Saturday, September 21, 2013

Our Favorite Bikinis - ...With Heels!

 Check Out All of Our Favorite Bikinis

Our Favorite Lingerie (And Pasties!)

Another one of my favorites in this series.  Anytime you have pasties, it is a Win-Win!

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Hottie of the Day - Kleio Valentien

Kleio Valentien is one of our Hotties that I personally have met.  Kleio was born in Houston and was living in Austin when she started modeling and eventually got into porn.  She was the neighbor of one of my friends and she would hang out with everyone when we were drinking at their apartment complex pool.  She is a beauty!  Unfortunately, I never got the chance to do anything with her.  I had a girlfriend at the time and she always had a ton of guys around her.

Here are a few NSFW pics of Kleio

Check out our Former Hotties of the Day!

If you like Porn Stars, then Click Here to See Our Collection of Porn Stars that have graced the posts of this blog!

Our Favorite Bikinis - Vida Guerra in Chiles

Vida Guerra Wearing a Chili Pepper Bathing Suit.  Those are real Chili Peppers.  So if you get hungary, I guess you can rip one off and eat it.  Or if a dude is getting a little too friendly, break one open and rub it in his face -- That will stop him.  I always like Bikinis that look good and are practical too.

That Spider Monkey is Excited.

Hell, I would be too if Two Hotties were holding me and I was sandwiched between their boobs!

Nothing like a Little Monkey Boner to boost the ego!

Pub Sign

That just about sums up my morning after!
I drank just a tad too much last night and I am feeling it this morning.  I may have to go get it "Serviced" soon with a Bloody Mary!

Drunk Neighbor Tries to Make a Pizza

Talked to my neighbor this morning.  He lives with a guy who is a big-time drunk.  Always coming in at weird hours and passing out everywhere.  He told me he woke up this morning and smelled something burning.  He went to the over and found a pizza in there, smoking.  It was burnt to hell.  He immediately went to talk to his roommate.

It seems his roommate came home at about 3 AM, drunk and hungry.  He got a frozen pizza out of the freezer and stuck it in the oven, then he passed out on the floor of the dining room.  My neighbor found the pizza in the oven at 10 AM.

I baked a pizza at noon and he took a picture of a slice of my pizza and his roommate's pizza.

Should I get a Tattoo?

Lanthie Ransom

Bored, So I Had a Little Fun With My Bacon

Friday, September 20, 2013

Our Favorite Lingerie - Black Petals

I think this one ranks right up there as one of my all-time favorites in this series!!!

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Random Hotties to Get You Ready for the Weekend!

Which One? - College Coed Shower Edition

Even More Tough Decisions – Check out our NSFW “Which One” Pics.  

Hottie of the Day - Seanna Mitchell

Seanna Mitchell is our Hottie of the Day! Seanna Mitchell is a Canadian female swimmer who won a silver  medal at the 2007 Pan American Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  Now, I think she is just modeling, which works out great for all of us!  What a beauty!

Check out our Former Hotties of the Day!

Free Advice Fridays - 10 Types of Women You Do Not Hook Up With in Vegas!

I consider myself a "Vegas" Expert.  I have traveled to Vegas at least 50 times for bachelor parties, Super Bowls, Birthdays, and just to gamble and party. I have met all kinds of people in Vegas, and all kinds of chicks there.  There are definitely a lot of nice, wholesome Hot girls there, but there are also a ton of scammers and swindlers who just want to use you for one thing or another. Hooking up with the wrong kind of girl could easily put a damper on your Vegas vacation and could even drastically change your life.

Read this post if you want to avoid being the butt of all of your friends jokes for the foreseeable future and if you don't want to have your name referred to as an embarrassing act ("You just pulled a Jim") This is a list of the 10 Girls to Avoid in Las Vegas.

1. Vegas Cougars
Vegas Cougars are not the same as cougars in San Antonio, Oklahoma City or rural Iowa.  I might think that you are ready for a cougar and you might have tamed a few cougars in your day, but you probably haven't come up against the Vegas Cougar!  You can't handle the Vegas Cougar. Here is the typical Vegas Cougar:
--She is probably in her early to late fourties.
--She probably looks a little wild and unkempt; messy hair, crazy clothes.
--She will be aggressive and offer you any things (My first Vegas Cougar kept feeding me money at the roulette table, then bought me dinner and drinks before taking me to her place.  I was 26 and she was about 45 and never let me out of her sight after she latched on to me)

You say "Free Dinner and drinks, Sex, What is the big deal?  I forgot to mention that many Vegas Cougars are still married (and they almost never tell you until after you have hooked up), causing some possible issues when the husband arrives home or finds out.  Their extreme aggressiveness can be overwhelming and they can be very clingy.  I have hooked up with four of them in my partying days and once they had me, it was hard to get rid of them.  When I went back home, they texted and called me daily, often times to complain about their marriages or their boring lives.  I had one fly to Austin to visit me unannounced.  She told her husband she was going to L.A for the weekend (And she had not told me she was married yet.  I found out that weekend.)  I hate unannounced arrivals.  And I don't do married women.  Two of the four cougars I hooked up with turned out to be married. Neither of them told me until we were either back at their place or weeks later.  And one more thing, once they have you, they will take you everywhere to show you off to their friends.  You are the new boy toy after all!  Be Careful!!!

2. Hot Girls Looking Lonely & Hanging Around Casino Floors at 3 AM
It is 4 AM and you spot a hottie flirting with you at the casino bar.  Word of advice - She is not all that into you!  Trust Me.  Think about it.  It is 4 AM, she is alone, she looks hotter than hell...Why the hell isn't she already with someone!  You can tell yourself that it must be your lucky night, but it isn't.  The lady is working.  I have had some unbelievable hotties flirt with me late at night (Early in the morning) in Vegas and I don't even pay them any attention.  9 times out of 10 they are Hookers.  They just want your $$$.  They are hoping you are drunk, lonely and horny so they can get a couple hundred dollars off of you.

Now if you are into hookers and spending a few hundred bucks for an hour of sex, then Vegas is definitely your place.  But be careful...Prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas.  It is legal outside the city in some places, but not in Vegas.  Every once in awhile, the cops will put a decoy in a Vegas bar and try to arrest horny guys.

We said it before and we'll say it again, prostitution is illegal in Clark County. If you need help, study the women on this list before you go.

3. The Smoking Granny at the Slots.
I don't mean Smoking Grannies as in Cougars, I mean the old ladies who sit at slot machines and chain smoke for hours.  NEVER, NEVER sit next to one of these ladies. Your clothes will reek of smoke the next day and you will probably improve your chance for lung cancer by about 10%.

4. Bachelorettes
YES, I love a good bachelorette party.  I have friends who will actually see a bachelorette party and start trying to figure out how to get in with them.  They think they are easy targets because they are drinking and walking around in skimpy dresses wearing penis paraphernalia and condoms.   And sadly, many women use the bachelor party to find the last guy they will sleep with before getting married.  Alot of guys do the same thing.  So the chances for hooking up with someone in a bachelor party is better than a regular girl at some club.

Here is the problem, most of the girls in the bachelorette party are so drunk that they will probably pass out before you can even get them into bed.  Seriously, they drink a ton at those things!  I know, I have been around my fair share.  Girls who normally never drink will have 8 or 9 drinks and start throwing up.  I used to work in a bar and if a girl was puking, 9 times out of 10 it would be girl from a bachelorette party.

Even if you do get her back to the room, the next morning is going to be ugly.  Since they aren't used to this, they are going to be filled with regret and sorrow.  Tears will flow...just a warning.

5. The Cooler Woman
You have heard of the "Cooler Man"  Well there are also "Cooler Women" I have a friend who works at the Golden Nugget and he confirms that there is such a thing.  You start hitting it big and the pit boss let's you keep winning a few more hands.  You start thinking that there is no way you can lose.  Then the pit boss calls in the "Cooler Lady".  Your night will head south from there, trust me.  Get out of there before you lose everything!!!

Jennica is a well known
 Vegas SheMale.  

6. The Woman who is not a Woman
Vegas has its fair share of transvestites.  I read somewhere that there are more transvestites per person in Vegas than in any other city in the U.S.  Trust me, it isn't easy to tell anymore if that hottie smiling at you is really a girl or a guy.  And it gets worse with poor lighting and ample amounts of booze.  If you have even the smallest doubt about the girl, leave her alone and move on.  Better to be safe than sorry.

7. The Psycho Woman
They are easy to see.  They look nervous, drugged up (many are) and hyper as hell.  They are screaming and smoking and drinking non-stop.  The scary thing is that they keep drinking and drinking but they never seem to get drunk.  That is because they have such a high tolerance from drinking 24/7 that it doesn't phase them. These are the women who will give you a wild night, but you will probably end up in jail sometime during the evening.  AVOID!!!

8. The Robber
Anytime some beautiful girl starts talking to you when there are about 20 buff, sexy young guys sitting in the bar, you can probably assume it is way too good to be true. And you would probably be right.  There are a lot of scammers, thieves and con-artists in Vegas.  Many women will find a lonely guy who looks right and start to scam you immediately.

You will have to buy her drinks, dinner and whatever else she wants.  Eventually, she will get you to your room and one of two things will happen:
--She will drug your drink, wait for you to pass out and then steal your wallet, watch and anything else of value. or
--She will actually sleep with you then wait for you to take a shower.  She will tell you to get the water ready and get in, she will be there in a second after she calls her roommate or something.  Then, when you are in the shower, she will rob you and run off.

9. The Sex at Rehab Woman
If you have been to Rehab, the Hard Rock's raunchy pool party, you know what I am talking about. You meet a good looking chick there and she wants to do it right there in the club.  (Trust me it happens almost nightly!  I have been there 4 or 5 times and I can vouch for it).

It sounds like fun, but consider this:  The girl who wants to have sex with you in public is probably a pretty crazy chick.  Most women who want to have sex with a stranger in public is a little nuts and probably more than just a little promiscuous.  So she is probably been around the block a time or two.  Also, the sex is almost always in the pool.  Some hide it pretty well, but they are doing it.  I wouldn't even get in the water when I was there.  There had to be a ton of semen floating around there. Also, condoms tend to slide off in water.  Do you want to risk getting her pregnant?  What about some ugly venereal disease?   ( I have two friends who did just this, had sex with a complete stranger in the pool.  One of them lost the condom and didn't know it till after they were done.)This is not the place you want to get wild and have sex in public at.  This girl is pretty crazy to want to have sex with you in public. Still, that's not so bad. After all it's Vegas and that's what a few drinks in 100+ degree weather will do to anyone. What's worse is that this girl wants to have sex with you at Rehab where several other folks have already had sex in the very same water you've been swimming in. Condoms don't work in water, do they?

10. BDSM Mistresses
There are some kinky people in Vegas.  That woman you met at the bar might just turn out to be some kinky mistress who wants to step on your balls with her heels, gag you with a ball and then spank the crap out of you. They are serious out there. If you are not into that stuff, stay away from any woman wearing lots of leather, chains and spikes.  You might get more than you bargained for.
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