Monday, September 2, 2013

Let's do the Movie Mash...

Out of interest, I offered Matt the chance to pick a post or two from my blog, Diary of an Internet Nobody, just to see what he'd go for.
One of the things he liked was an old post that was intended to be the first in a series for a page called "Playing favourites..." which was to feature films, books, and music that I feel strongly about.
I only got as far as films and then sort of forgot about the page, but maybe this is a sign that I should add to it soon.

Anyway, here it is...

Playing favourites.  Films...

While scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed the other day, I came across a post which said simply,“What’s your favourite film??”




I mean, I must have a favourite film, right?

I LOVE films, always have.
But how do you choose a favourite? They’re all so different, it’s almost impossible to compare them.
After establishing that I was going to pick three, and that I may, even then, change my mind in ten minutes, I picked Breakfast at Tiffany'sBlade Runner. and of course, I had to have some Lynch in there, so I picked Blue Velvet.

Now I challenge anyone to compare Blake Edwards’ 1961 sanitized but brilliant adaptation of Truman Capote’s book about high class call girl Holly Golightly with either David Lynch’s Freak Noir or Ridley Scott’s extraordinary dystopian recreation of Phillip K. Dick’s "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?"

It just can’t be done.

Could you even imagine the fun David Lynch would have with Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
That “Cat” that Audrey Hepburn’s Holly is so fond of would have been eviscerated and reanimated before the second reel was over. And as for the defilement of the gorgeous Miss Hepburn, as Dorothy, at the hands of Dennis Hopper’s deranged Uncle Frank, it’s not something that bears thinking about.

Can't’t really see Rutger Hauer as Holly’s admirer, Paul Varjak, in Tiffany’s either.

He’d have just shot the pervy Japanese soft porn sleazebag at the beginning and they’d both have had to go on the run with the Cat.

Maybe with Hollywood’s penchant for remakes and “reimaginings” of classic, and just plain old films, they could come up with some sort of hybrid.
I don’t know, how about this -

A young cybernetic call girl is walking home from a hard day at work, when she comes across a cat’s ear. She discovers that the ear is part of a murky underground murder plot involving dwarves, diplomats, Japanese soft core pornographers and nitrous oxide and has to have sex with Kyle MacLachlan in order to find out if he, too is a robot.
Or is he?

What do you think?
We could call it “Do Call Girls Dream of Velvet Blades at Breakfast”

Hey! I think we might be onto something here…

(Since this post was published, I had several very positive comments about it and later posted this movie mash-up.
Check out Double exposure.)


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