Ladies: If you have any questions or need further advice, let me know. Enjoy!!
-When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.
-When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
-Don't be upset that I didn't think the romantic movie was warm and fuzzy. I wasn't paying attention to the dialog, just the naughty parts.
-Do not ask me to do household chores in front of my friends. Even if I do not have to do them until some time in the future. And don't be negative when you give me more than one to do. I am proud of the fact that I did one and can easily ignore the other nine.
-The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
-If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will probably be your fault.
-Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
-There is no such thing as too many DVDs and Blu-Ray Discs.
-When I say she is kind of hot, I am not saying she is hotter than you so there is no point in starting an argument over it. I don't start with you over Brad Pitt, that French guy from "Dancing with the Stars" or one of those other dumb-ass losers.
-Buying electronics items and sporting goods is a God-given right. It does not matter if we need them or not.
-I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
-Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
-Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
-Please do not distract me when I am reading in the bathroom. It only causes me to lose my place, have to re-read the section, and further extends my time in there.
-Assume when we are in the video store that I am not interested in a romantic comedy. This will greatly expedite our time there.
-I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
-Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.