ASAP.  Email your jokes to semi.madman@gmail.com.  THANKS!!!

The Head, The Heart and The Penis

This joke comes from our blog contributor Ng Eng Hou.  
Read his blog: http://luv2sex.info/
Follow him: @enghou on Twitter | ngenghou on Facebook


Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question. 
  
Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are! You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow." 
  
"Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK.
  
Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon.
  
After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" 
"What is it?" she cried excitedly. 
  
"OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " The couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber. 
  
At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly. 
  
So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked the big question. 
  
"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 
  
seconds." 
  
"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. 
  
"Very good.  Six seconds." "Eh, uh, the heart?" 
  
"Very good! Four seconds." 
  
"I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning...
  
"That's close enough!" said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!!"

Musicians Read Mean Tweets

I love this segment on the Jimmy Kimmel Show!


Ever See an Ostrich Ski?

Watch this and then you can say "Now I Have!!!"


Friday, October 18, 2013

Felicia Ganci is Wearing "Our Favorite Lingerie"

I have no idea who Felicia Ganci is, but she is beautiful.  And Blue is my co-favorite color (Along with Purple), so these pictures are making me crazy!!!


Want to see some more of "Our Favorite Lingerie?"  Click Here!

Thank God For Mirror and Digital Cameras!




Which One? - Three Buxom Girls

The three in question are buxom models Taylor Stevens, Jordan Carver and Wendy Fiore. You can't really go wrong here!



Even More Tough Decisions – Check out our NSFW “Which One” Pics.  

Zarah Pacheco in One of Our Favorite Bikinis - Love the Rainbow Pattern!

Fitness Model Zarah Pacheco is looking Fit as Hell in this sexy colorufl Bikini!!!!!!




Check Out All of Our Favorite Bikinis

Weird Sex

Another Joke From Cyanide and Happiness:


Free Advice Fridays - Advice from a Reader with a Small Penis

This was sent to us by Greg, a reader from the Chicago area.  He claims to have a small penis and we believe him since there aren't many that would own up to it.  Here is his advice for other guys with small dicks:


I'm a middle aged guy with a smaller than average penis. On a good day it can exceed 4 inches in length, but it's never going to reach even the smallest of the researched average lengths that are quoted for the penis length.
However, here are a few facts and observations from my (IMHO) interesting and varied sex life:
  1. Despite my having fantasized about SPH and cuckoldry, no woman has ever rejected me due to my penis size.
  2. No woman has ever laughed at my penis size (discounting my ex-wife who was a little bitter after our breakup!)
  3. No woman has ever claimed that my penis was insufficient to give her an orgasm. It's usually the case that a woman either can or can't (most can't) orgasm during PIV sex, regardless of penis size.
  4. The only time I'm ever really self conscious about my penis size is in the company of other heterosexual men. I'm more concerned about locker room comparison of my flaccid size than I am about my erect size (which only gay or bisexual men have seen!).
  5. I've had a lot of anal sex with women - a non-threatening penis is a good start in that area!
  6. I've spent some time on nudist beaches and I've found it's a great way to desensitize those penis-size worries. You'll see all shapes and sizes - You are not alone!
  7. Self acceptance is hard to achieve. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like to have a big cock, but that's never going to happen. So guys, the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be happy.
  8. Having a small penis has driven me to perfect my sexual skills in other areas like oral, fingering, etc. Believe me if you can bring a woman to orgasm with your mouth, you'll always be popular!
  9. Yes, OK, there are women that prefer a bigger penis, but so what?! Don't feel threatened or get all defensive, or call her a slut, it's just her preference and one to which she's entitled. There's nothing worse than a guy with a small penis chip on his shoulder.
So guys, The sooner you learn not to give a fuck, the sooner that confidence will shine through.

My Real Advice for the 23 Year Old Cutie I Met at the Bar Last Night

So I met this nice 23 year old girl at a bar on last night.  We had a nice long conversation about everything; life, politics, and your future career in environmental design.  Then you asked me, a man who is over a decade older than you "What have you learned over the last ten years or fifteen years that you think I should know?" I threw out the normal things like “Go for your dreams” and “Don’t hold Back” and “Don’t become to focused or narrow your vision because you never know where you will end up in life or your career.”  The more we talked, the more I thought about it.  I should have offered you some better advice, but I was on the spot and when I finally thought of what to say, your big boyfriend full of muscles showed up and took you away (All the while giving me a death stare – I am glad he was threatened by me though!)  Since I didn’t get to give you my advice in full, I am offering it to you now.  I hope you read this.
First off, your boyfriend is a dumbass and you need to dump him.  If he is your normal boyfriend type, you need to think of moving up.  I am not saying this because I found you attractive and want you for myself – I know there is no chance of that.  Your boyfriend is inconsiderate, rude and has no social skills.  I noticed he was sitting at a table near the bar chatting with all of his guy friends.  He just left you alone, at the bar.  What kind of dumbass does that?  He talks like a dumbass and you said he already had a kid and dropped out of college his freshman year. He has been divorced once and also had an engagement called off.  And the guy is 26 years old.  He works in a Gas station for Christ’s sake!  And you told me he was working his 4th job in two years due to him skipping work too often and then getting fired.  Usually, when a guy is 26, he has some kind of “life-plan.”  Something tells me this a-hole has none. 
You have a college degree and have already started working on your Master’s degree.  You have a great entry-level position and you said you are making some Big-bucks for your first job (I think you said $55,000 a year!)  Let’s exam this situation:  Your loser boyfriend is going to be living off of you for the rest of your life if you stay with him.  Hell, he asked you for money everytime he bought drinks for him and his buddies! Soon, you are going to be making his child-support payments!  And where the hell is he getting the $$$ to buy his steroids?  His muscles can’t be natural…
Yes, the dude is full of muscles and a good-looking guy, but there is more to a relationship than looks (Check out our Cherries and Advice Column that addressed this very topic.)
You deserve sooo much better! I'm not saying you should get with me or anything, I'm in my thirties and starting to show some signs of age (Although I am available if you are interested).  You live in a big city that is full of guys in their 20’s who would be so much better for you than this dude. Find a guy with a college degree and/or a decent job, one in which the dude has a future to move up the ladder.  Most garage mechanics don’t have many chances for career advancement.   

For some reason, we talked about Sex and the high number of STD’s in society lately.  You then told me that you don’t need to worry cause your guy is clean.  You also thought the whole STD thing wasn’t as bad as people say it was.  I believe you told me it was a “Ruse set up by the drug companies to sell more STD drugs and condoms.” 
OH Young beauty!  You need to wise up and be very careful!  All of those Valtrex commercials on TV are there because there are a ton of people out there with Herpes.  Let me tell you, it is common and it is bad enough that people are willing to spend a ton of money to treat it and it is going to be around for a long long time.  You told me you don’t know anyone who has herpes.  You know why?  It is because they don’t go around broadcasting that news to their friends.  Especially the guys!  Me can be carriers and not have any symptoms yet they can still pass it on to you.  And your current boyfriend – watch out!  I saw him flirting with the waitress and a few girls at another table.  All it takes is for him to get a little crazy with a chick (A girl who doesn’t tell him she has herpes” and then he gets it and passes it on to you. Hell, he could already be a carrier! 
I have never, ever had an STD (Knock on Wood), mostly because I don’t get laid all that often and I also use a condom on those rare occasions when I do get laid.  I always wrap it up!  You should too!  Use a condom young woman!  (That’s pretty good advice right there.)

And our conversation about your career: Honestly, I am not sure what Environmental design is.  I have heard of environmental science.  I am not sure how you design and environment.  I am guessing you meant some type of city planning dealing with parks, etc.  I wish you luck in that.  With everyone going green, that sounds like a good career choice.  You have a nice job now and I hope you get a bump up when you finish your Master’s cause you are gonna need it if you are going to support your loser of a boyfriend for the rest of his life!!!!!!!!!


Vintage Friday

The beautiful Sophia Loren




Lanthie Ransom

This is Kind of Creepy

This is a GIF of a Dad trying to teach his infant to walk.  WEIRD and very WTF!!!



 Everything “WTF” on this blog

Free Advice Friday - Good Advice to Live By


Some Free Advice on this Friday from blog contributor Ng Eng Hou.  
Read his blog: http://luv2sex.info/

GOOD ADVICE TO LIVE BY
 
If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep. 
 
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention. 
 
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
 
The best vitamin for making friends....B1. 
 
The 10 commandments are not multiple choice. 
 
The happiness of your life depends on the quality  of your thoughts. 
 
Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open. 
 
Ideas won't work unless YOU do. 
 
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time. 
 
One who lacks the courage to start has already finished. 
 
The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge. 
 
Don't learn safety rules by accident. 
 
We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves. 
 
Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise. 
 
A turtle makes progress when it sticks it's head out.
 
One thing you can give and still keep...is your word. 
 
A friend walks in when everyone else walks out. 
 
AND FINALLY... 
 
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!!!
 
-- Author Unknown 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Please Push Play - You will thank me for it!!!



Which One? - Schoolgirl Edition

This is a tough, tough decision!

Even More Tough Decisions – Check out our NSFW “Which One” Pics.  

OMG - THAT IS THE PERFECT GYM BODY!


LOOK AT THAT ASS!!!

A Few More of Our Favorite Dresses






Check out our other "Favorite Dresses"

submit to reddit

Thong Thursdays - Thong in a Sports Bar

This is my kind of Sports Bar!!!

Don't forget to check out all of our other Thongs that have made an appearance on "Thong Thursdays!"

This Girl Is Ready For St. Patricks Day 5 Months Early

She is looking very Green - DAMN!  That means I can't pinch her...

For Comic Book Fans - Guest Post

I got an email from a friend of mine in Mexico who is a comic book junkie.  A while back, I extended an invitation for people to send their posts to me and I will, from time to time, post some of the better ones that I receive.

This post comes from Ricardo Martinez.  He does not have his own blog, but likes to write in his spare time.  As you can see, he likes comic books too.  I am not a comic book fan and really have no clue what he is talking about here, but I know many of my readers love comic books, so here you go.  Enjoy!


This is a great superhero pic I found. It is the Avengers vs. the Justice League of America.

As a comic book fan, I could name each and every one of these characters, but that would take forever so I am going to focus on the main ones.  Let's see who would win in this showdown Marvel's Avengers are on the left, DC's JLA is on the right. So, from the top:

The Vision vs. Martian Manhunter
This is one of DC's few victories. The Vision is an android and is kind of a rip off. Plus Martian Manhunter's real alien name is J'onn J'onz (John Jones.) Cheeky!

LIttle Background People I Don't Care About
Green Girl vs Fire girl  - don't know, don't care. Hercules vs some Roman chick - huh? Glowing Guy vs Cape Guy - think these may be super old school guys. Not sure.

She-Hulk vs. Wonder Woman
This is win-win!

Black Falcon vs Hawkman
Another DC win. Hey, Marvel. Here's a tip. He is just The Falcon and he happens to be a black guy. Plus Hawkman has a morning star.

Green Guy vs John Henry Steel
Don't know who the Marvel guy is, so anther DC victory. (Even if Shaq did portray him.)

Namor the Submariner vs. Aquaman
Do we really need to get into this? Probably the most one sided fight going down here. Aquman has a really cool new story where he cuts off his own hand to save the life of his infant son. He now has a spear grafted to his arm instead. But he is still Aquaman. Namor on the other hand has always been a severe bad-ass.

Quasar vs. Firestorm
Just sad I know who these guys are.



Black Widow vs. Unknown DC chick
Did you see Iron Man 2? Did you see Scarlet Johansen in a black leather cat suit?

Black Panther vs. Blue Guy
It is OK if the superhero has "black" in the name and happens to be a black guy if the persona is also black in color. Marvel.

Iron Man vs. Green Lantern
This is a mismatch. Iron Man, billionaire playboy with no super powers and cool weapons, obviously has more in common with Batman, whom he would demolish. Marvel wins. Green Lantern is a cosmic sentinel which makes him more of a match for the Silver Surfer (not an Avenger.) GL stands no chance against the Surfer. But in this match up Tony Stak should get his lunch handed to him.

Thor vs. Superman
I know, I know. Superman is Superman. But Thor is a god! All he has to do is drag Kal-el's ass to a planet with a red sun and that's the end of that.

More Background People
Tiger Chick (Feral?) vs Purple Chick (Raven?) - don't know either, but the purple chick is shakin' in her boots. Giant Man vs Iron Mask Guy - don't know who the DC guy is or why he seems to be throwing Giant Man for a loop, but my money is still on the 20 ft tall dude. Ms. Marvel vs. Marvel Girl - DC shouldn't use the adjective "marvel" for anything. I think that may be Wonder Man vs. Shazam (Captain Marvel) -I'll give DC that one too. Extend-o Arm Guy vs Plastic Man - Again, just a stupid super power. Yellow Power Chick vs White Power Chick - who cares.

Quicksilver vs. The Flash
Draw.

Hawkeye vs. Green Arrow
Draw.

The Scarlet Witch vs Magician Chick
Don't know who the lame DC character is, but based on costume alone Marvel has this wrapped up.

Random Foreground People
The Beast vs Unfortunate Hairdo Chick - The Beast is a ringer from the X-Men. That is cheating a little. Way to go, Marvel! And the Wasp vs Some Tiny Dude - are they fighting over who is smaller?

and finally...

Captain America vs. Batman
Well, here we are at last. Two guys everyone knows. This is a weird match up though. As stated above, Batman should be getting blow'd up by Iron Man. I like Batman. How can you not? But Captain America actually has superpowers. And stands for freedom and liberty and killing Nazis. And when Captain America throws his mighty shield, all those who dare to oppose must yield! Advantage: Cap.

So true believers, until next time keep fighting the good fight. And make mine Marvel!

These Movies May Make Men Grab a Tissue

I remember years ago watching Remember the Titans with a buddy of mine, and he said it’s on a short list of movies he can admit to crying during. This led me to assemble a list of the "All Time Greatest Male Tear Jerker Films" in no particular order.  So here they are:  (Mind you, I did not necessarily cry while watching these, but many men have.)

1. Old Yeller (1957): Just about everyone has lost a dog, or some other pet,  at some point in his/her life. Sure, not all of us have shot our frothing at the mouth dog in our backyard, but it is traumatizing no matter how your pet dies. 

2. Hoosiers (1986): That scene at the end when Gene Hackman is giving his speech and they are zooming in on the picture . . . I have to admit I did have a tear or two form, but I did not cry.  They stayed in my eyes, giving them a watery glossy look. 

3. Field of Dream (1989): “Dad, do you want to have a catch?” That’s all I have to say, ladies and gents.

5. Rudy (1993): Didn’t we all want him to finally get in a game? And then when he gets that meaningless sack on the quarterback, you could hear people choking up and cheering at the same time.  Me - I hate Notre Dame and I have to admit, I was not very moved by it, but I know many guys that have. 

6. Electric Horseman (1979): This one gets me every time when Robert Redford talks about his reasoning for setting the horse free, and there is a likeness between the aging rodeo star and the aging racehorse. It may not be on most people's lists, but I have to admit that it gets me every time (no tears, but close.)

7.  Big Daddy (1991):  When Adam Sandler is making the speech in the courtroom about the relationship between a kid and his dad, then everyone starts calling their parents.  As a father, that one got me big time. 

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY FILMS TO ADD TO THIS LIST? WHICH FILMS HAVE I MISSED.

How Can We End Racism in the United States?

Race Relations – How can we fix racial inequality and stamp out Racism?

If you want to stop racism and bigotry, I believe you need to focus 100% on education. Maybe we need to overhaul our education system – Give all groups equal access to equally funded schools. Right now, that is not happening. There are huge differences in our education system from school to school.

We need to stop worrying about the 10% of idiots who make racist jokes and have been raised in an atmosphere or Racism and bigotry. This group is a lost cause. They will soon die out anyway.

We need to focus on the young people. If we can stop our kids from becoming racist, you have pretty much won the battle. If the next generation of Americans are raised to embrace diversity and treat everyone as equals, then the future generations will be taught the same. Right now, the majority of Racist kids are racist because they have idiot parents who are racist. These parents teach their kids to hate anyone that is different from them. If we can teach them otherwise in school, that will go a long way in ending Racism in America.

Senators Have to Choose Heaven or Hell

I have no idea where this joke originated, but it has been burning up the internet ever since the government shut down.  In case you haven't read it, here it is:

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning,
Today, you voted.."

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Val Keil is Wearing "Our Favorite Lingerie"



Want to see some more of "Our Favorite Lingerie?"  Click Here!

Our Favorite Dress - Black and White Stripes



Our Hottie of the Day Has a Beautiful Face

We don't know here name, but we fell in love with her face!

 If anyone knows her name, please let us know in the comments.

Check out our Former Hotties of the Day!

I Like Those Bags!

Very, Very Stylish.  Those Black Handbags are Must Haves!!!


Ladies - How Many of You Agree With This?


Flying over My Hometown - Sweet Chicago

Took this wonderful pic as I was flying back to Chicago this week.

Find Her For Me, Please!

I WANT TO MARRY THIS WOMAN!!!!  

Long Lost JFK and Jackie O Foto


When I saw this picture on the internet, I thought it was a long lost foto of JFK and Jackie O.  Turns out it is really Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes, who played the first couple in a TV mini-series.  The likeness to the real-life Pres and first lady is uncanny.
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