Saturday, January 12, 2013

Skater Chicks Are Sexy

I am not a Skater, but a couple of my younger friends are and they tell me the girls that hang with them are Hot as Hell.  I did a little google search and I tend to agree with my skater friends!  Am I too Old to become a Skater?  And Do Skater Chicks go for the older guys?

Start Your Saturday Night With a Perfect Ass

I am an Assman, therefore I like to post pictures of Asses!  Here is one that is near Perfect.  Enjoy and have a great Saturday Night!

What Will Nursing Homes Be Like in 40 years

Kickin' It at the Nursing Home! 
What do you think of when you think of nursing homes?  OOOPS, sorry, I guess it is called Assisted Living now.  Whatever - Same thing to me.

To me, a nursing home is where the older generation go to live out their final years of their life.  I have been to several nursing homes, mostly to visit older family members who were there.  This is what I saw in these places:

1.  Lots of checkers and dominoes being played.
2.  Mostly 40's swing or band music, old country music or some 50's pop music.
3.  Lots of sitting around and watching TV and reading. 
4.  Lots of sleeping.
And that is about it.  Seriously!  They looked like boring, depressing hospitals.  That was my impression.

So what will these places look like in another 40 or 50 years, when our generation starts being confined to these "Old-Folks Homes" by our kids?  I hope to God it isn't like what I have seen before.  I want things to do.  I want Active!  I want parties!  I want dancing and loud music! 

Here is what I hope they will be like:
1.  Lots of Motley Crue, Snoop Dogg, Disturbed, Van Halen and Dropkick Murphy's playing on the stereos.  Think about it, this is the music we grew up on.  This music will be "Classic" by the time we are all in the Nursing Home.  Can you imagine a bunch of 80-year olds banging their heads to the Crue?  I hope it happens!
2.  Parties!  Just because you get old doesn't mean you have to slow down living.  As long as I can, I want to dance and have fun.  Crank up the music and dance.  Heck, I could even dance in a wheelchair if I had to.  Why not build a bar into the nursing homes?  Just a thought.
3.  Forget Checkers and dominoes-- They will be playing games like Pictionary, Would You-Could You, and all those risque games they sell in Spencer's.
4.  TV and movies - Think of the movies that are popular now because those will be popular in the nursing home.  Hangover, Get Him to the Greek, Jason Statham action movies, etc.  Could you imagine your Grandpa every watching a movie like The Hangover? 

I don't know why, but I just see it as a fun, raucous place.  Maybe our generation will revolutionize the Nursing Home and make it "Cool" to be there!

Amazing Facts to Blow Your Mind - Part 2

Many of our readers loved Amazing Facts to Blow your Mind.  Therefore, we are presenting "Amazing Facts to Blow Your Mind Pt. 2."  Enjoy!

Hottie of the Day - Cyn Santana

Our Hottie of the Day is Cyn Santana.  This Latina Bombshell has appeared in numerous Hip Hop videos.  We here at the blog have a thing for Latinas.  I think you will be seeing more of Cyn as the year goes on.  Maybe we can get her to do some modeling for the blog...(OK, that isn't realistic but it wouldn't hurt trying!)

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

Just Got Off The Phone With My Mom...

...This was our conversation.

Seriously, everytime we talk on the phone, I end up listening as she goes on and on for about 5 minutes non-stop.  It has gotten to the point where my dad will take the phone from her if he is around just to give me a break!

Revenge of the Bull

Found this video of a Bullfighter Getting Gored in the Leg in Colombia.

Although it looks like the Bull got his revenge, he really didn't.  The bull still wound up dead while Alejandro Gaviria got out of it  only needing 10 stitches.

The Family Guy Has Something Against The University of Florida

The Family Guys Calls the University of Florida the "Down Syndrome Camp." Not sure what Peter Griffin has against the Florida Gators...

Blast Knuckles

They are called Blast Knuckles and you can buy them on for $42.97.  Imagine using these in your Fight Club!  OOPS, I didn't just talk about Fight Club!

Technology and Cancer

And she is saying this while holding an iPad and standing in front of two huge computer monitors.  Way to set a good example lady!

Friday, January 11, 2013

These Bikinis Leave Nothing to the Imagination

Gotta Give it to them, Canadians are Inventive!

The Canadian Fridge!

Hottie of the Day - Anna


And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

A Bouncing Pug

I have a Pug and I love him!  They are so cute and cuddly.  This Pug bounces up the stairs like his feet are springs.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE - Charlie Sheen is Dating Another Porn Star

Charlie Sheen is dating another porn star. He was been spotted in Cabo San Lucas with "Best All-Girl 3-Way Sex Scene of 2011" nominee Georgia Jones (above - We don't need to post pics of Charlie, do we?). From Us Weekly:
On Monday, Dec. 31, the hot-and-heavy couple were spotted sharing a sexy smooch outside Sheen's villa in the exclusive Los Cabos community. Jones, clad in a denim romper, held her cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other, as her drama-prone beau leaned in for a kiss.
Sheen and Jones rang in 2013 together at his newly opened Cabo bar, El Ganzo, where the actor threw a wild New Year's Eve bash with pals Slash (of Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver fame) and Rob Patterson (of Korn).
So what is the big deal?  Is this news?  Wouldn't we be more surprised if Charlie was dating a normal girl that doesn't take her clothes off or has sex for $$$?

More pics of Georgia Jones so you can see what who Charlie is doing tonight:

Free Advice Friday - How to Prepare for the Super Bowl

We have no idea yet who will be playing in the Super Bowl this year, but it really doesn't matter. Super Bowl parties are a big deal here in the States and many people have them every year, even if they hate both teams playing.  I have a couple of friends who throw Super Bowl parties even though they are not football fans! I also host a Super Bowl party every year and it is usually pretty successful.

This year, I found this nifty infographic highlighting Super Bowl party trends from the fine people at Mint.  Check it out and use it to help plan your Super Bowl Party!

The Sex Life of James Bond

Free Advice Fridays

This advice came from a sign found at a local bar on the way to the bathroom.  I must say, this is some good advice.

Grilled Cheese in a Toaster

Never saw this before!  A reader from Australia sent us a picture of these things.  They are called Toastabags.  All you do is put a grilled cheese sandwich in one of the bags and put it in the toaster.  Janie, our reader, bought them and said they work great, although she isn't to sure about reusing the bag 50 times.  According to her, you are going to have to scrape off the melted cheese from the inside of the bag each time.  Other than that, they are a quick and easy way to make Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.  I may have to see if I can find them in my local Grocery Store.

Not Only Can Kevin Durant Score...

...But he is a Damn Good Dribbler Too!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Eva Angelina on Twitter

Eva Angelina, seen here, is pretty hot and she's a pornstar, so I guess being hot is her job. Anyways, she's on twitter (@lifeofeva) . This is really no biggie since every celeb and celeb wannabe is on twitter nowadays. Bet there are not a lot of 'tweets' that look like these that Eva regularly tweets out:

"Gotta breathe and practice with the butt plug around house. Just leave it in and get comfortable.”

"About to start getting ready for an afternoon of mutual masturbation"

"Getting Ready for some Serious Dick"

And she regularly posts pics on Twitter.  Here are a few:

Thank you Eva for sharing :) God bless the internet!

Another Butt Workout With Women in Bikinis

We do everything we can here to keep our readers healthy and in shape. That includes supplying you with very informative "How-To" Workout videos.  Our Butt Workout series has been very popular!

Now we have a third excellent Butt workout video.  This one is a Butt Isolation Workout Video featuring...You Guessed It!  Bikini Clad girls on the Beach!  ENJOY and Get in Shape!

Now Anyone Can Get Pussy (not what you are thinking...or is it?)

Pussy energy drinks are made and sold in England.  I haven't seen them over here in the states yet.  If they make it over here, I know what I am buying all of my buddies that never can get a girlfriend.  They better appreciate me buying them some Pussy!!!

Rented a Car and This Was on The Dashboard

Not sure what it meant.  I thought it was an air thing, pushed it and felt the air at my feet and coming out towards my head.  Not sure what the arrow pointing to my genitalia meant...

Hottie of the Day Wearing One Of Our Favorite Bikinis

I have No idea who this Hottie is, but she is looking good in a Cute Bikini! 

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

Check out All of Our Other Favorite Bikinis

My Friend's Girlfriend is So Caring

It was Johnny's Birthday yesterday.  He sent me a couple of pics of what his girlfriend did for him.  DAMN! She is a keeper John!!!

A Bouquet of Bacon Roses, Candy and alcohol!

If You don't marry that woman, I will!

He Doesn't Pull Out

A reader sent me this.  The story is that his buddy lives with his girlfriend.  She got pregnant so his friend's sister made this for them.  It was their Christmas Gift.  Pretty Clever!  

Fake Capsizing Boat Trolls the High Seas

Artist Julien Berthier created a boat, named Love Love, that looks like it’s sinking, but actually has a motor that allows it to be driven around, fully afloat. GENIUS!!!
Check out the Boat in the harbor!
I need one for Green Valley and 12 mile lake (Local area lakes, er...big ponds)

If Socialists Had Balls!!

I was trying to fall asleep last night and I got to thinking (that’s when I do my best thinking, btw), “Man, the world is a mess right now. Someone needs to clean it up!”

Now clearly our leaders have been trying to do… things. But seriously, does anyone actually think that it will work? No. And you know why not. Because the problems in this country boil down to one thing. Freedom.

I know, I know, “Hold on there a second, Mister. What do you mean messing with our freedom and all?Well, it’s basically like this. I am beginning to think that the majority of us are just too stupid to handle freedom. Freedom allows people to do what they want. And as we all know, what we want is never good for us. Hence, all this freedom has got to go.  I know this is a radical idea and goes against the grain, but hear me out...

Now I’ve heard a lot of talk lately about our President, and how a lot of people say he’s a socialist.  I disagree based on the fact that he has no balls.  I do agree that he is a Liberal, but being a liberal does not necessarily make you a Socialist.  Now liberals with balls,  they would be classified as Socialists.

So, what we really need is one of those no-pussyfooting around old school Socialist leaders. They would know how to cut through all this freedom crap and get at the root of the problem. Of course, you might be thinking, “Aren’t there still several socialist leaders out there.”  Sure there are, but most of them are more than lacking in the manhood department (Look no further than Chavez in Venezuela).

Canada has always been weak (Sorry to all my Canadian Friends, but most of you will admit that). France hasn’t had a pair since WWII, and even then they were little dinky ones. Italy never really had any (Mussolini talked the talked, but when it got time to act, he couldn't walk the walk). Cuba looks like it’s getting soft now that Raul is in power. Even Russia and China have gone wimpy.  Only that guy in North Korea has still got a set… even though he looks like a funny cartoon character  all strung out on crack.

So what would happen, say if I was the most awesome socialist leader with the biggest set of gonads the world has ever seen?

First problem. Health care. This one is in the news a lot right now, and of course our limp-wristed leaders will do the usual and make a screwed up mess even worse. But if you remove freedom from the equation, the answer is simple. Make fast/processed food and cigarettes illegal. Everyone eats healty and they stop smoking.  (sure there would be a black market for these items, but it still would drastically cut down on sickness)  Done. Next problem.

Dependence on foreign oil/energy prices/global warming and the rest of the imagined crisises. Easy. Make cars illegal.see how easy this is. And the beauty is how they all tie together. If cars are illegal people will have to walk or bike, and therefore get exercise improving their health.   For long distance travel, have collective cars, buses and trains.  Problem solved.  I am the Man!!!

Of course you are probably wondering what I’ll do with all the cry-babies walking around whining about being out of work and their feet hurting. Relax people, I’ve got this problem covered.  I will put them to work for my Government.  They will work long hours and get low pay, but at least they will be working!!

Well, get to work America. We’re doing things right this time. A real rail system that is on time and fast and doesn’t wreck. Build it. An energy grid that doesn’t have black outs and can handle the new energy demands and power sources from my massive nuclear power plants. Nuclear Power, you say? Yes! Because nukes are for people with balls.

Every year we spend billions on repairing lines just so that they can be knocked down again by every tree limb and ice storm or tornado that happens to come along. Do I really have to figure this out for you people? Bury the lines. You, over there, rubbing your swollen feet. You wanna eat today? Then get a shovel and shut up.

Look at Georgia. They’ve just come out of 5 year drought. Meanwhile we’ve had flooding in several other states, some bordering Georgia. How hard can this be? You mean to tell me we can build a pipeline for oil all the way from Alaska but we can’t get water from one state to another? What has the Corps of Engineers been doing the last 50 years anyway? Forget the Great Wall of China. We’ll build the biggest Waterslide/Aqueduct System the earth has ever seen.  It will be the envy of the world!

I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about the economy. Our president seems to think you can just print and talk the problem away. But this is the kind of thing you can expect from someone who was born without balls. This has become such a colossal mess, but really the best solution is the easiest. No more money. None. Nothing. Nada. Nil. Redistribution of wealth is for pansies! Remove the problem once and for all.

As for all the idle automobile factories, they’ll be part of the military, retooled to build my army of giant robots. Not another American will die in war again… unless they get stepped on buy my big robots. Every giant robot will be equipped with a large set of, you guessed it, BALLS! Just in case there is any doubt.

I could go on and on, but obviously you have seen the light of my brilliance and are even now wondering how we can make it happen. Well comrades, it’s simple. Lay down your freedom, join me, and grab your balls.

Now I am sure I will get some nasty emails or comments, so let me just say that this is tongue in cheek.  I better spell it out for some of you so you don't think I am a big-balled socialist (I do have balls, but not socialist balls).  I am actually a moderate.  I don't go too far left or right.  I just wanted to illustrate what a Socialist United States would look like.  Sorry if I offended anyone, but Get Over It!

I hope to God that the above scenario I just wrote will never happen.  If I do run for President, I am sure some stupid journalist will use this post against me.  So enjoy it while you can because I will have to delete it if I decide to run for President.  :)

By The Way!  I do have a big pair of Balls!  I am gutsy and will do what it takes!  Viva los cajones!!!

I Think This is Going to End Badly...

Al Roker Pooped His Pants

And in the White House!!! Yes, in an interview with Dateline this week, Al Roker revealed that a month after his gastric bypass surgery, he was working an event at the White House when he felt the urge to let out a little fart. He thought it was just a fart and he would let it out in the hall since no one was around. But Al's little fart came with a bonus! He felt some liquid oozing in his tightie whities and he immediately knew that he had pooped his pants. Here is an excerpt from the interview with the video below:
Al: "When you've had a bypass and your bowels have been reconstructed, you think you're pretty safe and I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room, [I'm thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out."
Dr. Nancy: "You pooped in your pants."
Al: "I pooped my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew..."
Dr. Nancy: "Which is a common side effect of the surgery..."
Al: "Exactly. And so, I was panicking, so I got to the restroom in the press room, threw out the underwear and went commando."

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I guess "Shart" Happens!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What a Long Day

The time is now 11:00 and I just got home from work. Damn, what a long ass day!  It was fairly uneventful exempt for these three events that happened today:

 1) I ate some amazing chicken fried steak today. It was awesome. Perhaps the best I have had in awhile.  Sad thing is, I am not sure where it was from.  It was brought into work, still hot and fresh. 

 2) I drove through shitty Austin traffic to a meeting in Northwest Austin.  It took 45 minutes to get there thanks to construction and an accident.  On the way back from the meeting, I passed a couple who were wearing matching turquoise polo shirts. Funny thing is, they were probably both in their teens.  How strange is that?  I usually see old people wearing matching outfits, not youngsters.  On a positive note, the girl was wearing some skimpy cut-off jean shorts.  :)

 3) I walked into the office restroom at about 8:15 and I swear I heard somebody masturbating in one of the stalls. I heard the slapping of skin on penis and heard some moans.  I know the guy was alone because I looked low and saw only two feet and heard only one voice moaning.  I hurried, peed, washed my hands and left. Weird thing is, the guy didn't stop masturbating when I walked in and he was still going when I left.  Personally, I have never masturbated at work.  It is too much of a pain to do it.  I would have to walk all the way across the building to the bathroom, think about sex-like things, keep my erection going while worrying about someone walking in, and then try not to shoot my load all over my work clothes. Way too much work.

At least I am home now.  I need a Drink!!!

In Honor of the BCS Champions Alabama Crimson Tide


Massage That Ass!

An Ass That is definitely worth Massaging!

Hottie of the Day - Lais Ribeiro

There is no shortage of Hotties in Brazil.  Seriously, they must put something in the water down there that causes most of the women to become as hot as your average supermodel!  This is Brazilian Model Lais Ribeiro and she has drunk plenty of that "Hottie" water.

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!
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