Saturday, February 2, 2013

Who Has The Hottest Fans - 49ers or Ravens?

Which Fanbase is Sexier?  Here are some of the San Francisco 49ers Hottest Fans:

And Here are some Hot Baltimore fans:

And the Verdict:  I declare a Tie.  We really are all winners here!  Enjoy the Babes and The Super Bowl!

Hottie of the Day - ???

Don't know here name but she is Hot!

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

Nice Centerpiece

Every Kitchen counter needs a centerpiece like this one!

Candice Swanepoel - 5-Bikini Bonanza!

Candice Swanepoel blessed her fans by changing in-and-out of 5 beautiful bikinis in St. Barts while on a shoot for Victoria's Secret.

Spent the Night at a Friends and Was Awoken to Screams

First let me preference this by saying that my buddy J.T. is a great guy, but a little messy.  It isn't just J.T's fault as he lives with 2 other guys in a very nice older house.  The place is huge - has 5 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and a big back yard.  Perfect place for a party.

And that is what they had, a big ass party! On Friday night, I headed over there with a few friends and when I got there at about 9 PM, there were about 40 people there, along with 3 kegs and a full bar.  By midnight, the party had grown to well over 100 people. Could have been 200 for all I know as I was already drunk!

To make a long story short, I met a cute brunette chick and we really hit it off.  J.T. offered up one of the 2 spare bedrooms that they use for storage and we proceeded to head in there to get to know each other much, much better.  Both of us being drunk, we fell asleep after a couple of rounds of some awesome, drunk sex - you know the kind when you have no inhibitions and are wild and free. I am pretty sure there are some things that she and I did that we never would have done sober.

Anyway, at about 5 AM I am awoken by the sound of screaming.  It is Jessica (That was her name, although I didn't catch her last name) who accidentally walked into a closet thinking it was the bathroom.  She turned on the light and this is what she saw:

OK, so now I know Jessica is scared of spiders...that is good to know since I am a prankster.  Since we were both up, we did a quickie and then back to bed.  

At about 9 AM, I needed to get going so I used the spider info to prank her into waking up.  I couldn't find the spider, so I just put a piece of lint on her face while asleep.  She started swatting at it, kind of opened her eyes.  I looked at her and said "Shit, it's the Spider!"  She literally jumped straight up and out of the bed swatting at her face.  I was just laughing.  She was not a happy girl.  She informed me that this might hurt my chances of getting a repeat performance in the future.  

The, before she left, she gave me her number and a long kiss, which led to one more quickie.  Then we went our separate ways.  I figure I will wait until Sunday night or Monday morning to call her.  I don't want to seem to eager. 

Bree Olson - Official Porn Star of Super Bowl XLVII

Charlie Sheen's Ex and blog favorite Bree Olson wants to be the official Porn Star of the Super Bowl!

Yes, Bree Olson has been tweeting pictures of her sexy self in 49ers and Ravens gear from her @BreeOlson twitter account. She has publicly stated that she is rooting for the 49ers, but she wants to give the Ravens equal time in her Pornatopia world! Isn't she a nice and thoughtful Porn Star?

If no one else is going to do it, I will! I officially anoint Bree Olson as the Official Porn Star of Super Bowl XLVII. Are we ready for some football?

Jennifer Lawrence on Boobs and Tequila

Jennifer Lawrence, fresh off a SAG win and guest hosting SNL, was on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where she discussed a using tequila to cure her walking pneumonia and her boobs. Sounds interesting...

WTF - Japanese Butt Testing?

Someone please tell me what is going on here? Here are my guesses:

A.  One of those Infamous Japanese Game Shows
B.  Japan has come up with "Butt Perfume"
C.  Searching for the Most Aromatic Farts in the World
D.  Some kind of sick and twisted Sex Game

Which do you think it is?

My Thoughts on Groundhog Day

Call me a pessimist or a cynic if you must, but the idea that a big rodent  can predict weather for a whole year is a little far fetched don't you think?  Isn't asking a little too much of a furry rodent who is so fat that it can hardly stand upright on its hind legs.  And remember, the thing is coming out of its winter slumber, so he hasn't even fully awoke yet.

And who the Hell decided that if a groundhog does or does not see a shadow is a form of meteorology?  Do meteorologist have to take a special class about "Animal Behavior and Weather Predicting?"

I have a much better idea for Groundhogs. If these critters are so smart that they can predict the weather, why don't we put their little brains and fat bodies to even better use.  They could be like smaller versions of drug dogs, only they spy and not sniff.  BRILLIANT!!!

Just hear me out - the police could recruit them to carry little, tiny keyhole cameras implanted in their foreheads, so they could scurry around, recording drug dealers and prostitutes in the parks of big and small cities.   There are some parks in cities where you cannot walk more than 100 feet without a drug dealer approaching you and offering up some drug that sounds an 80's rap-song title.

So let's put the revered Groundhog to work for the common good of the people.  Who cares about the weather.  With Global warming, in a few years the groundhog will always be saying that winter is over since we will not have winter anymore.

Long live the Groundhog!!!

Best News Bloopers of January 2013

Bad Lighting

My Friend Marcus went to Applebee's on a date.  They weren't too happy with the lighting at their table!

Interesting Way to Score a Goal

A player attenmpts to clear the ball, kicks it directly into the face of his teammate and then it rebounds from his face into the goal.  Talk about an embarrassing and painful Own Goal!!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Chicago Bulls Have Some Sexy Fans!

Nice Use of a Mirror

She was nice enough to give us a front and back view.  How Thoughtful!

Nipply Day

Had to be a cold one outside!

Hottie of the Day - Sophie Howard

The Beautiful Busty British Bombshell Sophie Howard has made one previous appearance on this blog and she was very well received.  So much so that we had several requests to make her one of our Hotties - So That is just what we did!  Sophie Howard is our Hottie of the Day!  If you want to see Sophie's Boobies in all their glory, click here for some NSFW pics of our Hottie!

And Don't forget to check out our Other Hotties of the Day!

PornHub's Super Bowl Commercial is Rejected (SFW)

This really isn't all that shocking. Did PornHub actually think they would get an ad on TV during the Super Bowl? CBS rejected the ad.

A little background: PornHub the 67th most popular website in the world and is basically YouTube for porn. For the record, I swear that I have never visited the site. EVER!!!

Believe it or not, the advertisement in question is very tame.  I would say it is PG.  I guess the fact that it  would have led millions of men to the site for the “first time” was the deciding factor.  CBS doesn’t want anything to do with that.

Wanna see? Here you go. Judge for yourself:

Beards are like Boobs

Think about it...Beards really are like Boobs!
  • People want to touch them, but it's rude to do it without asking.
  • While not everyone can really have 'em, EVERYBODY loves 'em!
  • Guys in bars will buy you drinks for that reason alone.
  • You have to remind people, "My eyes are up here!"
  • They can get in the way of normal, everyday activities
  • When we're deep in thought we stroke them.
  • If my date has her hands on the beard enough, it is likely we are going to have sex.

Ever Wonder How They Get Snow Off The Train Tracks?

Why they use a Train Plow of course!

Pop Vs. Soda Vs. Coke

I print this for Todd Jacobson, who was talking about this stuff earlier this week.  Around Iowa, we usually call it pop.  When I was in Texas, it was either Coke or Soda.  Shows how interesting the English Language is and how it varies from region to region.  Click on the graphic to see a larger version. 

My Friend's Baby is a Mini-Donald Trump

Found this on my Facebook feed this morning.  My friends Julie and Tim decided to turn their little three month old baby into a Mini-Donald Trump.  Cute.

Lots of Guys Need This Bracelet

Free Advice Fridays - Steak Doneness

Sorry, I don't have a source for the above steak doneness' poster. It doesn't really matter anyway because the best way to find out how done your steak is by using the hand/touch method. That's how all of us "professional" grillers and meat smokers do it. If you really need the above pic, you shouldn't be grilling steaks.

All you have to do is touch the meaty portion of your hand just below the thumb. By touching your thumb to each of your fingers, that meaty portion of the palm just below the thumb gets tougher and tighter as you move along towards the pinky. To use this method, you actually have to put your finger on the steaks, so be careful not to touch it right after you flip, else you'll need some aloe to soothe the burn. Just press down in the middle of the steak. Press a couple of times in a couple of spots around the center. Now compare the stiffness of the meat to your hand test.  You will have the doneness of the meat.  

And there you have it!  From a "Master" Griller and Smoker to the world!!!

Welcome to February

One month down and 11 to go in the year 2013.  Let's take a look at this short and very cold month!

February is the Month of:
  • American Heart Month
  • An Affair to Remember Month
  • Black History Month
  • Canned Food Month
  • Creative Romance Month
  • Great American Pie Month
  • National Cherry Month
  • National Children’s Dental Health Month
  • National Grapefruit Month
  • National Weddings Month

February- Day by Day(With my comments in Bold!)

1 National Freedom Day
2 Ground Hog Day
2 Candlemas
3 The Day the Music Died - Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper died in a plane crash in 1959 in Clear Lake, Iowa
4 Create a Vacuum Day
4 Thank a Mailman Day
5 National Weatherman's Day
6 Lame Duck Day
7 Wave All you Fingers at Your Neighbor Day - Seriously?  There is a holiday for this?
7 Send a Card to a Friend Day - I wonder if Hallmark created this one...
8 Boy Scout Day
8 Kite Flying Day - in the middle of winter!?!
9 Toothache Day - And what if you don't have a Toothache?
10 Umbrella Day - More Like Snow Boots Day in Iowa!
11 Don't Cry over Spilled Milk Day - Whatever!
11 Make a Friend Day
11 White T-Shirt Day
12 Abraham Lincoln's Birthday
12 Plum Pudding Day - that just sounds disgusting!
13 Get a Different Name Day - Mr. Awesome will do!
14 Clean out Your Computer Day - second Monday of Month
14 Ferris Wheel Day - It is a little cold to ride a Ferris Wheel in February!
14 National Organ Donor Day
14 Valentine's Day
15 Candlemas - on the Julian Calendar
15 National Gum Drop Day
15 Singles Awareness Day
16 Do a Grouch a Favor Day - I will do Clay Arnold a favor if he wants
17 Random Acts of Kindness Day
18 National Battery Day
19 National Chocolate Mint Day
20 Cherry Pie Day
20 Hoodie Hoo Day - What is a Hoodie Hoo?  Sounds like something from Dr. Seuss.  
20 Love Your Pet Day - In our house, this is known as "Pamper Chato Day!"
21 Card Reading Day
21 President's Day - third Monday of month
22 George Washington's Birthday
22 Be Humble Day
22 Walking the Dog Day - Chato gets a special walk today, as long as it isn't freezing!
22 International World Thinking Day - My suggestion - World Leaders should get together and think of some solutions for this messed up world!
23 International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day - Our Dog Chato will be happy today!
23 Tennis Day - Kevin Cooper will be partying it up today!
24 National Tortilla Chip Day - Love this one!
25 Pistol Patent Day - WTF?  You get a patent for a pistol or what?  
26 Carnival Day
26 National Pistachio Day - I will skip this one.  Not a big Pistachio fan!
26 Tell a Fairy Tale Day
27 Polar Bear Day  -- I love Polar Bears!
27 No Brainer Day -
28 Floral Design Day
28 Public Sleeping Day - This may become my new favorite Holiday!
28 National Tooth Fairy Day
29 Leap Day (once every four years) -- We Don't have to worry about this one in 2011!
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