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Smell Like Sulu

Star Trek Sulu Pour Homme Excelsior! Cologne

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My Neighbor's Dog Has an Interesting Pattern

Babies Have Accents

I am an English Professor.  I have also taught ESL (English as a Second Language) and Spanish in the past, so I study languages.  A fellow teacher sent me this link from a scientific journal.  The article argues that babies learn language nuances while in the womb, giving their cries distinctive accents once born. Researchers listened to thousands of babies from several countries and found those in France sound distinctly different from those in Germany, Spain and elsewhere. Here's a look at their findings:


In Germany, babies say "Güe güe gaga."
In France, babies say "A hoh hoh hoh!!"
In Spain, babies say "¡Goo goo gagá!"
In Sweden, babies say "Gøø gøø gåå."
In China, babies say "咕咕加加"
In Japan, babies say "夢."
In Boston, babies say "Yankees suck."
In the United Kingdom, babies say "Pip pip cherrio wah wah and all that."

All kidding aside, very interesting study.

Canadian Muay Thai Fighter Knocks Himself Out

This guy tries to do a flying kick and lands on his own head, knocking himself out.  You can hear some of the people in the crowd laughing.  I would have been laughing along with them.



I think this goes to show you that Canadians should stick to Hockey, Curling and Snowball Fights!

Hickies -- Not Just for Teens

Yesterday at work, I was in a meeting with some women from another department, and I'll shocked to notice that one of them, a single mother of 4 in her early forties, wasn't sporting a dark purple hickie on the side of her neck.

Personally, I haven't had a hickey since was in my early 20's.  I never was a big fan of them.  Once you have one, you can't really play the field until the damned thing wears off (although there are a few chicks who dig it I found out -- Most of them fairly slutty).  Anyway, seeing this near-Milf (She is probably a 6.5) sporting a kink-mark got me thinking: at what age do you look just plain ridiculous with a hickey? Or is it a proud badge of "I'm Gettin' Some" that should be displayed whenever possible?  I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  

Dirty Mouth

Great Orbitz Gum Commercial!

My Grandma Could Make That Shot!

Let's go to the Brazilian Professional Soccer League, where some of the best players in the world get their starts.  Here we see Flamengo striker Deivid missing an open net tap-in shot.  What's worse was that the score was tied at 1-1 when this happened. Flamengo went on to lose  2-1.   I am sure Deivid has gone into hiding!

Give This Kid Credit...

He got closer to Megan Fox than most of you ever will!!!!

Free Advice Friday - My Advice To Use Whenever You Do Something That Involves Performing

This edition of Free Advice Friday is going to be short, sweet and simple.  It is advice that I give to everyone whenever they have to perform something.  This includes musical performances, athletics, school projects (speeches, drama, etc.), business tasks, etc.  This advice can really be used for just about anything. They are so simple, they will be easy to remember and there are only two of them.


Here Goes:
1. Perform better than you did when you were practicing the task
2. Suck less than you did when you were practicing the task


The SMM (Semi-Madman) has spoken!  That is all for now...

First Look at RGIII's New Adidas Commercial

It appears that former Baylor QB and Heisman Trophy Winner Robert Griffin III is now the King at Adidas. Here is his new commercial:
 
I wish him well and hope he has a great NFL career.

I Need To Party With Mark Cuban

As a Texan, Dallas Mavs fan and former party-goer in all of Dallas' Hotspots (including Greenville Ave.) I like what Mark Cuban is doing and send him a personal message:  FLY ME DOWN THERE FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!  PLEASE  :)

It appears Mark Cuban, Multi-Billionaire, Dallas Mavs owner, Shark Tank dude and overall cool guy, is going to pay for a massive St. Paddy's Day Parade and drunk fest.

“I just thought it was fair that more people should be able to kill as many brain cells on Greenville Avenue as I have in my life," [Dallas Mavericks owner Mark] Cuban said. I passed out in many of the booths there. I said if I have lost enough brain cells there everybody will get that opportunity, too."


While I was at UT, I had several friends who were going to SMU and we would meet up and go to the bars on Greenville.  I have killed a few brain cells there as well.  Makes me wonder if I ever came across Cuban in my party days.

Here is a pic of Mark in his party days doing a clothed and drunken 69er.

Actually, I am kind of disappointed in this pic.  I thought Cuban would have a big haired, Texas Blondie stripper or something.  I guess this was before he made his billions.

Anyway, give me a call and I will get on your private jet and head down to Dallas next month.  And don't worry readers, I will take pics and write about all of the wacky adventures we have!

She Needs Better Camouflage

Khloe Kardashian Breaks a Sex Swing

Khloe Kardashian decides to make her sex life a little kinky.  She sets up a sex swing for her and her Hubby Lamar Odom in their Bedroom.  Let's see...Khloe is not exactly Petite and Lamar is like 6'10" and about 240 lbs.  That is not exactly a good combination for a sex swing.  Let's watch the result, shall we:



Luckily, I have never broken any sex swings.   I'm just sayin'!!!

Financial Literacy

Reprinted from my old blog, exactly one year ago today.

The topic of Financial Literacy has come up several times during in the past year during staff and Student Support meetings.  It is something that definitely needs to be addressed in schools throughout the United States.

I think that kids who come from low socioeconomic backgrounds are the ones who need the most exposure to new technologies and entrepreneurial skills so that they have an equal opportunity in competing with those from more affluent backgrounds in the future.

I used to teach social studies and I remember this conversation I had in class one day.  I had some bright kids there.

Student 1: "Sir, what happens if I get hurt before I'm 65? Do I get my Medicare money?"

me: "No."

Student 1: "Aww that's MESSED UP! I'm going to college so I can get a job that covers my health insurance."

Student 2: "I like gross pay."

Student 3: "That was fun! I'd rather be an employer, even if I have to hand out paychecks and make sure all the bills are paid on time. I'd rather call the shots."

Me: "It's important to know the components of your paycheck so you know where all your money is going. What if they did a miscalculation?! They'd be stealing all your hard-earned money!"

Student 4: "Net pay is the money you get to keep after all the deductions are made. So if you originally had $2800, then your net pay would be about $2000, because you have to pay federal income tax, social security, state tax and medicare."

Like I said, I had some bright kids.  They really picked up on things.

Now imagine if we started teaching Financial Literacy to all of our students.  Wouldn't it be great if we had students that were financially aware getting out of high school.  They could know how to invest their money, save money, not abuse credit cards, etc.  It would make life easier for all -- including us older folks who have to help pay off the money that young adults lose for banking and credit companies.  When they default on loans or don't pay credit card bills, we are the ones that end up paying through higher finance charges and rates.

Tell your school districts you want your kids to be taught financial literacy because in the long run, we all we gain from it.

AfterSchool Specials and Suicide Girls - Nice Combo!

A buddy sent me this picture.  Not sure if this was ever a real ABC Afterschool special or not, but I think they need to make a 2012 version of it and actually show it.  That is my big fear of my kids.  One of them is going to come home one day with piercings, bad hair, freaky clothes and be a punker or something.  I would have no idea how to handle it.  I don't even want to think about it, but I am right now while writing this post so I better stop writing and post the picture.  Otherwise, something bad might happen!!!  UGH!!

Weird thing is that I kind of get turned on by punk/emo chicks.  The piercings and the tattoos -- I love it.  The Suicide Girls are Hot!  What does that say?  Double-Standard?  Maybe.  I guess it is just different when it is your son or daughter dressing and living that way.  

Udder Nonsense

A friend sent me this.  He took this picture while driving in West Texas, somewhere near Marfa, Texas.

That is a Lucky Dude!

This is one lucky dude!  There is no way he planned this:

Hilarious Webcam Fail

Just when you thought you were doing a nice little private dance for someone, this happens. 

Talk about poor timing!

Channel Five in Britain ran a promo for Whitney’s Addictions: Death of a Diva. Immediately (really, immediately) following on run of the promo came an ad for Wonga.com in which a puppet says, "She looks better in a body bag."

Ch. 5 did print and broadcast this message:  "We apologize if any viewers were offended by the proximity of the promotional trail for Channel 5′s Whitney Houston documentary and an advert . This was an unfortunate oversight and we have taken the appropriate steps to ensure that this does not happen again.”

Extreme Hula-Hooping

This Chick can Hula-Hoop.  Maybe it is the Furry Legwarmers that give her the "Hoop Power"



You know, I have tried Hula-Hooping (Is that even the correct term, Hula-Hooping?) a ton of times.  My record:  25 seconds.  So I basically suck at it!

Terrifying Tuesday - This is just Strange!

I don't even know what to say about this series of pictures.  Just check them out and leave a comment if you want to.  Weird stuff!!!

30 Go Green Tips for Teachers

I would like to bring to your attention a post written by Suzane Smith entitled:  “30 Go Green Tips for Teachers to Introduce to the Classroom” http://www.x-raytechnicianschools.org/30-go-green-tips-for-teachers-to-introduce-to-the-classroom/. 

She has some great ideas for teachers to "Go Green" in the classroom.  I already do some of the things and I am planning on trying to implement other items from the list.  

Thanks Suzane.  

This Gangsta Just Lost his "Cred"

Dude, seriously!!!  Why would any guy take a picture next to a "Hello Kitty" Car.  I could see my 8 year-old daughter doing this, but a teenager.  And to add to the stupidity, he is posing all gangsta like and flashing signs.  Give me a break dude.  You lost any coolness you had when you took this pic!

P.S. - If you are a gangbanger, you better pray your fellow "Homies" never see this pic or your ass is gonna get beat down.  Good luck

Roadside Jesus' Periodic Table of Rockin'

A friend posted this on his facebook page a while back.  Enjoy!

It is an interactive Periodic Table of Rockin'.  You can click on the "elements" and info comes up about each band.  Here is the intro from the site. 

The site is maintained by Roadside Jesus.  I have to say Mr. Jesus - WELL DONE!!!
Well worth your time.

It's Another Manic Monday!

I have a bad feeling about this week, that is why I started my day off with this 80's classic video.  Remember The Bangles? 



I thought Susanna Hoffs was the Hottest!  Of course I was in like 7th grade when this song came out, but I wanted to marry her!!!  I am going to have to find out whatever happened to her.

Anyway, Enjoy your Monday!

My Thoughts on Sunday

Today is Sunday!  Sunday, what a day.  I just posted this on Facebook and thought it is worthy of a blog post to start this Sunday off. 

Sunday - I have mixed emotions about this day. It is usually a lazy, relax at home day. But knowing I have to go back to work tomorrow is always hanging out in the back of my head, so that takes a whole bunch of the relaxation out of the day.  I guess I am kind of neutral about Sunday.  At least I am home and can spend it with my family and that is great, but knowing the weekend is over brings a tinge of sadness to the day  :(

BONERS

The Amazing Rubber Band - I am onto Something!

The rubber band is Incredible!  I have been thinking and I have come up with a plan to rid the world of their reliance on Oil!!!  Yes, I - A Semi-Madman, The Ultra-Blogger, the Man with a Plan - I have developed something that will win me the Nobel Prize of Science and probably the Nobel Peace Prize.  Who would of thunk it - The unassuming Rubber Band could cure the world of all of its problems!  Yes, the simple, plain rubber band, known to all of us, is a safe, reliable source of renewable energy. I have been told that this information will be rejected by the government and oil execs, but hear me out.

Back when I was a kid, even with old fashioned rubber bands, I was able to get almost 60 seconds of powered flight from my rubber-band powered airplane (remember those sticks with a plastic wing piece?).  I believe that back then, the government put a halt to research on this and it was shelved until today.  People forgot about it and it was put into our collective minds that this is just a childish thing and has no scientific value at all.  DAMN YOU GOVERNMENT "SCIENTIST"!  I am here to set the record straight and bring rubber band research back to the forefront of science and technological research.  Think where we could be today if research on the rubber band were permitted to continue in the 60's, 70's and 80's!

And why did the powers that be stifle rubber-band technology and continue to do so until this day? For the same reason they scuttled the development of the moter that burned ordinary air for fuel. Of course the air-burning engine is a lot more complex than rubber band technology... but I digress.  The powers that be are the government and Oil corporations.  They have big money invested in Oil and gas and do not want anything to "De-value" their product.  I am amazed that Solar and Wind power have gotten as far as they have.

Had the vast oil-wing conspiracy not put the brakes on rubber band technology, we would now have been witnessing home heating, public transportation, electrical production, and a host of other applications all run on rubber band power!

Especially with so many more people in prison, who could spend their days winding rubber bands for use in civilian life. Talk about a renewable resource!! Plus you could convert wind and water power to winding rubber bands!  Use those windmills to wind the bands.  Hoover Damn could probably wind a couple million rubber bands each day.  The use of infinitely renewable rubber band power is only limited by the imagination! Here's a list, just off the top of my head, of personal use items that could be switched to rubber band power from electrical battery power... The savings would be enormous!

digital cameras
cell phones, lap tops, IPods, GPS devices
flashlights
golf carts
mopeds
pace makers

We could start using rubber bands for these items and work our way up to air conditioning, heating, etc.  Eventually, we would have huge rubber band spinning plants and all of the world's energy could come from these plants.  Millions of convicts spinning rubber bands for the good of the world!  No waste, no pollution in the air, no disasters such as exploding power plants - This is the Perfect energy source!!!

I have done it!!!  I have reserved my place in history.  I will be forever known as "The man who ended Pollution and brought Peace to the World" (since there will not be anymore wars over oil).  I am a genius!  Get those Nobel Prizes ready for me.  Obama - I can't stand you and think you are a crappy president, but I will accept your invitation to the White House to honor me as the greatest American Inventor and Thinking of All-Time.

YOUR WELCOME!!!