Saturday, August 24, 2013

Imagine Unwrapping That On Your Wedding Night!

Ummmmm...Enrique is Speechless! 

Our Favorite Lingerie - Mask Included

When I think of Masks, I think of Halloween, the Lone Ranger, Mardi Gras, not Lingerie.  Apparently, this lingerie comes with the mask included.  Now throw in some handcuffs and we have a party!!!

Want to see some more of "Our Favorite Lingerie?"  Click Here!

Hottie of the Day - Gabriella Collado

Gabriella Collado is another Latina Model who is burning up the beaches of Miami.  I haven't found too much about this beauty.  Her website doesn't have a bio so I have no idea where she is from originally.  Enjoy these pics and I will post some more info when I find it.  

Check out our Former Hotties of the Day!                                        More Beautiful Latinas Here!

We have a ton of Bikini Clad Women on this blog.  Click here to check them all out!

America Has More Porn Sites Than People

Does that really surprise anyone?  Chalk it up to Capitalism, or maybe we are just a huge group of horny bastards!!!

Shittens - The Mitten That Loves to Get Dirty

This is a real life product. They are called Shittens. Its a like a wet-nap thats shaped like a mitten to help wipe when you poop.  I can think of a few people I will be giving this to for Christmas!  It's always nice to get my Christmas shopping done early.

A Cuban Sandwich That Isn't Really Cuban

If you are in Miami and you see a Dunkin Donuts, you can now buy a Cuban sandwich, (since when did Dunkin Donuts start having non-donut goods? – I am really behind the times!) featuring roasted pork, Swiss cheese and ham on an oven-toasted bun that is looks more like a French Roll.
To top it all off, it is topped with a “creamy Cuban spread of Dijon mustard and chipped dill pickle.” I have traveled to Cuba twice and I can attest that I never saw any Dijon mustard and I don’t remember seeing dill pickles in the local restaurants.  Also, every Cuban Sandwich I have eaten had shredded or pulled pork, not a slice of roasted loin.  Dunkin Donuts, I believe you need a culture lesson!!! 
Fortunately, I will not have to see this “pseudo” sandwich as it is only available in restaurants located in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area.  Please do not bring this sandwich to Iowa!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Gisele - Please Answer Me

Gisele has made a few appearances here on the blog.  She won the hearts of myself and Enrique when she posed wearing our Alma Mater's T-Shirt and throwing up the "Hook 'em Horns" Sign!  We both sent her emails asking her to marry us (we are still waiting for a reply Gisele.)

Gisele is looking great in these pics.  Please, Gisele, Pick Me and not Enrique!  We can live in Longhorn Heaven!!!  I will be wating for your reply...

Follow Gisele on Twitter @XoGisele

We have some NSFW pics of the lovely Gisele here

Check out Her Awesome Official Website at (NSFW)

God Bless...

God Bless Them, I mean Her.  Such a fine Christian Woman.  Love that Cross!

They Can't Have my D*@K, nor my $29.95

Seriously, Who Buys this Shit?  If I was going to spend $29.95 on porn (Which I wouldn't cuz there are about 5 years worth of free porn out there to download), I sure as hell wouldn't spend it on a video that shows ugly women having sex!  Just sayin'...

Hottie of the Day - Magdy Vazquez

Our Hottie of the Day today is Magdy Vazquez, a Paraguayan Model who was named Miss Tunning Paraguay 2011 in Paraguay (Whatever the Hell Miss Tunning  is...Could it be Miss Stunning with some awful spelling?)  Rumor has it she will be appearing in the Spanish edition of Playboy soon.  Can't wait to see that!

Follow Magdy on Twitter:  @MagdyVazquez

Check out our Former Hotties of the Day!

Free Advice Fridays - How to Drink in Class

Drinking makes everything better. Sporting events, barbecues, holidays, and even school become a totally different animal once some happy juice is added to the mix. Today's edition of Free Advice Friday is going to focus on turning that boring college lecture class into something marvelous and exciting, all because of Booze! Sounds like fun, right?
First off, this everything I am going to talk about will be a moot point if you have a professor that doesn't allow water bottle, gatorade, cokes, etc. in the classroom.  Luckily, the majority of college professors do allow students to take drinks into the class.  As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever had a college prof. deny a student his or her right to stay hydrated.  
And of course, I am assuming that you all are of legal drinking age.  If you aren't disregard this (or, if you get caught and you are a minor, please don't tell the authorities you got the idea from this blog!)  
OK,  Let's get this Free Advice Friday Going, Shall we?  Below are the rules that you should go by in order to have an enjoyable and happy drinking experience in class and avoid detection from professors and campus cops  
  • Drinking in class is best done in those large lecture halls/classroom.  The ones that look like an auditorium.  Drinking in small classrooms is much riskier as the smell of alcohol will be easier to detect and if you get inebriated, it is going to be much easier to notice you.  
  • Sit in the back of the room.This helps avoid detection and limits the number of people who might get a whiff of your alcohol infused breath.
  • Don't do anything that will draw attention to yourself.  Be inconspicuous. 
  • Relax!  You are not at a party.  You want to drink enough to get a buzz on and then carry it on after class, where the real drinking will begin.  
  • Early on in the class, do something to get the attention of the professor so he/she knows you are there and knows you are aware of what is going on in the class.  Raise your hand, ask a question or answer one.  Do it early before you get drunk.  You don't want to be called on and you make a fool of yourself stumbling your way through the answer. Once you have participated in class, the professor will probably leave you alone for the rest of the class.
  • Look normal.  Do your normal routine.  Put your books out and have your notebook open so it looks like you are paying attention. 
  • Don’t drink so much that you can’t act like a normal student.The point is to get a good buzz on, but not get drunk.  Don't go overboard.   
  • Try not to take multiple bathroom breaks.  Nothing screams of a Boozing Student as having to take 3 or 4 bathroom breaks during an hour and a half class.  
Now how will you take your booze to the classroom without getting caught? The most obvious choice is pouring your whisky or rum into a a 20oz soft drink bottle.  Make sure the color matches if it is a clear bottle.  Whiskey or dark rum into Coke or Pepsi, vodka or gin into a 7-Up, Mountain Dew or Sprite.My favorite method was using one of those "Big Gulp" cups that you get from the 7-Eleven or other convenience stores.  Even better is using a can.  No one ever thinks that people mix alcohol with their drinks in a can. 

Make sure you mix it.  Don't get crazy and try to pour straight liquor into your cup or bottle.  You are gonna get shitfaced and it is gonna be obvious that you are drinking.

I know that there are some of you out there that don't drink the hard stuff (you are missing out!).  Never Fear, there are still ways to pull this off.  Grab an extra-large coffee cup from 7-Eleven or other convenience store.  These can hold a couple of beers.  You can even poor beer into a McDonald's cup if you have to.  

Remembering High School

Reminiscing today about the Good 'ol Days.  Back in my teen years when I didn't have a care in the world.

Since I only have about 5 minutes, let me post the first few things I thought of.  Warning, I am in a "Funny" mood today, so my memories were funny ones.

1. In one of my Earth Science classes, we were handed out a worksheet with the title of, "The Big Bang and the Day After." A Classmate sitting next to me whispered, "Hey,. The big bang and the morning after.  Sounds like my girl and I last Saturday" The teacher heard him and threw him out of the room.  

2. A couple of my friends and I used to drive around together in my giant Ford LTD listening to gangster rap, throwing McDonalds Happy Meal toys at other moving cars, and tipping over portable toilets (sometimes with friends in them.)  I know, I know - Juvenile, but I was about 17 and I was living in a small town.  There wasn't a whole lot to do.

3. There was this guy in school whose nickname given to him by his work buddies is Big Business because he handles his damn business. When he hooked up with women of a heavy variety, he said they were "Business Class."

4. We had a teacher who Big Business used to drive nuts with his class clown antics, and one day when she asked where my book was, Business said, "He burned it." Without asking me if it was true, she called my dad to inform him that I had burned my Reading book. I get home, and my dad says, "So, you're burning books, huh?!"  Big Business had that kind of power.  He would say something and people would just believe it to be true.

5. During a basketball bus roadtrip for a Friday night game, a buddy pulled his pants down and pressed his butt cheeks up against the glass for a girl to see waiting to cross the street at a corner. The girl caught a glance and then looked away in horror.  We were watching her reaction and then turned back to the guy on the bus (I think his name was Travis).  While we were watching her, he had turned around in the seat and was giving her a full frontal nude show.  Travis? was a ninth-grader and I was surprised the lady could see his junk!!!  

Free Advice Friday -- Rules for Life: Pay Attention Students!!

Here is some advice that everyone can use!!

Rule 1:
Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2:

The world won't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3:

You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

Rule 4:

If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule 5:

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6:

If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7:

Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.

So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT.

In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. (there is a school to the east of here that does that)

This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:

Life is not divided into semesters.

You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

Do that on your own time.

Rule 10:

Television is NOT real life.

In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11:

Be nice to nerds.

Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Rule No. 12:

Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20.

Rule No. 13:

You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14:

Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother,teachers are mean and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.

You're welcome.

Latinos Have a Plan To Take Over the United States

I am Latino and I have no ill will towards the USA.  Sure, a good chunk of the United States was once part of Mexico, but wars are fought and stupid leaders give up parts of their country (Yes, I am talking to you General Santa Ana!).  I have several Mexican-American friends who swear that the increase in the Hispanic population here in the U.S. is some sort of master plot by Mexico to take over the U.S.  “BASURA!” I say.  Then I see this in the news, a Latino couple in Nebraska (That;s up close to where Matt lives) last week became the proud parents of quintuplets. Mara, Cristóbal, Ximena, Arleth and Roselyn García where born in July. 

Then I got to thinking…I have a lot of Latino friends here in Texas and I know of 3 Latino couples who have twins in the past 18 months, 2 couples who have had triplets and my friend’s brother just had quadruplets.  All are Latinos.  WOW – We are a fertile bunch!!

I always knew that we Hispanics are a resourceful bunch and now I am beginning to think that maybe we have crafted a brilliant master plan to take over the U.S: Reproduce quickly and in large quantities.  

Vintage Friday

I've been doing some housekeeping this week after my hiatus so thought this was appropriate.  Hope you like my choice for the week. (Pity she's not real)

French Maid

Pop on over to the dark side and read my Life Cherries blog at

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Our Favorite Dresses - Sheer

Not sure how else to describe this one - Sheer, see-thru, sexy - That just about covers it!

"Why The Devil Loves Anal" By Former Porn Star Joseph Sciambra

According to Former Gay Porn Star Joseph Sciambra, “Anal sex creates a doorway into the demonic supernatural.”  He believes that Anal Sex is the realm of the Devil and performing it puts you that much closer to Satan himself.  

Some revelations from Joseph:

He talks about giving birth to the devil anally...

"Jenna Jameson Never did Anal on Screen." First off, I think he is wrong about that. 2nd, does that mean she is a saint? 

"The anus was never designed to accommodate the penis."

 He had to have his sphincter stitched shut after his years of Gay Porn - My question:  HOW THE HELL DO YOU POOP?

"Anal is becoming the First kiss."  Not with the women I know.

Now Joseph is a heterosexual Christian. Here is his website:

Which One? - HMMMMM...

More Decisions: Other Editions of “Which One?”

All of the Butts that Have Graced the Pages of this Blog

Thong Thursdays - Doing the Laundry au natural!

OK, not quite au natural, but damn close.  Especially with that spaghetti strap of a thong!

Don't forget to check out all of our other Thongs that have made an appearance on "Thong Thursdays!"

Pasties - A History

I Guess Colombia is not the Spelling Capital of the World

OOPS!!!!   According to the Colombian (not Columbian) newspaper El Tiempo, the country’s organizing body of this year’s World Games has recalled all of the 1,221 gold, silver and bronze medals that were supposed to be handed out to athletes at this year’s competition.
The reason? A not-so-tiny misprint…

Hate To Tell You Colombia, It’s “World” not “Word"
Follow us on Twitter for to get the latest happenings, Check Out Our Facebook Grouppage, our Facebook Fanpage or Return to our Homepage


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...