The other night, there was nothing on TV and the wife and kids were out of the house. I was surfing the net and came upon the NFL’s online store. MAN! They have a wide variety of stuff for sale. Some of it interesting and some of it worthless. I was looking through the items and saw things that I knew would bring about the wrath and ire of my wife if I were to buy them. That is why I created this Post.
NFL Items that, If Bought, Would Lead to a Divorce
I am a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. I used to live in Texas and I have been to 7 or 8 Cowboys games at the old Texas Stadium. I have a ton of Cowboy's Memorabilla, but the above 5 foot Dallas Cowboys helmet would probably make my wife (and the neighbors) go crazy. Imagine that on my front lawn! It probably wouldn't last long anyway because there is a certain Philadelphia Eagles fan in town that has been known to "Take" my Cowboys items withouth asking. So it would be gone in a week or so.
This one is worse - the inflatable Patriot. Who would put that thing in their front yard? The thing looks like it could come to life and terrorize the city!
Seriously! Who would be caught dead wearing this? An ugly jacket with a bunch of patches on it. Reminds of something from the 70's. Or maybe the jackets you had in the 80's with all the pins of different pop groups on them. And why would you want every team? I am sorry, but I will never wear a jacket that has anything Green Bay or Washington on it!
Here is a Hat Case. This one is for the Detroit Lions, but you can get any team on it. Hat is not included. I guess if you have a special baseball cap, it is kind of cool. But the price is what would get me banned from the house. $109!!! $109 for a place to put your stupid cap! Give me a simple little hook for $2 and I will drill it into the wall.
Fatheads! If any man would start decorating their houses with Fatheads all over the place, I can guarantee you will be getting divorce papers in the mail within a week. Fatheads are stupid (unless it is a Fathead of yours truly). I guess I could see kids putting them up in their rooms, but a grown adult decorating the house with them? Not only is a divorce in the works, but you need to see a shrink.
Once again, I love the Cowboys but this is taking it a little too far! A Dallas Cowboys tree face ornament? I think in addition to getting a divorce, everyone in the neighborhood would probably hunt me down for this one. Do people actually buy these things?
If you can think of any other tacky, divorce-causing NFL gifts, leave a comment.