I like to golf, but I am not a person who believes golf is a sport.
To me, Golf is the male equivalent of a fashion show.
Golf is a bunch of dudes who put on bright-colored shirts, khaki shorts or pants and some funny-looking shoes, hop in their BMWs, head down to the course to drink some over-priced imported beer, and try to pass themselves off as athletes.
They are not athletes, and for some of them, I question their manhood.
Many of the golfers I see are just lazy men who have gotten way too fat to partake in a real sport.
They golf in order to tell people that they are active in “sports.”
Some even go as far as to say that they are still “Athletic” at their age be cause they play golf.
GIVE ME A BREAK!
Athletic my butt!
If you are still athletic, then you should be able to run a mile without having a heart-attack or play a pick-up game of basketball without sucking.
The majority of them can’t, so they've decided to hang out with a bunch of their buddies from the office and pretend to be athletes.
Why is golf not a sport?
1) No cardiovascular activity
2) Fat people can play
3) You can play golf while drinking alcohol (If you drank during real sports, you would barf all over the place.)
4) There is a guy that sells cologne and other toiletry items in the clubhouse bathroom.
And the guy will shine your shoes for you.
5) Bright-colored shirts and khakis
6) Because it is a “Boss Law”.
More to come on that in a later post.
People who golf always say "But it requires a lot of skill, and..."
Whatever dude!
Brain surgery, fine-tuning an engine and running a multi-million dollar corporation also require a lot of skill but I never see that stuff on ESPN.
And by the way, I feel that Bowling and Poker are not sports either.
They are hobbies just like golf.
I do all three but I would never go around telling people that I am participating in a sport when I am bowling or golfing.
“EL JEFE, What constitutes a Sport?” you ask.
I know you are asking that cause I can hear you, telepathically speaking of course.
These are my rules for Sport Classification:
1) There must be some type of cardio activity
2) There must be a good chance for blood and/or bodily injury
3) The sport is focused on the human, not a machine (Sorry NASCAR)
4) You have to get tired by playing it.
5) AC/DC's "Back in Black" must be played before instance that the activity starts.
6) It must have a chance of being on ESPN as a highlight
7) You have to be in good physical shape to play it
8) Spectators have to be allowed to yell during the competition
9) It has to watchable on TV
10) No pansies can play the game
If it doesn't meet all of the above requirements, then it is not a sport.
Plain and simple.
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