Saturday, July 28, 2012

Propeller Pasties

I honestly have no idea why I am posting this, other than propeller pasties are kind of cool!

Stripper Fail - What a fall from the Pole!

There’s nothing like falling on your face from 5 feet up while a bunch of dudes throw dollar bills at you.

Old Spice Olympic Commercial - HILARIOUS!!!

I am convinced that the writers for Old Spice Commercials are some of the funniest writers out there.  This is Hilarious!!!

Kitty Cat Gangbang!

Find the Cake

See if you can find the cake in this picture.  You may have to concentrate.  I promise, it is there!!!

Chatroulette Screenshots

So some friends of mine have told me about this site called Chatroulette.  Apparently you get online and you randomly get connected to people to video chat with them.  Sounds to me like nothing good could come from this.  I would never let my kids on there. 

Anyway, found some pics of some weird Chatroulette meetings.  I have never used it, so I am not sure how it works exactly - Maybe someone can explain it to me.  Anyway, looks like there are some weird people on there.

Google Maps Have a Sense of Humor!

You have to do this.  It is hilarious.

1.  Go to Google Maps
2.  Click "get driections'
3.  Set Start address as Japan
4.  Set End address as China
5.  Then check out direction #41.  I am still laughing!!!

"Man of Steel" Trailer for the Latest Superman Flick

Looks like this one might be good!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Are You Satisfied Honey?

Free Advice Friday - How To Have Sex in an Airplane (Milehigh Club edition)

Joining the Mile High Club isn’t easy. Airplane bathrooms, as we all know, are small and unpleasant, all leading to an incredibly non-romantic situation. So this is my disclaimer: I really don’t think doing this (having sex on a plane) is a good idea. But IF WE MUST, let’s do this thing the right way, shall we?
Chose A Seat In The Back Row. It will be less obvious when you get up and are in there… way longer than required. If you really want to fool everyone, don’t even sit next to each other. Then when you both get up, it will seem completely random.
Make A Plan. You two should probably have some sort of signal to meet at the bathroom, like blinking the light over your seat, getting something out of your bag, whatever.
Timing Is Everything. It’s best if you’re on an overnight flight, when passengers are sleeping and not in line for the bathroom. (Plus: the bathroom will be cleaner.) If it’s not an overnight flight, wait until the flight attendants are serving drinks. When they’re at the front of the plane, most people refrain from getting in line for the bathroom.
Enter And Exit The Restroom One At A Time. If you get caught, here is your story: One of you was sick! Look worried! But everything is okay now! Yes, that’s what the noise was about.
Um, Stand Up. That toilet is nasty. You both should face the door and press against the wall over your head, for resistance. The dude can stand behind and you both can just drop drawers a tad so that nothing has to touch the floor, which is also nasty.
Make It Snappy. You have less than 15 minutes before things start to look fishy, so master your quickie.

Check out our other Free Advice Friday Posts.  Remember, We are here to make your life easier!

Free Advice Fridays - How Not to Clean Windows

I was actually thinking of getting ready to clean my windows and do some other "Spring Things" this week since the weather had been in the 60's and 70's.  Then I wake up this morning and we have three inches of snow on the ground and it is still coming down!  What is up with this weather?  Global Warming?  I think not.

To satisfy my need to clean windows, I decided to devote this edition of "Free Advice Fridays" to just that...Cleaning Windows.  Specifically, how not to clean them. 

Hope this guy has insurance -- Stupidity Insurance!

400ft up, on the 34th floor of a hotel in Dubai

Not a Smart Guy!

Wonder Woman or Crazy Granny? 

It's Official - Mariah Carey to Be a Judge on American Idol!

And it is official - I will never watch American Idol again!!!

Swimming Pools and Summer and Fails!

It is so Freakin' Hot this summer! That means everyone is going to the pool.  Which means there are going to be alot of funny pool "Fail" Videos on Youtube.  Here are some of the best!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

NSFW! - All of the Sex Scenes from Game of Thrones

The Huffington Post thought it was time to look at the show's breadth of sex scenes to figure out if "Game of Thrones" is the non-stop T & A ... and P fest it's made out to be.
 After going through the entire series looking for every instance of sex and nudity, The Huffington Post discovered that in 20 hours of material, there is just a little over 15 minutes of, literal and figurative, naughty bits.
Watch the full compilation below to see what all the fuss is about.

Warning: The following video contains strong language and sexual content. It should not be viewed by those under 18. Thank you.

Weird Evil Trolls!

A reader and avid fan of this blog sent me this picture.  She was also a reader of my old blog and remember I went off on a rant about Trolls and how even they can be.  She had this picture taken after that post (about a year ago), but it was one of my last posts and the blog was down when she sent it.  She emailed me this week and reminded me about the picture.

A Big Thanks to Stacy S.  Very nice picture.  Very Sexy!  If you feel like sending me any other pics, feel free to do so.  I would love to see what your tattoo on your back is.  And Thanks for reading the Blog!!!

Our Favorite Songs - Stevie Ray Vaughan "Life by the Drop"

One of the greatest SRV songs of all-time.  Sit back and enjoy a little Austin, Texas Blues!

Random Thoughts - Insanity

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Why, Why, Why?

Why, Why, Why

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
If people evolved from apes,
Why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
Are not on sale?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Is This Woman Hot or Sexy?

Which is it?

The Humpy Dog Awards

The Humpy Awards celebrate a natural dog behavior: the leg humping. This dog humping competition was judged on speed, style, stamina, mount and dismount. 1st prize went to Miss Hope.

Jenna Marbles Misses Mexico!

This is Jenna Marbles.  She is Hot and she has a blog.  She was supposed to be in Cancun, Mexico but she couldn't go.  Jenna is pissed!  She decides to do a Vlog about it and tells shows us what she would have done if she was in Cancun.  Thank you Jenna!!!!

Unanswered Questions

Random Thoughts while pondering the Meaning of Life!
  • Can you cry under water?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… But it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
  • Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
  • Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They’re going to see you naked anyway..
  • Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
  • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
  • Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Vacation This Week

Both Enrique and I are on vacation this week. We still have posts as we auto-scheduled them throughout the week.  We won't be getting to your comments until the weekend, but that doesn't mean to stop commenting. We love your comments and read and respond to each one.

As for our vacations:
I am off to Boston to visit some friends and eat some clam chowder.
Enrique is going to L.A. for a "working" vacation.  At least that is what he says.  I believe the only work he will be doing is trying to pick-up women!

Have a great week!

P.S.  That is Petra Cubonova in the pic above.  What a Hottie!!!

Anal Fest???? - Yesterday Shipping has announced yesterday shipping.  They are brilliant over there!

Hoodie Pillow Case

If you have to wear a Hoodie to bed, then this might be just what you need!  Personally, I know nobody that wears a hoodie to bed, but to each their own!

Terrifying Tuesday -- Perhaps the Scariest Webpage on the Internet

I hope youa re ready for this one!!!  This page is so bad, it would probably scare the pants off the toughest dude in the world (Chuck Norris).  Here it is:

Click here for the Scariest page on the Web.

See Thru Wife Beater Shirts

I was walking my dog last night and I came across some chick who was also walking her dog.  She was wearing a see through wife beater with no bra on….unfortunately she was about 300 pounds, but I still saw nipple and a rather large areola.  She wasn't all that bad, if she was 150 pounds lighter, she woulda been at least a 7.5

Michael Phelps Official Olympic Headshot

This is Michael Phelps' 2012 official Olympics headshot. Couldn't you have at least shaved or combed your hair or something?

Oh Well, I guess it doesn't matter as long as you get the gold.

Penn State Sanctions

I am a little disappointed.  I feel they should have gotten the Death Penalty.  This is a program that put football ahead of everything, including the law and the well-being of innocent children.  Shame on you Penn St. and the NCAA!

At least Joe Paterno isn't the winningest coach in college football anymore!

Monday, July 23, 2012

It's Going to be Hot Tomorrow!!!

If it gets that hot, I don't think we need to worry about Wednesday and Thursday!

International Porn Flicks

Last night was a boy's poker night. As usual, we got together, played some cards, drank a lot of beer, and talked about sports, sex, and women. The conversation quickly turned to porn.

As many of you know, I was once a purveyor of porn. I have seen my share of Jenna Jameson getting her boobs squirted on or Chasey Lain getting banged by Ron Jeremy and Peter North. Unfortunately, I have not been watching a lot of porn as of late. I don't have time, nor the desire since, after awhile, it all becomes the same.

Anyway, I spent much of the 90's traveling abroad. I have been all over Asia and South America. One thing that these two areas have in common is a plethora of pirated videos, many of them pornos. I have had the good fortune to experience international porn. A couple of the other guys had also spent some time abroad and had seen their fair share of skin flicks from around the world as well.Here are some of our observations.

Thai porn - insufficient breast footage (maybe because there are not too many big breasted chicks in Thailand), Seems very rehearsed and unnatural. Cheap sets. A huge interest in She-Male porn. Much of the mainstream porn included at least the appearance of a transsexual or transvestite.

Indian porn - too much story, too little action; the music was very distracting, It seemed like the actresses were more concerned with actually acting rather than the sex. Like they would be found by some Bollywood producer.

Japanese porn - unhappy pissed off looking girls, odd fetishes. Too many knee-high sock and bukkake issues. Also, lots of bondage

French porn - hairy girls, always trying to look art-house. Nice lingerie and costumes though

German porn - very high quality, very dirty, hot girls. The girls would do anything. They would be peed on, shat on, forced to drink the cum of 20 men. Weird stuff. The Mercedes-Benz of filth.

East Euro porn - even hotter girls, no story or plot, just porn. It went from one scene straight to another. No lead in.

American porn - the gold standard. Thanks to everyone in the San Fernando Valley.

Italian porn - I think Italian porn was the best. The girls were the hottest, the sex scenes were beautifully shot, there was some decent acting, and the settings were elaborate. They treat it like a big time production. Very well done Italy.

--Enrique Santos


Looking over posts from my old blog and found this one.  Still haven't figured out what it was and it has been 2 years!!!

Japan gave us Godzilla, now they give us the inflatable white thingy with the Bullseye Above the head.

Hard Rugby KO in Australia!

South Sydney Rabbitohs (That's Russell Crowe's team) fullback Greg Inglis crushed and KO'd St George Illawara Dragons lock Dean Young in a recent National Rugby League match.  BRUTAL!!!! 

Open Letter to the Woman Standing Behind Me At Wal-Mart

Dear Woman Standing Behind Me At Wal-Mart,

Wow, from listening to your phone conversation it sounds like your family is going through some really hard times. What a pity...  Why is your mom such a bitch? And why was she SO MEAN to Jenny the other night at dinner? I mean, all Jenny did was make a simple joke about her beer and your mom flipped out! How does your father put up with her?!

And what about your father?  Maybe he is cheating on your mom because she is so mean and flips out for no reason at all.  And thanks for telling me that he is sleeping with "that whore that works at Wells Fargo"  You also gave her name, but I won't print that.  I am sure she appreciates having you blurt her name and workplace out in the check-out line at Wal-Mart for about 12 people to hear. 

What is up with the anniversary thing for next year?  Sounds to me like your parents are going to make it another year, but if they do I think going down to Branson sounds fabulous (the cruise would be better, but, as you said it would probably put them in debt for like 15 years)! And like you told Jenny, the trip to Branson is shorter so you will only have to put up with your parents for 5 days, not two weeks. 

Oh, and by the way...I CAN HEAR YOU! The person in front of me can hear you. The person behind you can hear you. You are standing 5 inches away from me. You are not in an invisible phone booth. Some conversations need take place in the privacy of your own home. I mean, what would your mother think!

Stop Airing Your Dirty Laundry In Public,


Dentist Appointment

I had a dentist appointment this morning. I hate the dentist.  The sounds of the drills freaks me out.  It would be a whole lot better if my dentist looked like one of these!

Scare A Scientologist!

Want to freak out a Scientologist?  It's easy!  Cut out this Katie Holmes Mask and sneak up to a scientologist you may know (I don’t!), and shout ‘Katie f***** Hates You’ or perhaps watch one of Katie’s immortal TV roles (I can’t think of any right now), or just get drunk and frighten the living daylights out of a friend. Whatever you choose, you will probably have to enlarge this one (unless you plan on your baby wearing it), and make sure your printer is overflowing with ink! And if you know any famous 5′ 2″ tall American male actors, just say hi!

--Enrique Santos

Mickey Mouse Spanks His Weiner

The 15, OOPS, 10 Commandments

From one of the funniest movies of all time, History of the World, Part I.  Mel Brooks is hilarious.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Blow Job Training or Dildo Testing?

This is...
A. Dildo Testing at Adam & Eve Adult Online Store Headquarters
B. New workout for facial/jaw muscles
C. Oral Sex training at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada
D. Horny women who want to remain celibate 
E. A group of girls I met a couple of hours ago practicing for an all-night session!

Personally, I wish it were E, but it isn't  :(  Which do you think it is or add your own guess as a comment

--Enrique Santos

McDonald's Sausage in Yo But for $1

What a Bargain!!!

Mistaken Identity - James Holmes of Littleton, Colorado

When police identified the Colorado theater shooting suspect as James Holmes, people flocked to Facebook to learn more about the alleged man behind the massacre. Instead, another James Holmes — a resident of Littleton, Colo., located about 15 miles from the scene of the crime — was bombarded on the social network with messages and friend requests from the public.

“I appreciate the fact that you are trying to become better-informed about the occurrences last night in Aurora, but you have been somewhat mislead, in that I am not the man who did it,” he wrote via a Facebook note. “I am not a 24-year-old gun-slinging killer from Aurora, I am a 22-year old book-slinging mass eater from Littleton.”

Joe Paterno Statue Finally Taken Down!

Penn State finally did the right thing and took down Joe Paterno's statue yesterday!  It was about time.  To think that they hesitated this long sickens me!

Penn State President Rodney Erickson issued a statement:

Throughout Penn State, the two most visible memorials to Coach Paterno are the statue at Beaver Stadium and the Paterno Library. The future of these two landmarks has been the topic of heated debate and many messages have been received in various University offices, including my own. We have heard from numerous segments of the Penn State community and others, many of whom have differing opinions. These are particularly important decisions when considering things that memorialize such a revered figure.

I now believe that, contrary to its original intention, Coach Paterno's statue has become a source of division and an obstacle to healing in our University and beyond. For that reason, I have decided that it is in the best interest of our university and public safety to remove the statue and store it in a secure location. I believe that, were it to remain, the statue will be a recurring wound to the multitude of individuals across the nation and beyond who have been the victims of child abuse.

On the other hand, the Paterno Library symbolizes the substantial and lasting contributions to the academic life and educational excellence that the Paterno family has made to Penn State University. The library remains a tribute to Joe and Sue Paterno's commitment to Penn State's student body and academic success, and it highlights the positive impacts Coach Paterno had on the University. Thus I feel strongly that the library's name should remain unchanged.

After taking down the statue, workers removed the Joe Pa quote (The one that read 'They ask me what I'd like written about me when I'm gone. I hope they write I made Penn State a better place, not just that I was a good football coach.') as well as several plaques and the metal players that were 'following' him.  I think Joe Pa's quote is kind of ironic.  He may have done alot of the university, but his legacy will always be about covering up one of the most heinous serious of crimes to ever occur on a college campus.

The "Dirty 16" Olympic Words!

The U.K. recently passed legislation barring non-Olympic sponsors from using the words Games, 2012, TwentyTwelve or Two Thousand Twelve, putting London's calendar and watch makers in a bind.

Street artists? They don't give a shit! They managed to work 2012, London, Olympics, Two Thousand and Twelve, Olympix, Summer Games, Twenty Twelve, Spirit in Motion, 2012 Gold, Olympiad, Silver Games, Paralympian, Faster Higher Stronger, Citius Altius Fortius, London Medals and Olympian Sponsors all into one billboard.
Well Done!!!  

Olympic Tattoo Misspelled - Epic Fail!

Jerri Peterson, one of the 2012 torch bearers,decided to get a tat to commemorate the honor.
“I looked at it and I was so disappointed. I called my husband and he giggled a little bit. Then I started laughing about it and I’ve laughed ever since. It’s the Oy-limpics – it’s as unique as I am.”

Glad she has a sense of humor.  I would have been PISSED!!!

Which Country has The Most Drunks?

Looks like Russia and most of Europe!  Surprisingly, the US isn't in the top 10. I guess we have too many druggies!

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